“Valhalla. Noon. The wedding of the decade.” I smiled wryly, but none of them smiled back. “All the major players will be there. Show up. Help me.”
Only Tekla’s mouth moved. “No.”
It wasn’t said cruelly. No more animosity in the refusal than if I’d asked her to get me a pint of milk at the store.
“Then just let me pass.”
Nobody moved, and in that frozen moment, I unexpectedly began to feel sorry for them. Sure, I was the weakest, the outcast, the one most likely to be dead by day’s end. But I made my own decisions now, calling and controlling my own shots, and unlike any of them-dependent upon Warren’s whim and “reasons”-I could no longer be used.
Maybe they sensed something of my thoughts, because Tekla and Micah simultaneously stepped aside. Both silenced Kimber’s protesting whine with a sharp look. Felix only watched me.
“We’ll tell Warren,” Tekla said. “Immediately.”
Of course. “Thank you.”
Carlos and I started forward, shifting so we were back-to-back with Buttersnap taking the lead, but Micah veered as well, and shook his head. “Only you.”
I stared up at his looming frame from the distance of only five feet. It felt like miles. “The rogues are not your enemies, Micah.”
The liquid ash below the surface of that first layer of skin wavered as his jaw clenched. “They aren’t allies.”
“They could be.” The plea was in my eyes, if not in my voice.
Tekla cleared her throat. “Not today.”
Glancing from one senior troop member to the other, I decided not to press my luck. Rome, I thought, hadn’t been overthrown in a day. But I stared back into Micah’s kind, destroyed face. “I’m so sorry you’ve been injured, Micah. I’d never wish it for you. And I’m…I’m just sorry.”
Tears must have already been waiting because they spilled over his cheeks in light black streaks. “I’m sorry too.”
And he wasn’t talking about his own pain.
I nodded, then turned back to Carlos. “Wait until they’re gone. Warren will pull them all to come after me. There’s an employee entrance south of the parking garage at Valhalla. I’ll make sure someone knows you’re coming.”
He frowned, not liking it. But I had to go, and even though the rogues were more committee than troop, he still needed to keep their best interests in mind. Finally, he touched my cheek with one hand. The warmth made me realize how cold I’d actually been. “Be careful.”
“You mean the opposite of careful.” Because what I needed to be was effective. I had no idea how those two things could possibly coincide.
“Sí, mon, but be careful doing that.”
I smiled, then turned back to my former troop. “Oh, yeah.” I looked at Tekla, who raised a brow, and I shrugged. “I could use a ride.”
Well, I couldn’t very well walk the sixty-five miles back to the city, could I? I wouldn’t even make it to the wedding in that time-and the cell didn’t have cars. So despite the declaration that they wouldn’t go against Warren’s wishes, Tekla offered to accompany me, and no one dared go against her. Maybe they thought she’d kidnap me and turn me over to Warren as soon as we were out of sight. She easily could, but I didn’t think so. Otherwise she would have grabbed me as soon as I stepped over the boundary. There was something else at play here.
Yet Tekla said nothing as she drove in the waxing light, just sat at the wheel of a stolen truck, as if she wasn’t blowing down the streets like a hurricane. I needed to grab a shower and my bridesmaid dress before the wedding, but despite the speed of the trip, I was actually surprised when Tekla pulled to a stop a block from Xavier’s home, mindful of the mansion’s surveillance cameras.
Facing her as the truck idled, I searched for the woman who’d taught me about Ophiuchus and told me to make a difference. She looked childlike in the cab of the great truck, and had to sit forward on the seat just to touch the pedals.
“You’re choosing a dangerous path, Joanna,” she finally said, staring straight ahead.
I was about to say that it had been chosen for me, but stopped myself. I could have chosen differently a number of times. I could still do so now. Instead I fingered the gem in my pocket, one as warm as the heart in my chest, and shook my head. “I was born to this path.”
She glanced at me sharply, the stare growing long, before she finally nodded.
“You believed in me once, Tekla. You wouldn’t have spent so much time working with me if you didn’t. You wouldn’t have been so hard on me.” I glanced out the windshield. The daylight was now spread around us like a stain. “You believe in me now too. That’s why you drove me today. When you know that Warren will be furious.”
“Warren-”
“Has a reason for everything he does. Blah blah blah.” I jerked my head at her. “What about your reasons?”
She lifted her chin. “They are the same. We work in tandem, always and only for the best of the troop.”
I’d have laughed loud and long at that, but it wasn’t really funny. “And how does allying with Caine fit into that?”
I got a flash of her face inches from my own and wrapped in fury, and then she was facing forward again. It happened so fast I almost missed the movement altogether. Heart skipping, I didn’t dare blink. “Caine is none of your business.”
“Caine did more for me than the troop as a whole. He gave his life to help me.”
“Why do you think I’m here?” she snapped, looking at me again, and I sat back, air whooshing from my chest. Well, that cleared things up a bit. Tekla wasn’t here for me specifically, or to screw over Warren in general. She just didn’t want Caine’s death to mean nothing. But the brittle frown on her face kept me from asking what he’d meant to her.
“Warren’s a control freak with tunnel vision,” I said instead. “He manipulates everyone, especially those in the troop.”
“He’s still our best chance to preserve choice for the mortals in this valley.”
“Well maybe the mortals in this valley deserve better than that.” Maybe I did.
Tekla’s nostrils flared and she straightened, her gaze again straight ahead. “Don’t make him a scapegoat for all your ills, Joanna.”
Now her imperious manner just pissed me off.
“He sent me to Midheaven knowing it would take something from me! I lost vital pieces of myself over there!”
Tekla turned a cold gaze on me. “And who do you think advised him to do that?”
My mouth fell open, but all that escaped was air. I touched the gem in my pocket, trying to center myself.
“I…you wouldn’t…”
She hit the steering wheel so hard the truck rocked. “You’re so sensitive about your parentage and past, so hellbent on making sure we see you for who you are…and that a simple hair color or cosmetic enhancement won’t change that. But you never afford us the same luxury. We are Light. Pure Light. We fight for one thing only, and that’s against the Shadows. Always. Only. Period. We are not gray.”
I nodded, swallowing hard. “And I’ve always been that, haven’t I?”
She frowned, like she had to work to harden herself to me. But her words said differently. “It is in the stars.”
These people and their fucking stars.
“Thanks for the ride, Tekla.” I got out of the truck and slammed the door shut.
She rolled down the window as she pulled from the curb. “Good luck.”
But she wasn’t saying it for me. She was saying it because it would benefit her troop, her cause.
I thought of dream-Olivia saying Tekla was one of the people most directly influencing me now. I guess my TRex brain had known it all along.
You’re not the only one doing the best you can to survive in a hard world.
“No, bitch,” I answered the dream Seer as I began to walk. “But I’m doing better than you.”