I listened. I could make out cars passing on a distant road somewhere, but little else. There were two squares of old walls, half demolished, about forty feet to the side of me, the skeletons of outhouses that had once stood on the site but were now long forgotten.
That was the point. No one came here.
No one would find me.
I thought I heard movement, the sound of birds flapping their wings. I saw something arc up to my left and around. Then there were footsteps, the noise of rubble being kicked across concrete, and the crunch of snow. Someone was approaching out of sight. I tried to move, but my whole body throbbed. I could feel bruising around my jaw and at the back of my head. When I tried to turn, pain shot all the way up from my mouth to my eye. It felt like blood was running down my face.
A bitter wind came then, cutting in across the open ground, and suddenly, with it, the smell of something. Something warm and saccharine, like boiled sweets. When the wind died down again, I could feel someone’s breath, right at my ear. I tried not to move, tried to maintain my composure, but having someone so close sent a shiver through me. It seemed to amuse them: whoever it was backed away after that, as if they’d secured a little victory.
I thought about shouting for help, about making as much noise as I could. But I didn’t have any cards to play. Out here, away from the road, no one would hear me. And even if I did somehow shake off the binds and make a break for it, I wouldn’t know which direction to run in. I’d be running into the darkness as if I was blindfolded.
More wind. Louder and colder this time.
‘Evelyn?’
The gag muffled my voice. I cleared my throat and could feel my muscles tighten. More pain throbbed in my head, and when it passed I felt dizzy and nauseous. I tried to say her name for a second time, but the word got stuck. And as I searched for it, trying to pull it out through my teeth, I felt someone breathing against my ear again. Only this time I could also feel lips — skin brushing skin, only briefly, but long enough.
Footsteps in the snow, moving away.
I started to turn my head, despite the pain, needing to see who was behind me. But as I did, I felt a hand grab me under the chin and a thumb press in against my cheek.
‘Don’t do that again.’
A man.
He let go of my face and pushed my head forward so my chin touched my chest. He held it there. Between my legs I could see blood dripping down from my face, into the snow.
‘Stay like that,’ he said. ‘And close your eyes.’
I could taste blood on my tongue. He’d pressed so hard my teeth had cut the inside of my mouth. I spat it into the snow, and watched it spread out in tiny lines.
Behind me, the man cleared his throat. Then more footsteps in the snow, crunching, fading away and coming back again. He’d been to collect something. I moved my head, discomfort forcing me to raise it slightly. I felt his hand spread across the back of my skull and a gun slide past my ear and in under my chin.
‘What did I say to you?’
‘I can’t hold it there,’ I said through the gag.
‘Move again and I’ll put a bullet through your brain.’ He shoved the gun in harder against my throat. ‘Now stay like that and keep your eyes closed.’
I realized in the silence that followed that I vaguely recognized his voice. My first thought was the man with the tattoo. But it wasn’t him. I knew I’d remember his voice if I heard it again. Who then? My thoughts drifted quickly. I was struggling to concentrate. The cold and the fear were starting to catch up with me.
He pressed the gun in harder against the side of my face, then — just as suddenly — took it away again. I stayed still, looking down between my legs, thinking it might be a trap. Instead, he reached around and pulled the gag away from my mouth.
‘Make any noise louder than a whisper and my people will be picking bits of your face up off the floor for a week.’
My people. He was in charge.
He tossed the gag past me, and it landed in the snow. I could smell his breath again. ‘Now, I’m going to ask you some questions and you’re going to tell me the truth. Hold anything back, and I will rip out your throat.’
He was close to my ear again.
‘First, what the fuck are you doing here?’
‘Alex,’ I said quietly.
‘Oh, I see.’ A short, aggressive burst of laughter. ‘I’m sure during your cosy little chat with Jade, she must have warned you off this… I’m not sure what you would call it, really. A quest, perhaps.’
He’d spat out the word quest and I could feel his saliva on the side of my face, slowly running down my cheek.
I shrugged.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
I didn’t say anything. Didn’t reply.
‘Huh?’ he said. He was closer now.
I didn’t reply a second time, just looked down between my legs. To my blood in the snow. To my feet, gradually turning blue.
‘You going to answer me, David?’
I let the silence hang.
He didn’t wait long. As I was trying to formulate a plan, he hit me across the back of the head with the butt of the gun. And the white of the snow became the black of unconsciousness.
When I came to, I was somewhere else. It was dark. I could hear the wind but couldn’t feel it. I looked around me. High up, to my left, was a window. Moonlight shone through. I turned my head slightly to the right and, behind me, through the corner of my eye, I could see a doorway. I was inside the factory I had been facing earlier.
It took time for my eyes to adjust to the gloom. When they did, I could see someone sitting with their back to me, on a stairwell towards the end of the room. He was smoking a cigarette. It glowed orange rhythmically. I knew it was a man: broad shoulders, hair closely cropped, a big white hand resting on the step.
‘Are you hard of hearing, David?’ he said.
I remained still.
‘Answer me.’
‘No,’ I replied. I sounded groggy. My lower half was absolutely numb from the cold and the back of my head felt like it was on fire.
‘Good.’
He nodded to himself, took a last drag on the cigarette and flicked it out to the side. It died in the night. He came down the stairwell, his shoes clunking against the metal, and disappeared in the darkness. I could hear him moving, but couldn’t see him. His footsteps became muffled.
I tried to think again where I’d heard the voice before. He spoke differently to the others. More control. More authority.
‘Are you in charge?’ I said.
No reply.
Then, suddenly, he was behind me.
‘What did Jade say to you?’
‘Nothing.’
He sighed. ‘Don’t lie to me.’
‘I’m not.’
He stopped. All I could hear was my own breathing. Then, slowly, from my side, the gun snaked into view.
‘These hurt,’ he said, and shoved it hard up under my chin. My muscles twitched. ‘You’d better start dancing with me, David, or I guarantee I’ll be putting you in the ground next to your wife.’
They knew all about me. They knew my name. They knew about Derryn. There had been a hole in the case and now my life was pouring out of it into someone’s open arms.
‘Jade told me I was in danger.’
‘Well, she was right. Do you know why?’
‘I can guess.’