The “great little bagel place just around the corner” was actually the “adequate little bagel place just around the corner where she ate lunch two or three times a week,” but she found the familiarity comforting. Something like a half-cat, halfrabbit hopped around, unobserved by everyone else, under one of the tables, but she resolutely ignored it.
Wendall carried the bulk of most conversations. He wasn’t a blabbermouth, but if you weren’t feeling up to talking he didn’t mind filling the silence himself. He talked about nothing important. She didn’t hold it against him since most talk was about nothing important. She didn’t have anything worthwhile to discuss either, aside from herent induction into the world of the supernatural, and this was the last thing she wanted to talk about. But there were only so many variations of “Crazy weather we’ve been having lately,” so much shop talk, before she found herself zoning out.
“Anyway,” said Wendall, “how about it?”
“Hmmm.”
“About the movie?” he asked.
It took her a moment to realize that he’d asked her out at some point in the conversation. She was having trouble focusing. The air crackled with a weird electricity.
She forced herself to look into his eyes. Bright, eager eyes above a hopeful smile.
“Uh, Wendall,” she started, “I’m kind of in a bad place.”
All the hope vanished from his face, though he was quick to recover.
“I’m not trying to blow you off,” she said. “I’m not. It’s… just… I’m going through something kind of… complicated right now.”
She wanted to explain it to him, but it was too unbelievable.
A round purple monster waddled into view in the window. It stopped, pressed its face against the glass, and with its three eyes scanned the interior of the bagel place. In a world full of monsters, there was something different about this one. This one put her on edge. More on edge, anyway. And when its gaze settled on her, she was not surprised.
The creature jumped through the window, sending glass shattering in all directions. The other customers screamed. Some froze. Others jumped up in panic. But the monster lumbered with single-minded determination toward Diana. Lunging, the giant hedgehog-like beast prepared to pounce.
Suddenly Vom was there. He hoisted the purple creature into the air and threw it across the room.
“Are you okay?” asked Vom.
“I thought you said you weren’t a puppy.”
“Aren’t you glad I lied?”
Roaring, the hedgehog threw itself into Vom.
Diana, along with half the customers, found herself trapped by the grappling horrors cutting off the exit. She didn’t know what anyone else observed, but she saw a giant hedgehog with a thick, rubbery skin wrestling a fuzzy green puppet. The scene put Diana in mind of a Scooby-Doo episode. Except the villains were exactly what they appeared to be, and people were going to get hurt.
Vom took a bite out of his opponent, inflicting a gushing wound. A purple splotch jumped off the hedgehog’s back and enlarged into a duplicate of the original. The new creature turned and charged at Diana.
Yelping, she threw her hands up to defend herself. A chill ran down her arms, and invisible forces catapulted the monster through the ceiling. She felt a little woozy after te effort. She definitely needed to get the hang of these new superpowers.
The hedgehog spawned two more duplicates. All three piled on Vom.
Wendall took her by the hand and pulled her out the door. Outside the restaurant she stopped him from dragging her any farther. The roars and shrieks coming from within were terrifying and bizarre. The struggle shook the street and cracked the building.
“We have to get out of here,” said Wendall.
It was the smart thing to do, but it felt wrong. She’d left Vom to be mauled to death. Although she wasn’t certain that he could die. He was ancient, and it was hard to imagine that a savage beating could destroy him. But the hedgehog was also some kind of monster, so maybe that was an exception.
She couldn’t do anything about it. Her own magic powers were so new and unfamiliar that she didn’t have the faintest idea how to help Vom, even if she had been sure it was the right thing to do.
A terrific howl rocked the earth. She was knocked off her feet. Dust obscured her vision as Wendall’s shadowy figure offered her a hand. She took it, and a sharp pain ran down her spine.
It wasn’t Wendall. It was the hedgehog. She pulled away, but his grip was unbreakable. He seized her by the throat.
Wendall came out of the dust and threw a sloppy punch that connected with the monster’s shoulder. The monster didn’t move, but it was a noble effort. She’d written off Wendall too soon. At least he’d tried when he could’ve run away. Too bad she was going to die anyway.
Or not. She wasn’t able to breathe but didn’t seem to need to. The monster wasn’t hurting her. It didn’t really seem to want to, either. It threw her down to the ground, and a quizzical expression crossed its face. It was confused, frightened.
Thunder cracked from the restaurant as a hedgehog duplicate smashed through its façade, bounced off the street, and nearly struck Diana and her attacker. Another boom followed as a second hedgehog hurtled outward, digging a trench in the pavement and coming to a stop a few feet to their left.
Vom exited the building through its shattered front door. He made a show of wiping his hands with big grins.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. I think so.” She rubbed her throat. The skin was a little raw, but it wasn’t a serious injury.
The hedgehog tilted its head at a curious angle and stepped toward her.
“It’s okay,” she said in a soothing voice. “Everything will be fine now.”
The beast’s face contorted into a snarl, and it lunged at her. Instincts kicked in. Since flight had failed her, she resorted to fight. Diana unleashed a haymaker under the monster’s chin. Its head exploded in a burst of green and black. The body took several steps backward before collapsing.
“Holy crap,” she said. “I didn’t mean to… it was an accident. I wasn’t trying to—”
“He’s not dead,” said Vom.
Vom picked up the mushy purple body and started to eat it. It was a gruesome show as one unspeakable thing devoured another in the space of a half a minute.
He belched.
“Excuse me.”
The pedestrians stood in shock at what they’d just witnessed. They weren’t ready for a world gone mad filled with horrible monsters and exploding heads.
Several hedgehog beasts waddled beside Vom.
“You didn’t have to hit me so hard,” said one.
“Sorry about that,” replied Diana. Only a moment later she was unsure of why she was apologizing.
“Diana, you know these things?” asked Wendall.
“I can explain,” Diana lied. “It’s not as crazy as it looks.”
No, it was crazier. She couldn’t explain because she didn’t understand much of it herself.
He scrambled away as if she were every bit the horrible beasts beside her.
A whistling sound drew her attention skyward. The hedgehog she’d launched into the atmosphere plummeted downward. Before she could shout a warning it returned to Earth, landing right on Wendall, squashing him into a gooey mess. Or so she assumed. She turned away to avoid seeing all the gory details.
But she couldn’t turn away from the carnage and destruction surrounding her. It was only in comic books that a whole city block could be destroyed without casualties. The ten-story building that housed the bagel shop looked as if it might collapse at any moment.
She was going to be sick.
“What’s with her?” asked a hedgehog beast.
“She’s new to this,” replied Vom.
Vom and the hedgehogs faded away. Diana was still adjusting to this strange perspective on reality, so she wasn’t able to see what happened. She sensed the ripples as the cosmos readjusted itself, but was aware of it only after it was over. She sat in the restored bagel shop. Everything was back to normal, returned to the state just before the monster attack.