`Antonia,' Tiberius said, 'I have already given you the hint to leave well, alone, but if you insist I shall do as you ask.' Then he called, up Herod, who was walking behind with Caligula; and Gemellus, and said: `I am now about to examine your coachman, Herod Agrippa, at the insistence of my sister-in-law, the Lady Antonia, but I call the Gods to witness that what I am doing is not done by my own inclination but because I am forced to it.'
Herod thanked him profusely for his condescension. Then Tiberius called for Macro, who was also present, and ordered him to bring the coachman up for trial before him immediately.
It seems that Tiberius had enjoyed a few words in private with Gemellus on the previous evening. (Caligula, a year or two afterwards, forced Gemellus to give him an account of this interview.) Tiberius had asked Gemellus whether he had anything to report against his tutor, and Gemellus answered that he had overheard no disloyal words and witnessed no disloyal action; but that he saw very little of Herod these days - he was now always about with Caligula and left Gemellus to study books by himself instead of coaching him personally. Tiberius then questioned the boy about loans, whether Herod and Caligula had ever discussed loans in his presence. Gemellus considered for awhile and then answered that on one, occasion Caligula had asked Herod about a P.O,T. loan and Herod had answered, `I'll tell you about it afterwards: for little pitchers have long ears.' Tiberius immediately guessed what P.O.T. meant. It surely meant a loan negotiated by Herod on Caligula's behalf which would be repayable post obitum Tiberii - that is, after the death of Tiberius. So Tiberius dismissed Gemellus and told him that a P.O.T. loan was a matter of no significance and that he now had the fullest confidence in Herod. But he immediately sent a confidential freedman to the prison, who ordered the coachman, in the Emperor's name, to disclose what remark of Herod's he had overheard. The coachman repeated Herod's exact words and the freedman took them back to Tiberius. Tiberius considered awhile and then sent the freedman back to the prison with instructions as to what the coachman must say when brought up for trial. The freedman made him memorize the exact words and repeat them after him, and then gave him to understand that if he spoke them properly he would be set at liberty and given a money reward.
So there on the race-track itself the trial took place. The coachman was asked by Tiberius whether he pleaded guilty to stealing the carriage rugs. He answered that he was not guilty, since Herod had given them to him as a present but afterwards repented of his generosity. At this point Herod tried to interrupt the evidence by exclamations of disgust at his ingratitude and mendacity, but Tiberius begged him to be silent and asked the coachman: `What, else have you to say in your defence?'
The coachman replied: `And even if I had stolen those rugs, as I did not, it would have been an excusable act. For my master is a traitor. One afternoon shortly before my arrest I was driving a coach in the direction of Capua with your grandson, the Prince, and my master, Herod Agrippa, seated behind me. My master said: "If only the day would come-when the old warrior finally dies and you find yourself named as his successor in the monarchy! For then young Gemellus won't be any hindrance to you. It will be easy enough to get rid of him, and soon everyone will be happy, myself most of all.’
Herod was so taken aback by this evidence that for the moment he could not think what to say, except that it was perfectly untrue. Tiberius questioned Caligula, and Caligula, who was, a great coward, looked anxiously at Herod for guidance, but got none, so said in a great hurry that if Herod had made any such remark he had not heard it. He remembered the ride in the coach and it had been a very windy day. If he had heard any such treasonable words he certainly would not have let them pass but would have reported them immediately to his Emperor. Caligula was most treacherous towards his friends, if his own life was in danger, and always hung on the lightest word of Tiberius: so much so that it was said of him that never was a better slave to a worse master. But Herod spoke up-boldly 'If your son, who was sitting next to me, didn't hear the treason that I am alleged to have uttered - and nobody has quicker ears than he for hearing treasons against you - then surely the coachman could not have heard them, sitting as he was with his back to me.'
But Tiberius had already made up his mind. He said shortly to Macro, `Put that man in handcuffs,' and then to his sedan-men, `Proceed.' They stepped off, leaving Herod, Antonia, Macro, Caligula, Gemellus, and the rest staring at each other in doubt and astonishment. Macro could not make out who it was whom he was supposed to handcuff, so when Tiberius, having been carried all the way round the race-track, returned to the scene of the trial, where the, whole company was still standing just as he had left them, Macro asked him, `Pardon me, Caesar, but which of these men am I to arrest?' Tiberius pointed to Herod and- said, `That's the man I mean.' But Macro, who, had great respect for Herod and hoped perhaps to break down Tiberius's resolution by pretending to misunderstand him, once more asked, `You surely cannot mean Herod Agrippa,, Caesar?' 'I mean no one else,' growled Tiberius. Herod ran forward and all but prostrated himself before Tiberius. He did not dare to do it quite, because he knew Tiberius's dislike of being treated like an Oriental monarch. But he stretched out his arms in a pitiful way and protested himself Tiberius's most loyal servant and absolutely incapable of so much as admitting the least treasonable thought to cross his mind, let alone uttering it. He began to talk eloquently of his friendship with Tiberius's dead son (a victim, like himself, of unfounded charges of treason), whose irreparable-loss he had never ceased to mourn, and of the extraordinary honour that Tiberius had done him in appointing him tutor to his grandchild. But Tiberius looked at him in that cold, crooked way of his and sneered, `You can make that speech, in your defence, my noble Socrates, when I fix the date of your trial.' Then he told Macro, 'Take him away to the prison yonder. He can use the chain discarded by this honest coachman-fellow.'
Herod did not utter another word except to thank my mother for her generous but unavailing efforts on his behalf.' He was marched off to the prison, with his wrists handcuffed behind him. It was a place where misguided Roman citizens who had appealed to Tiberius from sentences in lower courts were confined - in cramped and unhealthy quarters, with poor food and no bedding until Tiberius should have time to settle their cases. Some of them had been there many years.
Chapter 4
HEROD, as he was being led towards the prison gates, saw a Greek slave of Caligula's waiting there. The slave seemed out of breath, as if he had been running, and held a water pitcher in his - hand. Herod hoped that Caligula had sent him there as a sign that he was still a friend, but that he could not openly declare his friendship, for fear, of offending Tiberius. He called to the boy, 'Thaumastus, for God's sake give me a drink of water.' It was very hot weather for September and, as I told you, there had been hardly any wine to drink for dinner. The boy came forward readily, as if he had, been warned for this service; Herod, greatly reassured, put his lips to the pitcher and drank it nearly dry. For it contained wine, not water. He said to the slave: `You have earned a prisoner's gratitude for this drink and I promise you that when I am free again I shall pay you well for it. I shall see that your master, who certainly is not a man to desert his friends, gives you your liberty as soon as he has secured mine, and I shall then employ you in a position of trust in my household.' Herod was able to keep his promise and Thaumastus eventually became his chief steward. He is still alive at the time I write this, in the service of Herod's son, though Herod himself is dead.