“Well, I’m certainly not in shape,” I told her.
“Why is this so important to you?”
I led her up towards the palm trees and found a spot on the sand, and sat down. Marilyn sat down at my side, facing me. I looked out at the sea rolling in for a moment, and then turned to face her. “You’ve never seen me not in shape, but it’s not a pretty sight. I’ve told you before, but I don’t think you believe me. Back when I was a kid, right up into my teen years, I was always the smallest kid around. I was short and skinny and weak. It was pathetic! I used to get the crap kicked out of me on a routine basis. I finally just cracked and had enough of it. You heard the story. When I was 13 I just said enough was enough; they can kill me but I’ve had enough. That fight on the school bus — it was like I was out of control almost.”
“I can’t imagine you like that. Normally you’re so much in control!” she commented.
“I think it’s because of that. Ever since then, if you think I’ve been successful, it’s because of the control, the discipline. Physically, it was the workouts and the running and the aikido. Mentally it was always the preparation and homework. I can’t control the world around me, but I can control myself. So much around us is so totally random. I can’t control my family — God knows I would like to! — and I can’t even control you and Charlie, but I can control myself.”
“You worry me, at times, always trying to be in control. Some things you can’t control.”
I just nodded. “I know that. It’s like I said, though, the discipline and control is about me, not anything else. I can’t change how the world is going to behave or what is going to happen to us. I can only change what I have control over. I can control myself, my thoughts, my actions, my behavior. Whenever you have seen me at my worst, it’s been when I have lost that control. I have to fight that constantly. It is so easy to give in and lose control.”
“I have never seen you like that!” Marilyn protested.
“Oh yes, you most surely have! Don’t you remember that weekend when I got into it with Mark and your parents? I lost control then! I was so out of control I damn near lost you! You were the one who kept me in control then. You rescued me that weekend.”
Marilyn looked startled at that, being reminded of that Thanksgiving weekend all those years ago. “One time!”
“One time too many. There have been other times as well. What I’m saying is that I function better when I don’t lose control.”
“Is this an Army thing? Is this because you can’t be in the Army anymore?”
I had to smile at that, but it also made me think. “No, but it’s related. I think one reason I did well in the Army is because the Army is all about control, control and discipline and purpose. It was easy to stay controlled, and that control allowed me to control my men and my unit.”
“And now you don’t have it anymore.” It was a statement, not a question, and I just nodded.
“And I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I suppose I always knew the day would come when I couldn’t do it any longer. I mean, I always knew that sooner or later the Army would catch on and hoist my ass out the door, but until it happens, you just don’t think it will happen to you.”
Marilyn took my hand. “Well, this week you’re on vacation! We’ll worry about the future when we get back home. Maybe we’ll just have to find you a job after all!”
I laughed at that. “God forbid! It’s bad enough that I have to put up with my own bullshit! There is no way I could ever put up with someone else’s!”
“So the exercise? It’s not like you’re fat! My God, Carl, you are in tremendous shape! I wish I was as in shape as you are!”
I grinned at that. Marilyn was sitting there on the sand and her robe had shifted enough for me to realize that it was all she was wearing. I liked her shape, just like it was! I shook the thought off, at least for the moment. “It starts out slowly. You ease off and slow down. Maybe skip out a day a week. The next thing you know it’s two days, then three. Eventually you notice that you are goofing off more than you are exercising, and your pants are a bit snug. Then you’ve put on five pounds and you need the next size up. So you decide to lose the weight, and end up killing yourself to lose the weight, and it never really comes off, and you get tired of the fight and gain another five pounds. After a while, you’re fat!”
This was precisely what had happened to me the first time, although I had never been one for exercise then. My natural lankiness and wiry build had kept my weight in bounds until I hit my thirties, but after that, it was always a pound or two a year, and it wasn’t a positive thing. It’s one thing to be 5’11" and weigh 185, it’s quite another to weigh 245.
“It translates into other things, too. Do you know the quickest way to make a small fortune on Wall Street?” I asked.
“How?”
“Start with a large fortune!” Marilyn groaned at that, so I said, “So I study. Every day at home I read the newspaper and the Wall Street Journal and magazines. It’s a discipline, so that when an opportunity comes along, I can react first.”
Marilyn nodded, not understanding perfectly, but nodding regardless. “I worry about you. Nobody can be in control, not always.”
I reached over and took her hand. “That’s your job. You keep me sane. I’ll control everything else, you control me. Listen, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’ll get to the gym and a dojo when we get back home. Maybe I can get back in trim and learn how to move again.”
Marilyn leaned over and hugged me, and in doing so, her robe shifted and gaped open in the front, exposing her tits. SPROING! Carl Junior popped to attention! I held onto her and leaned backwards, pulling her with me to the sand. I slipped a hand inside her robe and began fondling her breasts.
“Carl! We can’t do that here?”
“Why not? Who’s going to see?” I tugged loose the belt holding the waist of her robe closed, although Marilyn tried a pro forma protest. “You’re the one who came out here in nothing but a little silk robe!”
“I was looking for you!”
I peeled her robe open and lowered my face to her chest and began flicking my tongue over her nipples. “You found me.”
“Carl! What if we are seen?” she asked me this even though she was starting to pant.
“By who? Mrs. Wilkes? You think she hasn’t seen crazy Yankees doing this before” I sucked her tits some more and slipped my hand between her legs. For all her complaints, Marilyn was quite wet.
“Carl!”
“Just don’t scream my name loudly!” I teased. “We wouldn’t want them investigating!” I reached down and pushed my swim trunks down around my knees and then pushed Marilyn onto her back. She automatically spread her legs and I crawled over her, and sank down into her. She moaned and I whispered to her, “I think you actually came looking for me so I could give you a good fucking!”
“Oh, God! Don’t stop, don’t stop!”
I pounded into her pussy, praying to God that the sand didn’t get into anyplace inappropriate. That would be very unpleasant. Marilyn had her arms and legs wrapped around me and I fucked down into her, driving my cock into her as I whispered how she wanted it so much. Her moaning was constant and incoherent by the time my back arched and I spasmed my jism into her.
Marilyn kept her arms and legs tight around me as I sagged down onto her. Eventually she relented and untangled herself, saying, “I can’t believe the things you get me to do!”
“Are you complaining?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Didn’t you enjoy that?”