She put a paw to her mouth, horrified.
“You didn’t know why I ran away, did you Sassie. I ran away to blot you out forever. I thought you were worth a little plunge off a cliff. Now at least I know why I didn’t.” He nodded to himself. “Some higher power spared me so I could learn you weren’t worth it.”
She cuffed him across the face. “Get out! ”
He turned and walked off. Taka often went out alone, and no one in the pride knew where. He took a haunch from a zebra and headed off toward the elephant graveyard.
Fabana the hyena was waiting for him. She had a sense about these things.
“Fay, it’s good to see you again.”
“What is it this time, Scar?”
“She has the light in her eyes. His child.” He didn’t have to fill in more details, for she heard from him regularly.
The pups were older, and they recognized him. “What’cha got today, Uncle Scar?”
“Zebra. Do you like that, Banzai?”
“It’s my favorite! ”
“Food is his favorite diet, ” Fabana said, as the pups began to tug over favorite scraps. “There is good in you, Scar. You are a true son of Roh’kash.”
“Roh’kash?”
She looked surprised. “Didn’t your mother teach you about the Creator?”
“Oh, you mean Aiheu.”
She smiled indulgently. “Perhaps.”
“Tell me, Fay. Why do the gods let a foolish curse uttered by a shaman slowly eat away everything I cared for? I mean, doesn’t Aiheu—or Roh’kash—whatever—have power over an evil spirit? I find my one path to possible fame and glory blocked by a little furball—and just you wait, it will be male, for it seems the gods have turned their back on me.”
“Don’t say that in front of my pups, ” she said. “It is wicked to speak ill of the gods, even if you are a heathen.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. It just feels that way sometimes.”
“Perhaps you should pray about it. I think God hears all prayers, no matter the name.”
“And you think I haven’t? For about two moons, I was practically a shaman.” He raised an eyebrow. “Tell me, Fay. This Roh’kash of yours. Does he tell us to forgive our enemies, or does he give us power to conquer them?”
“What a foolish question! God is just. He will smite those who harm his children. You are made in his image, therefore if you would be just, you must destroy injustice.”
He smiled. “So that is it.” He pondered the enormity of that statement. “Poor fool that I am. All this time God has stood ready to help me, but I have turned away his gifts one by one! You must teach me more about Roh’kash--he could really be a friend of mine. And in the meanwhile I must stop reacting and start acting. Get me an audience with your leaders, my dear. If God is on our side, who will dare oppose us?”
SCENE: THE ULTIMATUM
For a while, Taka stopped his self-pitying behavior. Ironically, it was not a welcome change, for Taka’s helplessness was his one endearing quality to most of the lionesses. With his secret new faith, he needed no pity, nor did he inspire it. He swaggered about aggressively, the most devout believer in his own great destiny.
Mufasa carried himself with a certain dignity. He never begged nor pleaded, yet he got everything he wanted. Perhaps that is what Sarabi liked in him. Perhaps she liked a firm paw and a touch of mischief.
Taka went to the cistern in Pride Rock where the rain would collect in pools. He sought to satisfy at least one of his thirsts before the day was over. The small fish seemed to taunt him, swimming about slowly as he looked down into the crystal recesses of the stone. His steady lapping set up rings that spread across the surface, breaking up his reflection. Still, he could see another tawny feature coming up beside him. Even before he looked up, he knew his timing was excellent.
“The water is fresh as a spring rain, Sarabi.”
“Taka, it’s you.”
He looked up and smiled warmly. “Aren’t you looking beautiful today.”
“Well, uh, thank you.”
He looked back down and resumed drinking. She joined him in a moment when it was obvious he was not about to leave. From time to time he looked over at her, then he finally stopped drinking and wiped his muzzle with a large paw. “I was just thinking about the old times. You were always so protective of me. It used to make Muffy so angry when you’d fawn over me. I didn’t know how fond he was of you. If I had, I wouldn’t have taken you for granted. I would have been better to you.”
“Well that’s in the past now.”
“Is it?” He smiled disarmingly. “I still make you feel uncomfortable. I miss having you look in my eyes without feeling like something bad is going to happen. You have beautiful eyes. God, how I miss them.” He cast his glance away. “Now we almost never talk, and you’d always rather be someplace else doing anything else. Sassie, I miss you. You are my milk sister. I’d just want to know that you still like me.”
“Of course I still like you. If you’d behave yourself, I wouldn’t be afraid to show it.”
“Afraid??” Taka caught himself, laughed self-consciously, and said, “Why my dear Sassie, there is not a lion worthy of the name that could look at you and not feel his heart race a little. That’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s just that your eyes are fresh flowers wet with morning dew. When I see them, they make me happy. I love the way you look, the way you smell, the way you move. Who doesn’t?”
“You’re very sweet, Taka, ” she said guardedly. “But there are other lionesses in this Pride that are equally pretty. You should meet one. You should get to know her well. I want you to be happy the way Muffy and I are happy. I really do.”
“There are other lionesses, ” Taka said softly. “Someone may think they are as pretty as you, but Sassie, not one of them has ever cried when I was hurt. Not one of them ever showed me kindness. Not one of them came to me in my dreams. It was only you, always you. Muffy has been a good brother and you have been a good friend. But gods, every time he makes love to you, I want to die. I just want to die! ” He bit his lip so hard that a small drop of blood stained his fur.
“Taka! ” she said firmly. “Get a grip on yourself! When you find yourself a lioness, we can be friends. Friends, Taka, the way we were as cubs. When you act like this, you frighten me. I don’t trust you. If you want a lioness to love you, you have to love her and make her feel special. Find someone that needs to feel special, and fill that need.”
“You just don’t get it, do you?” Taka stalked away. “I can’t get you out of my head. Sassie, you’re killing me from the inside.”
He settled into the shadow of a kopje to find respite from the sun, and he started to stretch out for a nap. Then another lion passed by. It was Ahadi.
“Walk with me, son.”
Ahadi headed slowly, silently up the winding trail that led to the promontory on Pride Rock. Instead of going into the cave, he headed up the finger of stone and at its peak sat in regal silence. Taka reached him shortly and sat next to his father.
“Lay your head on my mane, ” Ahadi purred.
Reluctantly, Taka did so. “Why did you want to see me?”
“I’m your father. Do I need a reason?”
Apparently he did not, for they sat together for a long while as the faint breeze stirred their manes together. A few soft clouds sailed by on an azure sea, and borne up on silent wings, a fish eagle lofted by majestically, undisputed lord of the air. For a few moments, two kings in their own right saw each other; the eagle dipped his wing, and Ahadi waved his paw. Taka began to relax as his tensions slowly ebbed away on the wind. He could hear his father’s steady pulse under the deep mantle of soft fur, and feel his sleek ribs rise and fall with the tides of his breath. It was a safe and comfortable feeling that stirred sleeping memories from the shadows of his mind.