"I'm going to spike YOU right through the roof," I growled. "Let me put it this way: I can handle the concept of danger. Sometimes it's fun, but only where there's a chance that I can win in the end—I prefer a good chance, but I'll take what I can get. But I have been observing this contest today, and I have seen good evidence that you are skewing the games to make sure certain teams are eliminated. That's bad, considering that your contestants come into this with the understanding that they have to play fair. That means they are expecting you to play fair, too. Right?"
"Er, I'm not really admitting anything, Aahz," the Geek said nervously. "You're not, not recording this, are you?"
I planted a hand on my chest. "Would I be as underhanded as you?"
"Frankly, yes," the Geek said. "I've known you for centuries, Aahz. You're doing some fine talking about fair play, but you haven't always been completely honest in your dealings."
"On Deva!" I bellowed. "On Deva, anything is fair if you can get away with it. If you want to play it by those rules, I can do that. You didn't get away with it. I saw you. These fine ladies saw you."
"A Trollop," the Geek scoffed. "A Klahd and a Cupy."
My voice dropped again. "You know who they are. And, I might point out, that the Klahd you are making fun of is a close relation to a very powerful man with important connections in the Bazaar and elsewhere. So, show some—respect."
I shoved him back in his chair with a thrust of magik, just to remind him I had it. "Now, I can go public with what I saw, and get your sponsors to yank their backing, or maybe you'll just have to stop interfering and tilting the odds the way you want them. I assume you have heavy bets standing on certain teams, and it would look very bad if those bets became public knowledge."
"I can fix everything!" the Geek said. My fist came up under his nose. He blanched to pink. "I mean, I won't fix it, I'll unfix it! I mean."
"You mean you're gonna make this a fair contest, don't you?" I asked, going from gravel-voiced to sweetness in mid-sentence.
"Yes! Yes! That's what I mean! It'll be even, I swear it! From now until the end, when the winner is declared, I swear, there won't be a single deliberate irregularity. Aahz, this is gonna cost me a lot of money. Can I count on you to keep it quiet, if I do what you want? Please?"
"All right," I said. I dropped him. The Geek scrambled up and beckoned to a third fetching Deveel in a very short skirt. She dashed into the bubble and put her pencil to her clipboard.
"Honey, here's what I want you to do..." He reeled off a long list of instructions. She scribbled notes. I folded my arms
as I had seen Aahz do so many times, and glared at the Geek to make sure he didn't back out on any part of his promise. "Oh, and get the lottery box, Honey. Bring it up here. I've got to—take a look at it."
Honey gave us a toothy smile and vanished.
"Is that all right, Aahz?" the Geek asked, wringing his hands together. "Is everything okay now?"
"Sure it is," I said. The Geek relaxed and headed for his chair. Before he could sit down I beckoned with a finger, and the chair came rolling over to me. I sat down in it and leaned back with my arms behind my head.
"What are you doing?" he asked, aghast.
"Sticking around," I said. "I just want to make sure that you keep your promises. I'll leave once this contest is over— no matter who wins. It'll be a nice surprise for both of us."
"Yes, it will," he said weakly. He gestured to a stagehand to bring him a chair for him and one for Bunny. I admit it was rude of me to take a seat and not offer it to her, but I had to make the point that I was in control. I glanced up at her to see if she was angry, but she wore a very pleased grin.
The Geek noticed the expressions pass between us and gulped loudly. "Er, may I offer you a drink? Miss Bunny?"
Music played to amuse the audience while the stage was blacked out. The Geek lowered his bubble down to the Arena floor to issue a few orders in person. Bunny sat drinking her Pink Wyvern cocktail with a ladylike little finger stuck out while I stumped up and back in the Geek's little office, trying to look as much like Aahz as possible. I spotted the Sorcerer's Apprentices a few yards from us then hastily glanced away. I knew they couldn't possibly recognize me in this disguise, but I was afraid one of my mannerisms might give me away.
Unfortunately, they had spotted us, too. Jinetta touched her sorority sisters' shoulders and pointed in our direction. The three of them came marching over.
"Hi, Bunny," they said.
"Hi, girls! I can't believe how well you're doing," Bunny said. "I didn't know you were going to be in this contest."
"Well," Freezia began, "we didn't want to say anything in case someone overheard us. Teams have been sabotaged in the past before they got to the contest. Skeeve isn't mad, is he?"
"Oh, no!" Bunny assured them, giving them a big hug. "He's very proud of you."
They all smiled with relief.
"Good," Jinetta breathed. "We all have a great deal of respect for him. We will always think of him as our real teacher."
I felt myself tearing up a little bit. I reached into my belt pouch for a handkerchief and blew my nose loudly to conceal dabbing at my eyes. That brought Jinetta's attention to me.
"Aahz. Are you connected with this game somehow?"
"N—no, I'm not," I said. "I'm just here to observe fair play."
"I see," she said. "Will you be here later? I want to talk with you when this is all over."
"Sure," I said. I didn't plan to be around to have my disguise penetrated, so I felt free to promise almost anything. She stalked back to the others. I could tell they were talking about us.
Bunny noticed. "You could eavesdrop," she reminded me.
"Somehow," I said, "I am not sure I really want to hear what they're saying."
The bustling ended, and the Geek returned to join us in the office.
"Up," he ordered it. Obediently, the silver bubble rose high over the great bowl.
Schlein appeared in the middle of the stage and held up a graceful hand.
"Let the brawl recommenced
Chapter Twenty-Five
"My compliments to the chef." S. TODD (THE BARBER)
"Well, we were sorry to say farewell to the Bald Guy with Muscles," Schlein confided to the audience at the start of the game the next day.
"Awwwww," the audience chorused.
I could see now that they were prompted on what to say by a gigantic cluster of fireflies that zipped around out of view of the crystal balls and spelled out words. At the moment they said, "Disappointment!"
"Yes, sir," Schlein continued, "it was a close one, but the Wheel of Misfortune stops where it will, when it will! And on this last day of Sink or Swim: Perv, we rejoin our celebrated odds-maker, the Geek, for his take on today's contests! Ladies and gentlemen, the Geek!"
The fireflies spelled out "You love him!" and the audience went wild.
Schlein appeared in the bubble. Dozens of magicians in robes appeared around it, all pointing their crystal balls at us. Bunny, wearing a very tight peach-colored dress that squeezed her natural attributes both up and down, perched on a stool next to the Geek's odds board, and twiddled her fingers at the handsome Sittacomedian. I stood near the wall with my arms crossed. Somewhere below, Tananda and Markie were keeping an eye on my students. One way or another, the Sorcerers Apprentices would be safe.
"And we have guests today!" Schlein announced, never missing a beat. "Who are these fine people, Geek?"
"Well, this lovely lady is Bunny," the Geek explained, nervously. "She's going to be pointing at numbers for me today. Show 'em a two, Bunny."
Beaming, Bunny obligingly stood up and indicated the nearest number two.
"Well done, lovely lady!" Schlein exclaimed. "And this gentleman?"
"He's a well-known businessman and magician who has interests in the Bazaar on Deva, but as you can see, he's a native of this wonderful dimension where we are having our game here today. His name's Aahz—"