"Very well," I said. "I have no partner as yet, but I can soon find
one."
Glancing round the salon with a confident eye, I saw that every lady was
engaged save one--a tall girl standing near the drawing-room door. Yet a
grown-up young man was approaching her-probably for the same purpose as
myself! He was but two steps from her, while I was at the further end
of the salon. Doing a glissade over the polished floor, I covered the
intervening space, and in a brave, firm voice asked the favour of her
hand in the quadrille. Smiling with a protecting air, the young lady
accorded me her hand, and the tall young man was left without a partner.
I felt so conscious of my strength that I paid no attention to his
irritation, though I learnt later that he had asked somebody who the
awkward, untidy boy was who, had taken away his lady from him.
XXII -- THE MAZURKA
AFTERWARDS the same young man formed one of the first couple in a
mazurka. He sprang to his feet, took his partner's hand, and then,
instead of executing the pas de Basques which Mimi had taught us, glided
forward till he arrived at a corner of the room, stopped, divided his
feet, turned on his heels, and, with a spring, glided back again. I, who
had found no partner for this particular dance and was sitting on the
arm of Grandmamma's chair, thought to myself:
"What on earth is he doing? That is not what Mimi taught us. And there
are the Iwins and Etienne all dancing in the same way-without the pas de
Basques! Ah! and there is Woloda too! He too is adopting the new style,
and not so badly either. And there is Sonetchka, the lovely one! Yes,
there she comes!" I felt immensely happy at that moment.
The mazurka came to an end, and already some of the guests were saying
good-bye to Grandmamma. She was evidently tired, yet she assured them
that she felt vexed at their early departure. Servants were gliding
about with plates and trays among the dancers, and the musicians were
carelessly playing the same tune for about the thirteenth time in
succession, when the young lady whom I had danced with before, and who
was just about to join in another mazurka, caught sight of me, and, with
a kindly smile, led me to Sonetchka. And one of the innumerable Kornakoff
princesses, at the same time asking me, "Rose or Hortie?"
"Ah, so it's YOU!" said Grandmamma as she turned round in her armchair.
"Go and dance, then, my boy."
Although I would fain have taken refuge behind the armchair rather than
leave its shelter, I could not refuse; so I got up, said, "Rose," and
looked at Sonetchka. Before I had time to realise it, however, a hand in
a white glove laid itself on mine, and the Kornakoff girl stepped forth
with a pleased smile and evidently no suspicion that I was ignorant of
the steps of the dance. I only knew that the pas de Basques (the only
figure of it which I had been taught) would be out of place. However,
the strains of the mazurka falling upon my ears, and imparting their
usual impulse to my acoustic nerves (which, in their turn, imparted
their usual impulse to my feet), I involuntarily, and to the amazement
of the spectators, began executing on tiptoe the sole (and fatal) pas
which I had been taught.
So long as we went straight ahead I kept fairly right, but when it came
to turning I saw that I must make preparations to arrest my course.
Accordingly, to avoid any appearance of awkwardness, I stopped short,
with the intention of imitating the "wheel about" which I had seen the
young man perform so neatly.
Unfortunately, just as I divided my feet and prepared to make a spring,
the Princess Kornakoff looked sharply round at my legs with such an
expression of stupefied amazement and curiosity that the glance undid
me. Instead of continuing to dance, I remained moving my legs up and
down on the same spot, in a sort of extraordinary fashion which bore
no relation whatever either to form or rhythm. At last I stopped
altogether. Every-one was looking at me--some with curiosity, some with
astonishment, some with disdain, and some with compassion, Grandmamma
alone seemed unmoved.
"You should not dance if you don't know the step," said Papa's angry
voice in my ear as, pushing me gently aside, he took my partner's hand,
completed the figures with her to the admiration of every one, and
finally led her back to, her place. The mazurka was at an end.
Ah me! What had I done to be punished so heavily?
*****
"Every one despises me, and will always despise me," I thought to
myself. "The way is closed for me to friendship, love, and fame! All,
all is lost!"
Why had Woloda made signs to me which every one saw, yet which could in
no way help me? Why had that disgusting princess looked at my legs? Why
had Sonetchka--she was a darling, of course!--yet why, oh why, had she
smiled at that moment?
Why had Papa turned red and taken my hand? Can it be that he was ashamed
of me?
Oh, it was dreadful! Alas, if only Mamma had been there she would never
have blushed for her Nicolinka!
How on the instant that dear image led my imagination captive! I seemed
to see once more the meadow before our house, the tall lime-trees in the
garden, the clear pond where the ducks swain, the blue sky dappled with
white clouds, the sweet-smelling ricks of hay. How those memories--aye,
and many another quiet, beloved recollection--floated through my mind at
that time!
XXIII -- AFTER THE MAZURKA
At supper the young man whom I have mentioned seated himself beside
me at the children's table, and treated me with an amount of attention
which would have flattered my self-esteem had I been able, after the
occurrence just related, to give a thought to anything beyond my failure
in the mazurka. However, the young man seemed determined to cheer me
up. He jested, called me "old boy," and finally (since none of the
elder folks were looking at us) began to help me to wine, first from one
bottle and then from another and to force me to drink it off quickly.
By the time (towards the end of supper) that a servant had poured me out
a quarter of a glass of champagne, and the young man had straightway bid
him fill it up and urged me to drink the beverage off at a draught, I
had begun to feel a grateful warmth diffusing itself through my body.
I also felt well-disposed towards my kind patron, and began to laugh
heartily at everything. Suddenly the music of the Grosvater dance struck
up, and every one rushed from the table. My friendship with the young
man had now outlived its day; so, whereas he joined a group of the older
folks, I approached Madame Valakhin to hear what she and her daughter had
to say to one another.
"Just HALF-an-hour more?" Sonetchka was imploring her.
"Impossible, my dearest."
"Yet, only to please me--just this ONCE?" Sonetchka went on
persuasively.
"Well, what if I should be ill to-morrow through all this dissipation?"
rejoined her mother, and was incautious enough to smile.
"There! You DO consent, and we CAN stay after all!" exclaimed Sonetchka,
jumping for joy.
"What is to be done with such a girl?" said Madame. "Well, run away and