Tacitus, Annals
(Oxford translation)
III
Claudius was angered by Agrippina's actions, of which he was now becoming aware, and sought for his son Britannicus, who had purposely been kept out of his sight by her most of the time (for she was doing . everything she could to secure the throne for Nero, inasmuch as he was her own son by her former husband Domitius); and he displayed. his affection whenever he met the boy. He would not endure her behaviour, but was. preparing to put an end to her power, to cause his son to assume the toga virilis, and to declare him heir to the throne. Agrippina, learning of this, became alarmed and made haste to forestall anything of the sort by poisoning Claudius. But since, owing to the great quantity of wine he was for ever drinking and his general habits of life, such as all emperors as a rule adopt for their protection, he could not easily be harmed, she sent for a famous dealer in poisons, a woman named Locusta, who had recently been convicted on this very charge; and preparing with her aid a poison whose effect was sure, she put it in one of the vegetables called mushrooms. Then she herself ate of the others, but made her husband eat of the one which contained the poison; for it was the largest and finest of them. And so the victim of the plot was carried from the banquet apparently quite overcome by strong drink, a thing that had happened many times before; but during the night the poison took effect and he passed away, without having been able to say or hear a: word. It was. the thirteenth of October, and he had lived sixty-three years, two months and thirteen days, having been emperor thirteen years, eight months and twenty days.
Agrippina was able to do this deed owing to the fact that she had previously sent Narcissus off to Campania, feigning that he needed to take, the- waters there for his gout. For had he been present, she would never have accomplished it, so carefully did he guard his master. As it was, however, his death followed hard upon that of Claudius. He was slain beside the tomb' of Messalina, a circumstance due to mere chance, though it seemed to be in fulfilment of her vengeance.
In such a manner did Claudius meet his end. It seemed as if this event had been indicated by the comet, which was seen for a very long, time, by the shower of blood, by the thunderbolt that fell upon the standards of the Praetorians, by the opening of its own accord of the temple of Jupiter Victor, by the swarming of bees in the Camp, and by the, fact that one incumbent of each political office died. The emperor received, the state burial and all the other honours that had been accorded to Augustus. Agrippina and Nero pretended to grieve for the man whom they had killed, and elevated to heaven him whom they had carried out on a litter from the banquet. On this point Lucius Junius Gallio, the brother of Seneca, was the author of a very witty remark. Seneca himself had composed a work that he called `Pumpkinification' - a word formed on the analogy of `deification'; and his brother is credited with saying' a great deal in one short sentence. Inasmuch as the public executioners were accustomed to drag the bodies of those executed in the prison to the Forum with large hooks, and from there hauled them to the river, he remarked that Claudius had been raised to heaven with a hook. Nero, too, has left us a remark not unworthy of record. He declared mushrooms to be the food of the gods, since Claudius by means of the mushroom had become a god.
At the death of Claudius the rule in strict justice belonged to Britannicus, who was a legitimate son of Claudius and in physical development was in advance of his years; yet by law the power fell also to Nero because of his adoption. But no claim is stronger than that of arms; for everyone who possesses superior force always appears to have the greater right on his side, whatever he says or does. And thus Nero, having first destroyed the will of Claudius and having succeeded him as master of the whole empire, put Britannicus and his sisters out of the way.. Why, then, should one lament the misfortunes of the other victims?
Dio Cassius, Book Lm
as epitomized by Xiphilinus and Zonaras (tr. Cary)
The Pumpkinication of Claudius
A SATIRE IN PROBE AND VERSE
BY LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA
I MUST here put on record what took place in Heaven on the thirteenth day of October of this very year, the year that has ushered in so glorious a now age. No malice or favour whatsoever. That's right, isn't it? If anyone asks me how I get my information, well, in the first place if I don't want, to answer, I won't answer. Who is going to compel me to do so? I am a free man, aren't I? I was freed on the day that a well-known personage died, the man who made the proverb true, 'Either be born an Emperor or an idiot'. If I do, however, choose to answer, I shall say the first thing that springs to my lips. Are historians ever compelled to produce witnesses in court to swear that they have told the truth? Still, if it were absolutely necessary for me to call on someone, I would call on the man who saw Drusilla's soul on its way to Heaven; he will swear that he saw Claudius taking the same road, 'with halting gait' (as the poet says). That man simply cannot help observing everything that goes on in Heaven: he's the custodian of the Appian Way, which of course is the road that both Augustus and Tiberius took on their way to join the Gods. If you ask him privately he will tell you the whole story, but he will say nothing when a lot of people are about. You see, ever since he swore before the Senate that he saw Drusilla going up to Heaven, and nobody believed the news, which was certainly a little too good to be true, he has solemnly engaged himself never again to bear witness to anything he has seen - not even if he sees a man murdered in the middle of the Market Place. But what he told me I now report, and all good luck to him.
Great Phoebus had drawn in his daily course,
And longer stretched the darksome hours of sleep.
The conquering Moon enlarged had her domain
And squalid Winter from rich Autumn now Usurped the throne.
To Bacchus the command Was 'Grow thou old!'
and the late vintager
Gathered the few last clusters of the grape.
You will probably understand me better if I say plainly that the month was October and the day the thirteenth. I cannot, however, be so precise about the hour - one can expect an agreement between philosophers sooner than between clocks but it was between twelve noon and one o'clock in the afternoon. `You're not much of a poet, Seneca,' I can hear my readers say. `Your fellow-bards, not content with describing dawn and sunset, work themselves up about the middle of the day too. Why do you neglect so poetical an hour?' Very well, then:
Phoebus had parted the wide heavens in twain
And somewhat wearily 'gan shake the reins,
Urging his chariot nightwards: down the slope
Of day the grand effulgence, waning, slid.
It was then that Claudius began to give up the ghost, but couldn't bring the matter to a conclusion. So Mercury, who had always derived great pleasure from Claudius's wit, took one of the three Fates aside and said: `I consider, Madam, that you are extremely cruel to allow the poor fellow to suffer so. Is he never to have any relief from torture? It's sixty-four years now since he first started gasping to keep alive. Have you some grudge against him and against Rome? Please let the astrologers be right for once: ever since he became Emperor they have laid him out for burial regularly once a month. However, they can't really be blamed for getting the hour of his death wrong, because nobody was ever quite sure whether he had really been born or not. Get on with the business, Clotho: