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Tuesday, August 14th, 2012

Childhood. Boyhood. Youth

Childhood. Boyhood. Youth

By Leo Tolstoy

Translated by C.J. Hogarth

I -- THE TUTOR, KARL IVANITCH

On the 12th of August, 18-- (just three days after my tenth birthday,

when I had been given such wonderful presents), I was awakened at seven

o'clock in the morning by Karl Ivanitch slapping the wall close to my

head with a fly-flap made of sugar paper and a stick. He did this so

roughly that he hit the image of my patron saint suspended to the oaken

back of my bed, and the dead fly fell down on my curls. I peeped out

from under the coverlet, steadied the still shaking image with my hand,

flicked the dead fly on to the floor, and gazed at Karl Ivanitch with

sleepy, wrathful eyes. He, in a parti-coloured wadded dressing-gown

fastened about the waist with a wide belt of the same material, a red

knitted cap adorned with a tassel, and soft slippers of goat skin, went

on walking round the walls and taking aim at, and slapping, flies.

"Suppose," I thought to myself, "that I am only a small boy, yet why

should he disturb me? Why does he not go killing flies around Woloda's

bed? No; Woloda is older than I, and I am the youngest of the family, so

he torments me. That is what he thinks of all day long--how to tease

me. He knows very well that he has woken me up and frightened me, but he

pretends not to notice it. Disgusting brute! And his dressing-gown and

cap and tassel too--they are all of them disgusting."

While I was thus inwardly venting my wrath upon Karl Ivanitch, he had

passed to his own bedstead, looked at his watch (which hung suspended in

a little shoe sewn with bugles), and deposited the fly-flap on a nail,

then, evidently in the most cheerful mood possible, he turned round to

us.

"Get up, children! It is quite time, and your mother is already in the

drawing-room," he exclaimed in his strong German accent. Then he crossed

over to me, sat down at my feet, and took his snuff-box out of his

pocket. I pretended to be asleep. Karl Ivanitch sneezed, wiped his

nose, flicked his fingers, and began amusing himself by teasing me and

tickling my toes as he said with a smile, "Well, well, little lazy one!"

For all my dread of being tickled, I determined not to get out of bed

or to answer him, but hid my head deeper in the pillow, kicked out with

all my strength, and strained every nerve to keep from laughing.

"How kind he is, and how fond of us!" I thought to myself. "Yet to think

that I could be hating him so just now!"

I felt angry, both with myself and with Karl Ivanitch, I wanted to laugh

and to cry at the same time, for my nerves were all on edge.

"Leave me alone, Karl!" I exclaimed at length, with tears in my eyes, as

I raised my head from beneath the bed-clothes.

Karl Ivanitch was taken aback. He left off tickling my feet, and asked

me kindly what the matter was. Had I had a disagreeable dream? His good

German face and the sympathy with which he sought to know the cause

of my tears made them flow the faster. I felt conscience-stricken, and

could not understand how, only a minute ago, I had been hating Karl,

and thinking his dressing-gown and cap and tassel disgusting. On the

contrary, they looked eminently lovable now. Even the tassel seemed

another token of his goodness. I replied that I was crying because I had

had a bad dream, and had seen Mamma dead and being buried. Of course it

was a mere invention, since I did not remember having dreamt anything

at all that night, but the truth was that Karl's sympathy as he tried to

comfort and reassure me had gradually made me believe that I HAD dreamt

such a horrible dream, and so weep the more--though from a different

cause to the one he imagined.

When Karl Ivanitch had left me, I sat up in bed and proceeded to draw

my stockings over my little feet. The tears had quite dried now, yet the

mournful thought of the invented dream was still haunting me a little.

Presently Uncle [This term is often applied by children to old servants

in Russia] Nicola came in--a neat little man who was always grave,

methodical, and respectful, as well as a great friend of Karl's. He

brought with him our clothes and boots--at least, boots for Woloda, and

for myself the old detestable, be-ribanded shoes. In his presence I

felt ashamed to cry, and, moreover, the morning sun was shining so gaily

through the window, and Woloda, standing at the washstand as he mimicked

Maria Ivanovna (my sister's governess), was laughing so loud and so

long, that even the serious Nicola--a towel over his shoulder, the soap

in one hand, and the basin in the other--could not help smiling as he

said, "Will you please let me wash you, Vladimir Petrovitch?" I had

cheered up completely.

"Are you nearly ready?" came Karl's voice from the schoolroom. The tone

of that voice sounded stern now, and had nothing in it of the kindness

which had just touched me so much. In fact, in the schoolroom Karl was

altogether a different man from what he was at other times. There he was

the tutor. I washed and dressed myself hurriedly, and, a brush still

in my hand as I smoothed my wet hair, answered to his call. Karl,

with spectacles on nose and a book in his hand, was sitting, as usual,

between the door and one of the windows. To the left of the door were

two shelves--one of them the children's (that is to say, ours), and the

other one Karl's own. Upon ours were heaped all sorts of books--lesson

books and play books--some standing up and some lying down. The only

two standing decorously against the wall were two large volumes of a

Histoire des Voyages, in red binding. On that shelf could be seen books

thick and thin and books large and small, as well as covers without

books and books without covers, since everything got crammed up together

anyhow when play time arrived and we were told to put the "library" (as

Karl called these shelves) in order. The collection of books on his own

shelf was, if not so numerous as ours, at least more varied. Three of

them in particular I remember, namely, a German pamphlet (minus a cover)

on Manuring Cabbages in Kitchen-Gardens, a History of the Seven Years'

War (bound in parchment and burnt at one corner), and a Course of

Hydrostatics. Though Karl passed so much of his time in reading that he

had injured his sight by doing so, he never read anything beyond these

books and The Northern Bee.

Another article on Karl's shelf I remember well. This was a round piece

of cardboard fastened by a screw to a wooden stand, with a sort of comic

picture of a lady and a hairdresser glued to the cardboard. Karl was

very clever at fixing pieces of cardboard together, and had devised this

contrivance for shielding his weak eyes from any very strong light.

I can see him before me now--the tall figure in its wadded dressing-gown

and red cap (a few grey hairs visible beneath the latter) sitting beside

the table; the screen with the hairdresser shading his face; one hand

holding a book, and the other one resting on the arm of the chair.

Before him lie his watch, with a huntsman painted on the dial, a

check cotton handkerchief, a round black snuff-box, and a green

spectacle-case. The neatness and orderliness of all these articles show