But the person I’d been pretending to be wouldn’t have gotten two innocent kids killed . . .
Lost in my own thoughts, I didn’t notice Luna’s approach until I heard her footsteps echoing down the corridor. “Hey,” she said as she walked in, then pulled out a chair and dropped into it. “They’re still arguing.”
“Yeah, that figures.” I pulled myself upright and looked at Luna. “Still want to be my apprentice?”
Luna looked at me in surprise. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because of what I told you out there.”
“Oh.” Luna shrugged. “I’d guessed most of that already.”
I stared at her.
“Okay, I didn’t know the details,” Luna said. “But I knew you used to be a Dark mage. There was going to be something.”
“What about Catherine?”
Luna shrugged again. “You’ve kind of got a thing about people coming to you for help. Especially if they’re young. I figured it had to be something like that.”
I looked at Luna’s face, frank and straightforward, and had to laugh. All this time I’d been trying to keep it hidden and she’d known all along. I spend so much time finding out other people’s secrets, and somehow it had never occurred to me that someone else could do the same to me. “It doesn’t bother you?” I said once I’d caught my breath. “Having a master who was trained as a Dark mage?”
“I don’t care,” Luna said. I stopped laughing to see that she was looking at me steadily. “I go to classes and matches and I hear everyone talking about Dark and Light, and they all seem to think that the faction you’re part of is the most important thing in the world. Well, I don’t like either of them. Neither of them are ever going to want me, because I’m not a mage. They don’t care about me. Why should I care about them?”
I fell silent. “It’s not that simple,” I said at last. “I know you’ve got reason not to like either faction. But they are different, and I shouldn’t have joined up with Richard the way I did.”
Luna gave me a puzzled look. “If you don’t like Dark mages, why did you join Richard in the first place?”
I sighed. “Short answer? Because I hated pretty much everyone. I felt like the world had treated me like crap, and this was my chance to turn it around. No one had ever cared about me, so why should I care about anyone else? When you spend all your time lonely and miserable, it’s really easy to start hating everyone who has what you don’t.” I glanced at Luna. “You understand that, don’t you?”
Luna’s eyes went distant, and she nodded. We sat in silence for a little while. “Why did you change your mind?” Luna said quietly.
“Because of Catherine and that boy,” I said. “I guess . . . The way I’d always justified it to myself was that the rest of the world had started it. But those two hadn’t done anything to me. So I tried to fix it. And I failed.”
Luna sat without speaking and I wondered what she was thinking about. It was a relief when I heard footsteps and Anne and Variam arrived. I looked between them, then down the tunnel. “Sonder?” I said.
“He had to leave,” Anne said. There was a slight distance in her manner, but at least she didn’t flinch when I looked at her.
“He’s still choking on the whole ex–Dark mage thing,” Variam said. “He said he’d call.”
It wasn’t really a surprise. Sonder had always been the idealistic one, and I had the feeling it was going to take a while for him to get used to this . . . if he ever did. I glanced at Variam. “How about you?”
“I figure we owe you,” Variam said.
“I don’t want you to get involved in this because you feel you have to.”
“Yeah, well, that’s my call, right?” Variam shrugged. “You’re about the only mage who’s ever stuck around to help us out. I’m not leaving because of some old grudge.”
I didn’t say anything but I gave Variam a nod, and he gave me one back. I looked at Anne, who answered in her soft voice. “I’m not blaming Sonder for leaving,” she said, and again there was that trace of remoteness that hadn’t been there before. “But . . . what’s done is done. I don’t want anyone else to die.” Her eyes held mine and there was a question there.
“Neither do I,” I said, and I felt Anne relax slightly.
“Okay,” Luna said, raising a hand. “Not to point out the obvious, but they seem just fine with someone dying, as long as it’s you.”
“Is there any way to talk to them?” Anne asked.
“Yeah, I got a close look at these guys,” Luna said. “They really didn’t seem in a talking mood.”
“How many of ’em are there, and what can they do?” Variam said.
“Six that I saw,” I said. “At least three are magic-users, probably adepts. Will can accelerate himself, the girl throws ground fire, and the tall one’s a life-drinker. I caught a whiff of space magic too.”
“Only four of them were fighting though,” Luna said.
“That we saw,” I said. “If they can put together an attack team of six, they’ve probably got others.”
“If their group’s that big, they’re going to have trouble hiding,” Variam said with a frown. “There should be some way to track them down.”
“But if you go following them it’ll just lead to another fight,” Anne said.
“You got any better ideas?”
“There has to be some way to get them to listen,” Anne said. “Otherwise it’ll turn into a battle, and the longer that goes on the harder it’ll be to stop.”
“Can you think of anything?” I said. “Because Luna’s right—they really didn’t seem interested in talking things out.”
Anne bit her lip, thinking. “Could we try the Council?” Luna asked. “What about Talisid?”
“He’s still in Russia from that business last month, and I can’t think of any other Council mages I’d trust with this.”
“What about Caldera?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, Caldera was asking about Richard,” Luna said. “Then the same day, these guys go after you. It’s probably not a coincidence, right?”
I thought about it. “Caldera was looking into rumours of Richard coming back,” I said. “Maybe those same rumours are the reason Will’s group made their move now.”
“If she’s a Keeper, she’d know more about these guys, wouldn’t she?” Luna said.
“More bloody Keepers,” Variam muttered.
“What happened to Catherine?” Anne asked.
Luna and Variam looked at Anne in surprise. “You mean back then?” I said. “She was alive when I escaped. Beyond that . . . I don’t know.”
“Maybe she’s still alive,” Anne said.
“Didn’t Will tell Alex she was dead?” Luna asked.
“But he also thought Alex killed her,” Anne said. “If he was wrong about that, maybe he’s wrong about her being dead too.”
I sighed. “I’d like to believe it, but . . . I don’t know. Odds aren’t good.”
“It’s possible though, isn’t it?” Anne said. “And if she is alive, you could find her.”
“I guess,” I said reluctantly. “But Anne, it was ten years ago. It’s one hell of a cold trail.”
“But think about what would happen if you did,” Anne said. “It would take away this boy’s reason to go after you, wouldn’t it?” She looked at me. “You said you wanted a way to deal with these adepts without having to fight them. Even if you can’t find Catherine, you might turn up something that helps.”
Variam and Luna looked at each other, then at me. “I guess it’s worth a try,” Variam said unwillingly.
“Where would you look, though?” Luna asked.
“It’s not where.” My heart sank as I said it. “It’s who. There’s only one person who’d know.”
We spoke for another hour before breaking up for the evening. I wanted to go home, but Anne flatly refused to let me out of Arachne’s lair until I’d had a full day’s rest, and I gave in. Anne stayed to keep an eye on me, Luna stayed to keep Anne company, and in the end we all spent the night there. Before going to sleep I made two calls and left two messages: one to the number Caldera had left me, and one to an unnamed number that cut in to a voice mail service. “It’s Alex,” I said into the phone. “We need to meet. Call me back.” I hung up and walked back down the tunnel. The day had tired me more than I’d realised, and as soon as I lay down I fell into a dreamless sleep.