It had taken her a good ten minutes to tell me all that; she'd spoken clearly and slowly, trying to make sure I understood what she was saying, and all that she'd done and thought before she brought it up with me. Yes, she had bounced around a bit as she was talking — but since she was doing it from the heart, and not a script or printed notes, I was willing to dismiss the style in favor of paying attention to the content and substance of what she'd had to say.
As I looked at her, I saw that she was a bit nervous, but unafraid — and absolutely certain of what she wanted.
Looking into her eyes, I told her "Okay, you've told me what you want, and why, and all that. But you've had plenty of time to get ready for this, and I'm just hearing about it now. I'm not going to make you wait too long, but I need a little bit of time so that I can think about what you said, okay?"
Dry-eyed and solemn, she nodded her head; and after I'd released my soft hold around her, she quietly got off my lap and took a seat on my couch. I thought it noteworthy that she didn't assume the right to wait on my bed, but didn't give up and go upstairs, either — there was something she wanted me to do, and she was apparently ready to wait for it to happen.
With nothing to distract me, I sat there and considered what she'd said — not just the words, but what they told me about her; and how she'd tried to get across to me what she'd thought and done and felt before she made her request. I also had to think about what MY involvement was leading up to that point — whether I'd done anything to encourage her, or cause her to think that I wanted us to be that intimate with each other. Finally, I had to try and figure out what would (or might) happen afterwards, for either choice I made. It wasn't a fast or easy process, and required a lot of serious thought (and no small amount of soul-searching) on my part before I finally had an answer to give her.
When I looked at the clock, I realized that I'd been sitting there for nearly an hour; turning to look at where Karen was waiting, I saw that she was ready to sit there until she got an answer.
When I cleared my throat, she saw that I was looking at her, and realized that I was ready to tell her what I'd decided. She got up, then came over to resume her previous position on my lap.
When she was settled, I put my arms around her waist again. She was looking at me steadily as I told her "You know that what you want is something serious — very serious. And I'm sure you understand why I thought it was important enough that I had to think about it for this long. There are several things that make me think that us having sex wouldn't be a good idea — how young you are, the fact that I am your uncle, and several more. But there also things that make me think that it could be okay, too. Things like the fact that we do love each other so much; and that you worked so hard to try and make sure of what you wanted, and what would happen, and all of that. I had to try and think about what could happen if we started having sex — not just the things between us, but what might happen to you, and even how it could affect your sisters and your Mom. Then I had to try and see if I did anything that maybe caused you think this was something we could or should do, and what I thought about us having sex — and what might happen to me. As much as I could, I had to try to see if I could figure out what good and bad there would probably be, and could be, and might be — not just for you and me, but for your Mom, and Donna, and Wendy, because whatever happens with us is going to affect them, too. I think you can see that there were a lot of things that I had to look at, and think about, and try to decide whether they were big and important, or not — and if they were, how much. I told you that I would never lie to you, and I'm not going to lie to you about this, either. There was a lot of stuff that made me think that us having sex wouldn't be good, just like there was a lot of things that made me think it could be okay, too. Honestly, I'm still not sure that what I decided is the right one, and I'm afraid that it's going to do things that make you end up hating me for it. But what I finally decided was that if you're sure enough to ask if you can give your virginity to me, then the best thing I can do is try to make it as easy and good for you as I can."
As I'd been talking, I could see that Karen was trying to prepare herself for what she thought would be a negative answer — so when I agreed to what she'd asked, it took her a second to understand that she'd gotten the answer she wanted. Still, she didn't get ecstatically happy, or start acting like a kid in a toy store; if anything, she seemed to get even more sober about it -
which actually helped settle my concerns a bit, since it let me know that she really comprehended the significance of the matter.
We were looking at each other when I asked her "You asked me about this tonight, but it doesn't have to happen tonight, unless you want it to. If there's anything you want to do first, or you need to wait, or anything else, that's fine. This will be easiest for you if it happens when you want and HOW you want. There are some things that I can do — and will do! — to help; but the most important part is that you're comfortable with it. I know you know that sex is how babies are made, and I don't think either one of us wants that to happen, so I need to know what we're going to do about it."
She managed to give me a small smile before she answered "That was one of the first things I checked on, Uncle Ted. Because my periods still aren't regular like Donna's, they say it wouldn't be good for me to use anything like chemical birth control, yet. It might be possible for me to get an IUD, but that's usually not something they can do while the girl is still a virgin. I talked to Mom about it, and she said that whenever I was ready, she'd make an appointment for me to get one. I… I decided that when… when we have sex the first time, I don't want either of us to have to do anything special, so I checked and made sure that if it happens right before I start my period, there isn't any egg for your sperm to make a baby with. So if… if we did it tonight or tomorrow, that would be good, because my next period won't start until Tuesday — you can't make me pregnant today or tomorrow, or even Monday; but I think waiting until then would be too close."