His laugh was a short, harsh sound that hurt her ears. "If the woman I loved couldn't accept what I was, what hope is there of any other woman accepting it?"
I accept it. But he didn't want to hear that. Might never be ready to hear it if he couldn't see beyond the pain of that night. "The question is, did she love you?"
His gaze stabbed hers. "She carried my child. We were going to get married."
"That doesn't mean she loved you."
"Maybe in your free and easy world it doesn't, but in mine, that suggests love."
His words knifed right through her. In two simple words he'd summed up what he thought of her. But she'd never been particularly free or easy , despite the fact she'd had more than a couple of lovers. Nor had she ever been inclined to give in to lust and go to bed with a man just for sex. Until Ethan.
But then, deep down she'd always known there was something more than just sex happening between Ethan and her. At least on her side.
He sighed. "Kat, I'm sorry. I didn't mean — " "Yes, you did." She stared ahead, determined not to let the hurt show. But anger crept past her guard to roughen her voice as she added, "And I guess it's easy for you to think that because that's exactly what I've been with you."
He touched her knee. "You've been nothing short of wonderful and — " "Yeah, I guess sex on tap is a wonderful thing for a werewolf in the midst of moon fever."
She ignored his touch, ignored the way it made her feel inside. What did it matter? He would obviously never settle for someone like her, even if she could get him to admit he was capable of feeling something more than friendship.
He didn't say anything. Nor did she expect him to, given his continuing insistence that there was nothing more than sex between them. They drove in silence until the motel came into view. He stopped near the manager's office, and she climbed out, went inside and got them a room and some extra towels.
"I'll call Gran if you want to grab the first shower." She unlocked the door to their room and tossed him the towels as she walked across to the phone.
There was a certain amount of wariness in his expression — as if he wasn't quite sure what he should do or say.
"You need to warm up more than me."
"I also need to call my grandmother."
She turned her back on him and began dialling Gwen's number. He moved away, and a few seconds later she heard water running.
"About time you called," Gwen said into her ear. "I was beginning to get worried."
"We had a few problems." Which was the mother of all understatements, but Gwen didn't need to know the details until they'd gotten out of this mess safe and sound.
"Did you find the kids?"
"Yep. But they were too well-guarded, and by that time, we had nothing much left in the way of weapons."
"So why are you calling rather than coming back?"
"Because we're being followed by a hawk shifter."
"Damn." Gwen paused, then added, "Where are you holed up?"
"At a motel near the main highway. We'll wait for the attack then come back."
"I have a bad feeling about this, Kitty-cat."
So did she. Especially given the soul sucker had already shown she wasn't averse to using some form of explosive.
It might be a case of third time lucky. "We really have no other choice."
"I doubt whether that shifter will be hanging around once he thinks you're stopping. Maybe you should just drive back here."
"He knows what car we're driving. It would be easy enough in a town this size to find it again."
Gwen sighed. "True. And right now, when we're so close to snatching the kiddies back, I don't want to run the risk of letting the Mara know she's not only facing a wily young witch, but an old one too."
Kat's smile felt tight. Right now, she didn't feel particularly wily. Just cold, wet and annoyed. "I've got warding stones, so I can use those. Just make sure you're doing the same, in case this is all a ruse of some kind."
"I'm sitting in a circle now, and it's primed against magic and evil. I'll be okay. Just make sure you call me when the attack is over."
"Will do."
She hung up the phone and listened to the patter of water as Ethan showered. She had a sudden image of water rolling down the taut muscles of his stomach and legs and closed her eyes, fighting the desire that surged through her. She might be annoyed by the man, might be hurt by his words and his continuing determination to walk away, but she still wanted him so badly it hurt.
In love for sure, she thought grimly. But she could never let him know. Just as she could never let him know she might be pregnant. While she wasn't so convinced he was telling the truth when he said he didn't want kids, she was sure he meant it when he said he would hate anyone who tried to trap him that way.
But even if that hadn't been the case, she wouldn't have told him simply because she wanted him to stay because he loved her, not out of a sense of honour or duty. And if she couldn't have his love, she didn't want anything else.
She walked across to the window and watched the rain come down. She couldn't help wondering if the skies cried for her dreams that could never be.
Ethan pulled a cover off the bed as Kat padded naked out of the bathroom.
"Wear this." His voice was a little rough as he tossed the blanket her way. "Your clothes are still too wet to put back on."
Her gaze scooted down his towel-wrapped body, arousing him even more than he already was. Then she quickly wound the blanket around her. Obviously, she both sensed and saw just how tenuous his control was right now. Dusk was closing in fast, and the moon fever was beginning to rage in his blood. With the full moon a night away, his need for her was incredibly high. Yet right now he couldn't afford to sate that need. Not when an attack could come at any moment.
He clenched and unclenched his hands, but it did little to ease the tension riding him so hard. He watched her emptying the contents of her jeans pockets onto the table but found his gaze drifting to her blanket-wrapped breasts. Suddenly his feet were carrying him closer. Not good . He swung around and strode across to the window instead. The chill of the storm eddied past the window pane and caressed his fever-touched skin. He took a deep breath, but all he could smell was the soapy cleanness of freshly washed skin and the heat of feminine wanting. She ached as badly as he, but for an entirely different reason.
He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the little voice slyly suggesting he was kidding himself, that there was very little difference in the cause behind her desire and his.
Which was stupid. He was caught by the moon, nothing more.
He let his gaze roam across the parking lot. He had no doubt that the Mara knew he was werewolf. No doubt that she would wait until night had well and truly ignited the moon fever in his veins before she attacked. Which gave them maybe a half hour to prepare themselves.
Footsteps echoed in the silence as Kat walked back into the bathroom. Frowning, he glanced over his shoulder.
When she didn't reappear he gave into curiosity and followed her.
"What are you doing?" He stopped in the doorway and tried to ignore the way the blanket curved enticingly around her rear as she bent over.
She didn't look up. "What does it look like I'm doing?"
"Placing stones around the bathtub."
"Precisely." Her voice was vague, and there was a fierce look of concentration on her face.
"What for?"
"Circle of protection."
What she was creating was more a rectangle than a circle and encompassed not only the bathtub but a good portion of the floor. But he guessed the intention was the same.
"In here?" He couldn't help the scepticism in his voice, and she glanced up.
"Well, the bedroom is certainly out, isn't it?"