“I was going to make you a cake to try to cheer you up. Unfortunately, my culinary skills are very limited. The stupid directions said to mix all the powder ingredients so I put them in here turned on the mixer, and it exploded.” He mimics an explosion with his hands, and I finally lose my composure. I am laughing so hard that I lean on the counter for support. “This is funny?” His voice is deeper and closer to me than it was before. When I open my eyes he is standing right next to me, his frame almost towering over me.
When his hands wrap around me, I try to run but he holds me to him. Then he proceeds to rub his face, all over mine even going down to my neck. I am screaming and squirming the entire time, but it does no good.
“Let me go!” His arms release me, and now he is the one laughing. “You suck.”
“Hey, you know what they say. Misery loves company.” His finger swipes some of the excess flour on the counter before dragging it down my nose.
“Really?” I spring toward him but he moves and when I go to chase him, I slip on all the flour. I land on my back and just decide to count my losses and lay there.
“You okay? You’re a real klutz.” I hear his footsteps coming close to me. Then a loud bang next to me. I look over and Jake is in the same position I am on the floor.
“You okay? You’re a real klutz.” I mock him, and he laughs. “You know there are these cool things they make called cake mixes.”
His head turns toward me with a smile. “Well, excuse me for trying to be creative.”
“Well, your creativeness has left us both covered in flour after busting our asses on the floor. I needed this laugh though so thank you.” I lean in and kiss him.
“I totally did this on purpose then.” We peel ourselves off the floor and spend the next hour cleaning up ourselves and the kitchen.
“What do you say we order dinner and dessert? That way there are no more casualties.” I search through the drawer where I found his menus when I was cleaning earlier.
“Sounds good. Order whatever you want, I’m gonna go grab a shower.” He gives me a quick kiss before going upstairs.
I settle on pizza because it is something easy and I don’t have to worry about getting something he won’t like. The pizzeria even sells slices of cake so I can feed my now present craving. I head upstairs and grab some clothes that I left here last time I was so over so I can shower once Jake gets out. When I get to the second floor landing, the door to the bathroom opens, Jake comes out with a towel tied around his waist and I’m frozen in place. His chest is hard and I’m mesmerized by the drops of water slowly trailing down his muscular build. Each one carefully making its way over each ripple. My body heats as I look up to see his eyes on me.
I should say something, apologize for basically drooling like an idiot. Say anything! Even something awkward would work at this point. Just form words! Nothing comes out. He takes a few steps toward me and my heart starts to race. I have never had these feelings toward any guy. The kind of feelings that make me want to give myself to him. Unlike most girls, I really didn’t go through the stage where I wanted a guy’s physical attention, but I want his.
Jake’s hand grips my neck slowly bringing my lips to his. When we kiss, I decide to let go. I want to trust him, to not hold anything back and give into what I’m feeling. I pour myself into the kiss and wrap my arms around his neck pulling him toward me. Our bodies are pressed tightly together as I hold onto him for dear life. His muscles are pressed against me, and his strength is making me feel safe. He keeps me grounded. He’s my anchor right now in all of this craziness. He has been someone I can turn to no matter how hard I pushed him away.
“You gotta tell me what you want, babe. I don’t want to take this further than you are ready for.” Whenever we have kissed, I have always been the one to break it up and know he has sensed my reluctance. The fact that he wants me to be comfortable only makes me want him in more. Carly told me I could trust him. I believe it was her in that dream, she came to me for a reason. Maybe that reason was to tear my wall down and open my eyes. With the danger surrounding me and all the unknowns, I need to feel the comfort only Jake gives me. I need to feel wanted, cherished, protected.
I take his hand and lead him into the bedroom. I spin us around, and he sits on the bed. I climb onto his lap and rest my forehead against his. “I’m not sure what to do. I’ve never…I haven’t done anything before. I know I want you. I want us.” I can feel a blush creep up my neck. I feel so embarrassed admitting to how inexperienced I am. I feel like a weight has been lifted with my confession. I’m free. I’m not scared to tell him this; I know that he won’t hurt me.
“I am going to make you mine tonight. You don’t need to be embarrassed. I love that I am the only one ever to have you. If you want me to stop at any time I need you to let me know.” His hands grip my hips, and a chill runs through me.
I nod.
As much as being with him scares me, I think I’m ready.
Chapter Nineteen
Nina
Jake stands up holding me and taking me with him. He eases me down his body before his hands grip the hem of my shirt and slowly drag it over my head. I reach behind me, my trembling fingers undoing the clasp on my bra and letting it fall to the floor. He doesn’t move his eyes are fixed on mine, and I wring my hands uncomfortable under his gaze. His hands bring me closer to him, and his mouth gently presses against the skin on my neck. I sag against him relieved and relishing in the gentle contact. His mouth begins to trail down my body until it comes to my breasts.
His hands cup them and when he captures my nipple in his mouth I moan. My breathing picks up as he continues his descent. When he reaches my waistline, his fingers slowly unbutton my pants easing them and my panties down with a slow torturing pace. I lean on his shoulders, stepping out of them, becoming aware I am naked in front of him. I feel completely and utterly exposed. I have nothing to hide behind right now, and it is scaring me.
His fingers trace their way up my legs, until he is standing. His towel drops and I can’t help but look down. I have no idea how to react. Jake is the first guy I have ever thought about doing stuff with. He spins me and pulls me down onto the bed with him.
“Are you okay?” Can he sense my inexperience? I mean I know I told him but I hope I don’t act like a complete dunce. I’m so scared that I won’t do this right. I nod taking a deep breath. “If you’re not ready it's okay.”
He needs me to tell him it’s okay. “I’m ready; I’m just nervous.” My shaky voice is almost a whisper. His lips press against mine, and I relax at his touch.
“Don’t be nervous. I’ll take care of you.” His hand trails down my side before slowly moving to my front. He cups me gently, slowly stroking me while he continues to kiss my neck. When his finger slips inside me, I grip his shoulders. “It’s okay, relax.” Easy for him to say! I try to take deep breaths, but the more he moves, the more I become unable to control my actions. Sounds are coming out of my mouth that I’ve never made before.
His thumb strokes my clit, and I jerk. He laughs a little before his other hand grabs my ass. “Don’t run away from me now.” He kisses my mouth as both his fingers start to move, his other hand holding me tight so that I can’t squirm away. The sensations shooting through my body begin to build, I feel like I’m about to explode. I can feel my muscles tensing. I’m slowly becoming less able to handle the feelings, and then I explode. I scream his name while I feel like I am shattering into a million pieces.