The lid blew off the place at ten. There was some screaming out in the main room and Jack Nerstein yelled, “You won! You won!”
I started to get up off the couch, when a worker bee ran in. “WBAL just called it. You won!”
I turned to stare at Marilyn, who was just staring back. Brew McRiley went to the television in the living room and switched it to WBAL, but stopped as the WMAR news came on at the top of the hour. We stopped there and watched. “We now have a stunning upset to call. In the Maryland Ninth, with 38 % of the vote in, we are predicting that Republican billionaire investor Carl Buckman will unseat the eight term Democratic incumbent, Andy Stewart. In what is widely considered one of the nastiest campaigns across the country this election season, Buckman is beating Stewart by over twenty points.”
There was a graphic on the screen, with both our names listed, and the vote count. Buckman was listed as 48,995, 61 %, and Stewart was listed as 31,047, 39 %. The total vote count was specified as 38 %. There was a big check mark next to my name, and my picture was on the screen. Then there was a blip, and the results went to 52,325 and 32,029, and the percentages went to 62 % and 38 %.
Around me everybody was damn near screaming, but I just stared as the announcer went on to call the Maryland Fourth. I turned to my wife and just stared at her. “Holy shit!” I muttered.
Marilyn’s face was as lit up as everyone else’s. She squealed and threw herself at me, and I grabbed her by sheer reflex. I felt numb. Brewster grabbed my hand and started shaking, and I just looked at him and stared. “Carl! Carl?”
“Holy shit!” I said to him.
Brew laughed at me. “Yeah, holy shit. Dude, you need to sit down!” He pushed me back towards an armchair. “Make a hole! Dead man walking!”
Marilyn was laughing at me, and after I was pushed down into the chair, she sat on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. I finally came around when she began kissing me, so I returned the favor. She pulled back after a moment, as my friends laughed at me. “Wake up, Dopey! You won!”
I finally grinned back at her. “Holy shit, I won!”
Marilyn kissed me again, but then hands were on me, pulling me to my feet and slapping my back and shaking my hand. “Now what?” I asked, to nobody in particular.
“Now we wait until I can confirm this with Stewart’s people,” replied McRiley. “In the meantime, don’t drink anything more. I want you sober when this goes on television.”
“Shit!” I muttered. I turned to Jack. “Hey, you think you can call anybody over at the police station? Maybe they could send somebody over to run a few breathalyzer tests. You know and I know, somebody is going to get wasted here tonight.”
“Maybe even you!” he replied, smiling.
“Yeah, just maybe!” I answered, grinning back at him.
I circulated around the room, shaking some hands, and waiting for a call to come through. After a few more minutes a cell phone rang. We crowded around as Brewster pulled it out and answered. I couldn’t really hear what he was saying, but he had a very consternated look on his face, and then he hung up the phone, shaking his head. He looked up at us and said, “Well, now I’ve heard everything. Andy Stewart isn’t going to call to concede.”
“He thinks he’s going to win?” I asked.
“No, he’s just not going to call you and concede.”
I looked around me and found some other very confused faces. “I’m not following you,” said John.
Brew shrugged and said, “I’m not sure either. That was his campaign manager, Bart Billings. Bart told me that Andy knows he’s lost, and they talked about it, but Andy refuses to call you and give you the time of day. He said to tell you to go…” Brew looked around and saw the women in the room, and stopped. “He said to tell you to go, uh, pound salt.”
I gave him a very confused look. “So, what does that mean? He’s going to contest it? Demand a recount or something? Wait until the election is certified?” That wouldn’t happen for several more weeks.
“No, he’s conceding, I guess, he just doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“Christ, what a prick!” commented Bob Destrier. “Sorry, ladies!”
None of the women seemed to care. His wife, Millie, however, asked, “So, what do we do?”
“Let’s throw it back into his face, force it on him,” I replied. “I go down there and make my victory speech, and specify that we have heard from his staff. If he wants to complain about it, he can take it up with the news stations tomorrow. Let him answer their questions.” There were a lot of agreeing nods around the room. “Okay, let’s do it!”
I made a few shooing motions towards the door, and everybody started heading out into the main room. I checked my appearance in a mirror, and took a deep breath. I turned to Marilyn, who was standing next to me, and said, “Show time!”
“Let me go first. I need to tell the reporters you’re coming in, so they can report it live, or whatever. Give me five minutes!” ordered Brew.
I nodded and we waited. After a few minutes one of the worker bees, a wildly grinning car salesman who had joined the campaign after hearing me speak at a Chamber of Commerce gathering, came running up, to tell us Brewster said we could go. As I left the room, cheers erupted, along with some applause, from some people in the hallway. I just grinned at everybody and continued on into the main room, where the pandemonium became truly raucous! I went up to the podium we had put at the end of the room. We had a backdrop there, along with an American flag and a Maryland flag. The noise continued until I made some quieting motions, and then things got quiet. I looked over at McRiley, who was talking to the reporters. Some really bright lights came on and then he turned and gave me the go-ahead.
“Thank you. We just received a call from the Stewart headquarters conceding my victory tonight in the Congressional race for the Maryland Ninth. This is it, folks. We won!”
There was a bunch of cheering and applause, and it took a moment to get things under control.
“I have so many people to thank for this, I’m not sure where to start. First and foremost, I have to thank the voters who voted for me. They have placed an awesome trust in me. I promise not to abuse that trust, to be a Congressman that every citizen of the Ninth can be proud of, whether they’re a Republican or Democrat.”
There was a smattering of boos at the mention of the Democrats, but I had been expecting that. I held my hands up and said, chidingly,
“Now, let’s be fair. There is no possible way I would have won without the votes of a lot of good Democrats, people who are trusting that I will represent them better than they have been represented in the past. I am not the Republican Congressman, I am the Congressman for the entire Maryland Ninth, for all of us, Republican and Democrat, and I welcome and appreciate their support!”
“Next, I have to thank the people in this room, and elsewhere — you guys!”
There was a lot of cheering at this.
“This is a team sport, and you were the team! I wouldn’t be up here without you! I could never have done this alone! Thank you for all the hard work you’ve performed! I won’t forget it!”
“Next, I need to thank the people responsible for getting me into the race in the first place — John Steiner, Jack Nerstein, Bob and Millie Destrier! They were the ones to convince me to give it a shot. I’ve spent the last year alternately thanking them and cursing them, and I’m still not sure which I want to do more, but they got me into the race, for better or worse! We can always figure out a way to blame them!”