Yep an when I got ta my digs those Jew boyz that plucked me oudda the gas let loose on me wit that gibberish a theirs … wull, pardners, you had me mixed up too, carryin on wid all that talk a yers at first, I was advised some young gentlemen from Prague were here, an I mean it’s like I told ja! How bout that sweet little mother of a hundred spires of ours … don’t cha go poopin yer you-know-whats now … how bout ole Fensterer, still got that butcher shop a his up on Klamovka, pardners? Just got it back, Micka reported dejectedly. Wull an those Jew boyz let loose on me, an when they found out I was no showcase Jew, or even an ordinary one, when they found out I was a mixup, I mean I told ja, goddammit! they kicked me oudda the barracks, wull nowadays I’m above it all. An the tour moves on, shake a leg, make it snappy, gotta keep the wifey happy, hey! Wull, pardners, this right here’s a good one, in spring of forty-three me an Broněk jumped this one ole Izzy an scarfed down his potatoes, wadn’t that a treat, yep, yep. An this right here’s where yer Jewish soap was made, as in out of um, yup, an so me an Broněk snatched some an plugged it to the Polaks, word was it kept the lice off, yep, yep, it’s all behind us now, swingin the lingo yet, pardners? Ya know you fellas talk funny, like some kina goody-goodies, ya sure yer from the little mother? Hey an right over here’s where they killed Bonn, Hanuš, yep, right over here by these stakes, told me bout it when we went fishin, yep, yep. Right here then ya had jer storehouses, boyz, right here ya had yer ess-ess canteen, yer fancy house, heh heh, an right here ya had jer offices, here’s where I’d useda see Poláček,* awways makin like he was in a rush fillin out forms for the transports, cross out one, put down another, yeah he was good, that ole Hebe, all it cost was a little margarine, yep … Enough! roared Bohler. We turned around and saw him standing behind us with Sharky, and Sharky started in again, shimmying all over the place and wailing in that voice that didn’t go with him at all, something like asmoel … yizgebal … oooeee … chayil … ay-ay-ee … shoah … ey-ey-eee … an Bohler stood next to him with a cross resourcefully fashioned out of two bones tied together with a strip of his cassock, roaring: Stand back, infernal power … diabolical delusion … unclean force … and as the two of them came walking down a path of bones toward us, I could almost feel the power of the warpath … but Novák the skeleton just laughed and said: Oh yeah, folderol, shenanigans, yep, gentlemen carry on all sortsa ways here, rollin aroun the ground, oh yeah, it’s got all kindsa diffrent effects, yep, yep, I’m aware a that … but … and the skeleton scratched his skull with the shinbone.
Look, Mr. … sir, said Micka. Whoever you are, whatever you want with us, where we come from every little kid knows that Poláček died in Terezín an he definitely never put anyone … any Jews, uhh, any people down for the transports, just the opposite, he saved em … for Chrissake, Micka, cheeks flushing, turned to Bohler, he was a writer! An Hanuš Bonn never left Terezín either! Sharky chimed in, tears rolling down his cheeks like peas. Yeah, I said, that’s where he wrote: Flamin crosses up in the sky an days undone with salty anguish … I suddenly remembered the song that She-Dog had told me. And Josef Novák the skeleton, seeming a little embarrassed, shuffled the bones of his feet in the sea of other bones, and said: Oh yeah, boyz, plenty a gentlemen lose their tempers durin the tours cause things’re a little diffrent out our way … than what ya got in those arkives an paypers an facts a yers, yep … An besides, there were no transports from here, this was a Death Camp! Sharky said furiously through his tears. Suddenly Novák the skeleton was next to him, patting him on the shoulder with that bone. I saw Sharky shudder, but he kept right on bawling and, O my brothers and chiefs, I was shaken because I’d never seen the tough, cruel Sharky sob with grief … like some helpless little kid … I was afraid we’d lost him … he wept and wept, and that normally razor-sharp face turned blurry … and the horror began to creep into my heart, I was scared … Novák the skeleton soothingly patted him on the shoulder, and said: Oh yeah, it’s a lot ta take for the Israelite gentlemen … but look at it this way, pardner, that in spite a what they had planned for alla ya, you grew up ta be a strong, good-lookin Jewish fella … an there’s lotsa you … an gorgeous Jewish girls … all over … An they failed … an you can kick their asses! Micka roared at Sharky … an we’ll help! he added, menacingly waving a bone … Amen! Bohler said in a resounding lion’s voice, and Sure, whatever it takes, I said somewhat unconvincingly. All right, scouts, we get these kina cases an outbursts all the time here, yes sir, now movin along … apropos, gents, this lager here wadn’t all that big … transports ran oudda here roun the clock … now yer genuwin lagers … yer death factories, those were unnerground … an don’t think there wasn’t lotsa heftlinks happy da be here, I mean I’m tellin ya! Right here in Auschwitz! But yer genuwin lagers the ess-ess kept hidden unnerground … in Russia … an those kindsa places … no one knows a hoot about them yet … all those paypers an rekerds an facts a yers! … Pff … Auschwitz wadn’t diddly! Baloney, roared the freshly outraged Sharky, why else would Jehovah have sent us here? What Jehovah, Bohler cried, tearing up what was left of his cassock, what Jehovah I ask! … it was Starry Bog … Whoever it was, pardners, guess he just felt like it … said Novák the skeleton, I dunno, I’m a little man, all this sendin stuff … yer here, yer here … and he added to himself: These edjumucated gentlemen, graddyates … awways pickin arguments … never stop stickin their two cents in …
Then it was Micka’s turn to vomit, and Bohler wept, and David knelt down and crossed himself, and Sharky had his tough razor face back on, and I didn’t want to but I heard Novák the skeleton … wull an here’s where we tossed um inda the ovens, even if they screamed an fought back, Broněk knew how da handle um, he was this boxer, a sorta Jewish Goliath, wull an I hauled in the ole Jews, an they didn’t fight back cause right up till the last minute they’d be hopin an prayin the Messiyah might turn up … somethin wrong, pardners? said Novák the skeleton as we all screamed in horror … an put out the fire. Those ole Jews believed it, sure as can be! Wull, he never made it. Me an Broněk worked together on the sondercommando, an it was ess-ess Wagner came up wid burnin um alive, got bored one day … we’ll get ridda those lice for um, boys … an he’d awways arrange for the canteen da bring us over some bread an a couple cups a melta, an salami too! Yep, dee-licious, wull nowadays I’m above it all, right.