Pyetr had never asked anything of him that way. Sasha did not want to talk about it, he did not want to discuss the matter with Pyetr and if Eveshka was in danger, he certainly did not want to let Pyetr make choices he did not understand.
But it would not really matter to Pyetr. Not where Eveshka was concerned. And not, he was sure, if he were the one in trouble.
“He’s saying,” Sasha replied in an almost whisper, “that whatever’s caused this is magical; and it’s not friendly to him. Whether that’s true I don’t know. He says if he uses his magic something can find him by it—that’s something I don’t know and his book doesn’t tell me. But he’s arguing that it might be using Uulamets and it might be after ’Veshka—”
“God.” Pyetr’s lips hardly moved.
“Pyetr, I don’t know. What he’s saying—is if magic gets a wizard in its hands, instead of the other way around, then it can do things in the natural world it can’t do otherwise. He says that’s what it’s after, that if it gets him—it’s got a way to get at the rest of us.”
“ Where do I come in?”
“He wants to put his heart in your keeping. He wants to work magic again.”
“He’s crazed!”
“I don’t think he’s crazy, but I certainly don’t think he’s our friend. I can’t tell how much truth he’s telling. His book doesn’t give me any help. I don’t know magic, not—not the way he does. Even Uulamets didn’t.”
Pyetr bit his lip. “Your magic, his magic—it doesn’t make a lot of sense, you know.”
“ Every wizard works a certain sort of magic. A wizard’s born with it. But whatever you were born with, you just—don’t use us well when you grow up. Or you do it knowing more, and then it’s harder to know exactly what you want.”
“And he does? —He’s not that smart, Sasha, heart or no heart, he’s not that damn smart. Look at the mess he’s in.”
“That vodka jug… Uulamets said you only work a spell like the jug just once or twice in your whole life—and it is real magic, what I did. It’s not natural and maybe in most points it’s the same as sorcery. But I can’t do it twice. Uulamets is right— you grow up and you see how complicated things are and you’re not sure what’s right… “
“Wizards have a bad habit of that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sasha, —just give me one plain answer. What’s this hearts business, what does he want to do?”
“What he did with Owl. I don’t know what that would do to you.”
“Or what he’d try to do. If he thought I could hold on to him he damn sure wouldn’t be offering.”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure—” He caught himself doing it again and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Pyetr. — God!”
“I don’t understand this, I don’t damn well understand this. Magic that isn’t magic—”
“I do use magic, Pyetr, it’s just not— magic, the way he does.”
Pyetr gave him a straight, bewildered stare.
Sasha said, helplessly, “We know what we mean.”
“Good.”
“I use what I was born with. I move pebbles—just the tiniest bit of magic. It’s mine. He wishes for more than he was born with, that’s what the difference is. He doesn’t bother with pebbles, he just wants a whole hillside to come down—and it will. He doesn’t care about consequences, either—because magic can keep them away from him, never mind the rest of the world.”
“Ham-handed, you mean.”
“It is, essentially. It certainly could be that—if he was stupid. But he grew up as a wizard. He can do the little things and the big ones. Like me stealing from the trees—only he can steal it from that place Babi comes from.”
“Is that why Babi’s staying clear of him?”
“Maybe. I don’t know what he can do, I don’t know what the rules are in that place. Uulamets said it was the worst mistake a wizard could make, to wish for more magic than he has. I think he was right, but—” There was a place in his reasoning that gaped dark and deep, that said—maybe. And he looked Pyetr in the eye, thinking that, in case things went very wrong, Pyetr should not be unwarned. “I don’t know. I don’t know that Uulamets knew. I’ve been thinking maybe I could do it better-maybe I could do the same thing, and do it the right way. Maybe I’m making a terrible mistake not to do it and just—take care of things…”
Pyetr said, with a deep frown, “Sasha, —”
“I’m scared to do it. And you’re right, Babi’s hiding. I don’t know whether he’s hiding from him—or from me.”
“Sasha, —maybe this one time you’d better listen to Uulamets.”
“Uulamets could have been wrong, you know. He could just have been scared—the way I’m scared.”
“He could have been right. I never thought I’d argue his side, but for the god’s sake, Sasha, —”
“I’m scared of it. That doesn’t make it wrong.”
“Then any wizard could do it. Any wizard could—and Chernevog’s the only one that did. Which is no damn good recommendation, is it?”
“Uulamets did say one thing about magic. He said that motives somehow do make a difference.”
“Uulamets is dead. That’s not a recommendation either.”
“Maybe he wasn’t as strong as Chernevog. Maybe Chernevog isn’t as strong as he was, either. I’m not saying I’m thinking of doing it. I’m saying—whatever it costs—if he starts to get away from me, if we’ve no other choice, it could be the only thing I can do to hold him. If it happens—if he does something and that’s all I can do—I want you to understand what’s happening. I want you to get clear of it, find Babi—I think Babi would come to you. Not to me right now. Just for the god’s sake don’t hang around.”
Pyetr drew a breath. A second one. He was disturbed, Sasha knew that. Finally Pyetr said, “Maybe this time we’d better wait to ask Uulamets. That was what the leshys said. They didn’t say make yourself another Chernevog. Did they? That’s not what you’re supposed to do, is it?”
Pyetr had a knack for cutting through confusion. Pyetr was not always right, but Pyetr had a way of getting back to solid ground.
“No,” he was relieved to say. “No, they didn’t say that.”
“He wants us to do something stupid. You know that. It’s him, dammit, it’s him.” Pyetr pressed his shoulder, a hard, bruising grip. “Just don’t listen. And be careful with the old man too! I don’t trust either one of them.”
“I’m trying not to. I wish I knew what’s right. I wish to the god I knew. I keep thinking we shouldn’t listen to him—but then he says things that make sense.”
“Good liars are like that. You should have known Dmitri.”
“Things ought to be clearer, Pyetr.”
Pyetr said, “Not when he doesn’t want that.”
“I’m scared! I don’t know about my choices. I don’t know I’m right!”
“Hell. So we could lose. Make a choice. Any choice. Better your dice than his. Just watch for switches.”
He drew a breath, let it go again. “We can’t be that much further from the house. I think I know where the bridge brought us. I think this is the same stream.”
“I’ve had that idea.”
“—But I don’t know that Uulamets knew any answers. Pyetr, he left me everything he could, and I don’t know that he was right about magic, I don’t know that this is the answer. The leshys don’t understand wizards…”
“Listen.” Pyetr’s fingers bit into his shoulder. “He may not have been right about anything, but let’s not believe this fellow, either, not more than once a day and then only if he agrees with us. Just don’t think about doubts, you know where they’re coming from.”