“Yes, I changed her,” he said patiently. “I’m a veteran now, remember?”
Laura giggled. “We both are at this point in the game,” she said. “I can’t believe it’s already been four weeks now. We have her one-month appointment next week! Can you believe that?”
“The time is flying,” Jake agreed. “I still remember that first day home with her.”
Laura laughed warmly. “Wasn’t that insane?” she asked. “Thank God Elsa was there. You too, C.”
“I will remember that day for the rest of my life,” Celia said with a laugh of her own.
Nothing terribly dramatic had happened on that first day home for little Caydee (they had started calling her Caydee while still in the hospital with her) it had just been a bit on the surreal side. Less than twenty-four hours after she emerged into the world, Dr. Niven and Dr. Michaels had told them to take her home. Take her home! By themselves! With no instruction manual or training classes! And they had done so, both of them feeling decidedly strange that the medical community was just letting them take this little life home to take care of. And then they arrived there and carried little Caydee inside the house in the carrier part of her car seat. And they sat her on the coffee table in the dining room. And they just stared at her, wondering what they were supposed to do next.
She was sleeping at the time, her little eyes closed, her respiration regular, her little body bundled up in swaddling blankets and her little hat on her head.
“What do we do now?” Jake asked. “Should we put her in her crib?”
“Maybe you should feed her, Teach,” Celia suggested.
“But she’s asleep,” Laura replied. “Dr. Michaels said there is no need to wake her up to feed her. She’ll let me know when she’s hungry.”
“Maybe her diaper needs to be changed,” Jake suggested.
“Shouldn’t we let her sleep if she’s sleeping?” Laura asked.
“I don’t know,” Jake said. “I thought you women were supposed to know about this shit.”
“I know as much as you do,” Laura said testily.
“Which would be very little, apparently,” Jake shot back.
They continued to stare at her. She continued to do nothing but sleep in the car carrier on the coffee table. God only knew how long they might have just sat there staring at her, but finally the door opened and in strolled Elsa. “Is there a new member of the household in here that I have yet to be introduced to?” she asked, a large smile on her face.
“Yeah, she’s right here, Elsa,” Jake told her. “Meet Cadence Elizabeth Kingsley, who has already been given the nickname Caydee.”
“Katie?” Elsa asked, raising her eyebrows a bit.
“Not Katie, Caydee,” Laura told her. “C-A-Y-D-E-E. It just seems to fit her.”
“Hmmph,” Elsa grunted. “If it’s all the same to you, I will continue to call her Cadence. I am not a proponent of diminutive nicknames.”
“But you’ve been calling me Jake all these years,” Jake said. “My real name is Jacob, you know.”
“I know that now,” Elsa said. “At the time I first met you I did not know that, however. Jake stuck. And the only one who calls you Jacob is your mother when she is upset with you.”
“That is true,” Jake agreed.
Elsa came closer and looked down at the bundle of joy in the car carrier. She smiled at the sight of the baby but then frowned. “Why is she still sitting in that device?” she asked.
“Uh ... because we’re not really sure what we’re supposed to do with her now that we’re home,” Laura told her.
“You’re supposed to take her out of the car carrier,” Elsa said. “She is your daughter, not a sack of groceries that you put away when you find the time and inclination. Unbuckle her from that thing and take her out.”
“And then what?” Jake asked.
“And then you check her to see if she is wet or soiled,” Elsa said. “If she is, you change her. If she is not, you hold her—or rather, you let me hold her since it has been many years since I last held an infant in my arms. And then, when you are done holding her, you put her in her crib and see if she wants to sleep.”
“Oh ... I see,” Jake said slowly.
“That does make sense,” Laura agreed.
“Doesn’t it?” Elsa asked.
Now, that first day seemed comical to them, absurd even. But they still remembered the anxiety of being brand-new at the parenting game. And they had had no idea of the sleep deprivation that was about to dominate their lives, no idea of how fundamentally their old lives had ended and their new lives as parents had begun.
Jeopardy came to an end and Wheel of Fortune started. Jake was not a fan of Wheel of Fortune, so he decided this was his cue. “I’m going to go shower up,” he told the ladies. “After that, I’m going to lay down and catch a little sleep before the ten o’clock Caydee call.”
“Don’t go too far asleep,” Laura said impishly. “We have some business to take care of.”
“I hope you’re not referring to vaginal-penile copulation,” Nerdly suddenly spoke up from across the room. “It is understood by the medical community that the vaginal passage is not completely healed from the trauma of childbirth until six weeks postpartum.”
Laura blushed furiously at his words. Jake did a little as well. They had thought that they had been speaking quietly and that the Nerdlys would not be able to hear them. They had been wrong.
“Uh ... yeah, thanks for the advisement, Nerdly,” Jake said. “We weren’t planning to do ... uh ... you know, any of that kind of thing.”
“That is appropriate then,” Nerdly said with a nod. “If you like, I can give you some suggestions as to what type of sexual activity it is safe to engage in at this stage of the postpartum experience.”
“Yeah ... that won’t really be necessary,” Jake said. “But thanks for the offer.”
“Watch out for the breasts,” offered Sharon.
“The breasts?” asked Laura, still blushing. “What about them?”
“They will tend to squirt milk out during sexual relations,” Sharon explained. “Particularly at the moment of orgasm—uh ... your orgasm, not Jake’s. I would suggest you keep your brassiere on and your nipple pads in place.”
Jake and Laura looked at each other for a moment. They had not thought about that. The only sexual activity they had engaged in since Caydee’s birth had been a blowjob that Laura had given him a few days before. She had noticed a little more milk than normal in her nipple pads after the encounter but had not attributed it to the act itself.
“Uh ... okay,” Laura said. “Thanks for the tip.”
“You’re welcome,” Sharon said. She and Nerdly then went back to perusing their computer screen and talking among themselves about hyperlinks and access stats.
“Well then,” Laura said. “Since we’re apparently not being coy, I guess I’ll just join you in the shower now instead of waiting the requisite period.”
“Sounds good,” Jake said with a smile.
They got up. “Good night, C,” Jake told the singer. “See you in the morning.”
“Right,” Celia said with a little smile. “In the morning.”
And, as before, they were fooling no one but themselves. But since they were fooling themselves, Celia waited the better part of forty-five minutes (and two more glasses of wine) before she made a big show of yawning and stretching and then declaring that maybe she would make an early night of it as well. She told the Nerdlys good night and then poked her head out on the balcony and told Liz goodnight as well. She then went upstairs to the secondary bedroom she stayed in and stripped off her clothes. She showered quickly, concentrating primarily on her armpits, breasts, and groin region. She was eagerly anticipating the coming encounter. After all, she had not had any sex except masturbation since that last encounter a few days before Laura went into labor. She was quite horny and hoped that Jake’s erection would be inside of her body soon.