Whatever it was, it wasn’t strong enough to temper those old feelings. That old love. And he’d had the nerve to be angry with me for revisiting Ben.
It’s not what you think. There’s more. So much more that you don’t know…
“Hypocrite,” I muttered, but there was no heat to the thought. I remembered all too well the division of the heart, and how difficult it was to step into a murky future when you still had the option of returning to a familiar, if dangerous, past. Solange and Hunter-or Jaden, as I needed to start thinking of him-had a history. He was right; I didn’t know what “more” had led to his actions, but in light of what I’d put him through, I couldn’t blame him for wanting to shield himself under the tapestry of that past. It was my own fault that I was the one stuck in this world, shivering and mortal and alone.
I looked over at the phone. It was dangerous, stupid to even consider with Helen in the house, but emotions won out over thought. I picked the phone up and punched in a long memorized emergency contact number for the rest of the troop. I felt like a jilted woman drunk-dialing her ex, though without the benefit of alcohol. I felt even more stupid once the electronic voice announced the number was disconnected. I didn’t bother checking to see if I’d misdialed.
“I am not disposable,” I whispered to myself, repeating it until Hunter, the troop, my mother, and the Tulpa were all smothered under my new mantra. No, I was recyclable, I thought with black humor. I lifted my shirt to reveal a belly with the glyph of the sun fading around a healed piercing. Those things that were recyclable could be reinvented in the world, right? I could become someone new. Again.
“Miss Archer?” Angie poked her head in after a short series of knocks. “You have visitors. A woman named Cher-um, no last name-and her mother?”
A soft smile visited my face, like a hesitant sparrow on its first flight. I nodded for her to send them in.
“I am not disposable,” I repeated, smoothing out the bedsheets as I waited. I decided to do the same with the edges of my wrinkled life; find some worth in what remained behind. There was value simply in being human, in being alive, I thought, lifting the hand mirror to finger-comb my hair. Right?
My reflection stared back at me, not looking at all sure.
“My gawd, girl.” Cher swooped in on a magic carpet of worry, estrogen, and Chanel No. 5. “Next time you decide to go for a swim…”
Suzanne followed not far behind, tears in her eyes. “It was the necklace, wasn’t it? It weighed you down?”
Cher hopped on the bed, settling close to me without asking. Angie looked a bit taken aback at this invasion, but I nodded that it was okay, and she shut the door softly as she left. I looked up at the two women who remained behind with me.
“Actually,” I told Suzanne, my hesitant smile widening, “I think it was what kept me afloat.”
27
In addition to the support of two flighty, mortal women who’d never wavered from my side, it helped somewhat that I had achieved my goal. I discovered Thanksgiving week that in my last completed task as a superhero, I’d finally brought the belated fourth sign of the Zodiac to life. This effectively ferried Jasmine on to the next phase in her life, healed Li, strengthened the agents of Light, caused the manuals to be written again, and gave Skamar a recorded name.
By transferring the rest of my soul, and all of my powers, over to Jasmine in the depths of that flooding pipeline, I had reunited an aura within the changeling, making her whole again. Skamar was resurrected…and though I’d missed what had proved to be a stunning climax, I’d read later in the first printing of the manuals of Light that she screamed to life under the power of a broken sky, and rocketed from her cross to pin the Tulpa to the ground with only her thumb. He managed to flee, but she followed, trailing sizzling sparks, like stars, behind her.
As for the fourth sign of the Zodiac-what we’d all been wondering for months now-it had proven more obvious than the previous three: the Kairos will sacrifice herself for a mere mortal.
Good thing I hadn’t known that one beforehand.
The fifth sign, or portent that one side of the Zodiac was gaining dominance over the other, was also brought to light. I had my driver pull into the strip mall parking lot at Master Comics, and waited in the car while he went inside, partly because I didn’t want to risk an appearance by Olivia Archer in the shop-not only because I was lacking powers, a conduit, support, or a troop-but mostly because I couldn’t bear facing the changelings. Despite saving one of their lives and restoring the balance between the two sides of the Zodiac, I had a feeling they too would turn their backs on me, and I couldn’t take that. Not yet.
This intuitive feeling was confirmed when my driver reemerged empty-handed, and thoroughly confused as to why the owner of the shop had refused to sell him a mere comic book.
“Did you tell him who I was?” I asked, sounding a lot more imperious than I felt as he peered in the passenger’s window to give me the bad news. He clearly expected to be sent back into the shop.
He’d also not only told Zane who the comics were for, but offered more money for them, and expressed an interest in a number of collectibles as well…all to no avail. His frustration and pure wonderment at the situation-and I was sure part of this was due to my interest in a comic book to begin with-was etched across his normally placid face.
I sighed and leaned back in my seat. “Get in the car, Kevin.”
“But-”
“It’s fine.” I shook my head. “It’s…fine.”
But just as we were sliding from the curb, a figure darted in front of the town car. Kevin slammed on the breaks, narrowly avoiding the small child. He cursed her and wiped his brow, but I slid the tinted back window down and took a good long look at the healthy, glowing, beaming girl.
“Hi, Miss Archer,” Li said in a high voice that was as strong as I’d ever heard it.
I could only nod.
“Zane has reconsidered your driver’s offer. He’ll take the money along with your word that these remain…collector’s items only.”
I cleared my throat. “They’re for my personal collection.”
Kevin looked puzzled as he watched Li hand me the small stack of comics through the open window. Our fingertips touched as she drew her hands away, and I felt a light squeeze on my pinky, so fleeting I might even have imagined it.
“Thank you,” I managed in a whisper.
“No. Thank you.”
Li turned away, and I twisted in my seat to follow her progress around the back of the car, until she leapt back onto the walkway. “Wait!”
I fumbled at the console until Kevin finally lowered the opposite window for me, and Li turned.
“You, um, you look familiar,” I was stuttering, and I reminded myself that high emotions could sometimes be scented. “D-Do you have a sibling?”
“An older sister, but…”
“But?”
She frowned, pretty face pinching up. “But we don’t hang out much anymore. She’s…moved on.”
The air whooshed out of my chest like it’d been kicked. “Oh, well. I’m sure you’ll be close again one day. When you grow up.”
The faraway look disappeared as her eyes met mine. Her beautiful, unmarked face widened in a perfect smile. “No rush.”
Then she skipped back into the comic book shop, bells jangling before the door shut firmly behind her.
“Weird kid,” Kevin commented, before catching my hard gaze. “B-But seems sweet.”
I looked down at the manuals, randomly flipping one open. Nothing jumped out at me or flashed or sounded from the pages. Just a normal comic book for a normal person. I let it fall shut on my lap and leaned my head back as we slid from the parking lot. “No, you were right the first time. She’s about as weird as they come.”