“This thing termed price,” said Rilas very softly, her hand to my hair. “This is a male thing, is it not? Somewhat like trade, a value for a value? You received the life of the male—and gave what in return?”
Nearly did I sob, so deeply was I touched by the memory of what had been done to me. I sat cross-legged upon the leather, head bowed. Sigurr, thrice-damned, putrid god of males, bringer of agony, bottomless evil, defiler of life.
“He touched my soul and withered it,” I choked, nearly unable to speak of it. “Never have I been used so foully, so—Rilas, I am forevermore marked as his, forever ruined for the pleasures all warriors know. I shall never be the same.”
“In time, Mida heals all painful memories,” Rilas soothed, her hand yet astroke upon my hair. “The male whose life is now yours—is it your intention to seek him out?”
“I do not wish his life,” I said wearily. “Nor do I wish to see him ever again. I shall never be a part of the life which is his, nor is he able to be a part of mine. He is a leader among his males, and I—I must be a leader among Midanna. It is this which Mida wishes, to give her the city beyond the hills.”
“We are to take the city?” Rilas breathed, a great gladness in her tone. “This was told to you by Mida? Speak of her domain, Jalav, tell me of the wonders shown you.”
I raised my head to see the glow in her eyes, the need to believe that I had indeed seen that which I had spoken of. Rilas would have preferred remaining unbiased in the matter, yet where Mida is concerned, how might a Keeper remain unbiased? Briefly I considered speaking of my thoughts upon Mida’s domain, yet the consideration was idle. Had I not yet been shown the truth of the matter, I, too, would have failed to believe.
“There are a few wonders in Mida’s earthly domain, Rilas.” I shrugged, forgoing any further indulgence in self-pity. What was, was, and might not in future be undone. “Mida keeps those called Midanna by her, yet not Midanna such as we know. They have no enemies within the caverns which are their dwelling place save for Sigurr’s males, and these males they are forbidden to raise sword to. Instead, they use sword and shield upon each other in mock battle, a thing which makes them unfit to face even our youngest warriors. Pets, Mida termed them, and pets they are, much in awe of a true warrior. They strut well and boast well—and use males with true eagerness—yet they cannot stand toe to toe with a warrior.”
“These—pets—have males for use?” Rilas frowned, displeased to a great degree. No Midanna warrior is permitted the use of a male till she has proven herself in battle. That Mida allowed unproven warriors males was a disturbing note in a tale of wonder.
“They have slaves and captives,” I nodded, speaking no more than the truth. “The slaves are at the disposal of all, to be used when need comes upon them. These males are a sorry lot, well made yet spiritless and empty within. The captives are what travelers are taken, such as the males of the set with which I had traveled.” I smiled faintly, recalling the difficulty the so-called warriors had had with those captives. “The males were not pleased, nor of a mind to assist in their use. Without recourse to the sthuvad drug, which Mida refused them, they found it necessary to beg Mida’s aid before the males might be used.”
Rilas snorted in derision, handed me my pot of daru, then drained her own. Well did I recall the dismay of the child-females in Mida’s domain when the males had refused to provide them with sport. Much had they strutted and pranced and boasted of their prowess with blades, ranging themselves before the naked males, who had been taken to a large chamber and chained by the neck to the wall. All the males had been taken there save Ceralt, who remained too deeply wounded to be used. The males looked upon those females who postured before them, sent brief glances toward me where I stood by the chamber’s entrance, then proceeded to laugh at wenches who presumed to call themselves warriors. Mida’s pets grew furious at such ridicule, yet there was little they might do save slay the males. They had no knowledge of rousing a male save through use of the sthuvad drug, and quickly found that the threat of death brings yielding upon a female sooner than upon a male. Should the male truly be in fear of his life, he will most often be rendered entirely incapable of performance. Throughout the exchange, I found it most difficult to remain sober-faced, and then, when the females were most filled with frustration and venom, the golden mists gathered and Mida appeared. Truly did she seem a goddess in her loveliness, her light, gentle laughter an added spur to the fury of her females. Again they begged for the use of the sthuvad drug, and again Mida denied them, yet the males were not to continue in their amusement. To each of the males did Mida point, one by one, and one by one were they forced to their backs as though chained, their desire touched and quickly begun. Before no more than a hand of reckid, each male twisted upon the floor of the chamber, as furious as the females had been, as prepared for the taking as helpless children. Quickly then did Mida’s wenches fall upon them, to use them slowly or quickly, to toy with their need or deny them altogether, to do them as they had thought only they might do females. I watched till Telion and Lialt, in mid-curse, were taken together, then did I turn and leave the chamber, oddly contented. Telion and Lialt had used me as they pleased, yet now had they been put to use, as humiliatingly as had I. The experience would do naught for them, for they would remain convinced of their right till life left them, yet had the experience been given them. Perhaps, in the telling of it, other males, possessed of more reason, would see what they did not.
“The caverns of the domain are vast indeed,” I continued, watching Rilas rise to refill her pot and then seat herself again before me. “The males of the caverns, Sigurr’s males, have a great deal more battle experience than the females, for it is they who challenge intruders. The caverns of the males are somewhat removed from those of Mida’s pets, for the two groups view each other with naught save hostility. Before I was given leave to take to the trail, I was made to face one of these males at Sigurr’s request.”
“It is best to remain at a distance from free males,” Rilas observed, nodding in approval. “This male you were made to face—was there difficulty from the others when you slew him?”
“I was not permitted to slay him,” I informed her, again feeling annoyance at the thing. “The male was Sigurr’s, therefore in the dark god’s province, save should he transgress upon that which is Mida’s. My sword found the heart within him, yet Sigurr restored his life before the blade had been withdrawn. His strength to face me was no more, yet his life had been returned to him. ”
“Mida!” Rilas muttered, her eyes widened more than I had ever before seen them. “Truly this male god has been given powers to rival Mida’s. Does she propose to allow the thing to continue?”
Briefly I hesitated, for I knew not how the query might best be answered. Rilas had not stood in my steps, nor seen what I had seen.
“Mida is—in contest—with Sigurr,” I stumbled, well aware of Rilas’ gaze sharp upon me. “Sigurr proposes that I raise his legions, the Sigurri, to battle beside our Midanna against the coming strangers, thinking that his Sigurri will best us once the greater battle is done. Mida wishes me to raise his legions as he asks, yet we are to destroy them instead when the strangers have been seen to. This, I assured her, would be done with ease.”
“Indeed,” nodded Rilas with a gesture of contempt. “These presumptuous males will not stand long before our warriors. Have you been told the whereabouts of these Sigurri?”