I wasn't surprised that she'd thought to check on what her options were; she was the smartest of the three of them, and consistently brought home the best grades — something that didn't always please her sisters.
The next thing I asked her was "You know that we can make love in different ways?"
"You mean positions? Yeah, I know, I've seen diagrams of them."
"Did any of places or things that you used to learn about girls losing their virginity say anything about what was easiest for them?"
She nodded before answering "Yeah, they said the easiest one is if the girl is on top so she can be in charge of how fast it happens. But I'm not sure that I could actually do it myself like that -
hurt myself on purpose that way, I mean. I know that there's no way of really knowing if it'll hurt before it actually happens, and I think I'd be too scared that it would hurt to be able to do it myself. I was hoping that it would be okay with you if you were on top of me the first time — if it's going to hurt, then I know you'll make it as little as you can, and that you won't chicken out like I might; and besides, I'd like it if we could look at each other, and kiss, and stuff."
Myself, I was all in favor of the first option, her being on top of me, so that she WAS in control, and I could be sure that she wasn't hurt. But if she was afraid that she wouldn't actually be able to make it happen when the time came, then her request that I take care of getting through her hymen was something that I was just going to have to do, regardless of how I felt about it.
The last thing I had to make sure of was to ask her "Karen, I know you'll understand why I have to ask this… are you sure that your mom will be okay with this? That there isn't going to be any trouble, afterwards?"
She smiled at me again, then answered "I'm sure, Uncle Ted. When I talked to her about an IUD, she asked me if I thought I was going to need one. I told her I thought I was, and she asked me to make sure first; then she said that I had to decide for myself when I was ready, and that she loved me, no matter what. Then she told me that I didn't have to be afraid, that she knew the guy would do everything I needed to make it easy, and nice. Neither one of us said your name, but I knew she knew that I wanted it to be you. I kinda think she was even happy for me."
Well, Teresa had said that she trusted me completely, and what Karen just told me simply confirmed that fact. Still, I felt a little relief at hearing that Teresa had been okay with the imminent deflowering of her fourteen-year-old daughter.
Karen's answer to my question left me with nothing else to do other than gently pull her close enough to hold her against my chest, and softly tell her "Sweetheart, if you want to give yourself to me like that, I'll do the very best I can to worthy of the honor you're giving me. I'm sure you believe it, but I'm going to say it anyway — I'm going to go as slow and easy as you need. You don't have to worry about however long it takes, or maybe getting nervous or even afraid; I love you, and the most important thing to me about this is that when we're done, you're happy. I'll wait whenever you want me to, and until you tell me it's okay again. If you want me to stop doing something, I will, the second you say so. If you change your mind, or decide you don't want this to happen with me — now, or ever — then that's okay with me. And it's okay with me because I love you, and if I didn't do those things, then I know it would hurt you… and that's the last thing I'd ever want to happen. Okay?"
"I know you wouldn't rush me, or anything, Uncle Ted; and I know you'd stop if I asked, or wait for me if I needed you to. I'm a little nervous, now, because I don't know how it's going to go — but I'm not even a little bit afraid of what's going to happen. I love you, and I know you love me to, just as much, and the same way; that's what makes me want you to be the one that makes me not a virgin any more, and to be with you while I learn about the rest of this sex stuff -
because I know you'll be patient with me, and not say or do things to hurt me, and all that. But it's still nice to hear you say it."
I held her like that for a couple more minutes before she softly asked "Uncle Ted? Can we go now? And… you know…"
"Whenever you want, honey.", I answered. With a soft pressure of her hand against my chest, she let me know that then was when she wanted; I released my hold on her, and she calmly got off my lap and stood next to the chair. When I was standing, too, she took me by the hand and led the way to the bed. Under her command, I helped pull the bed covers down before we got on the bed and situated next to each other. She was laying on her side next to me, with her arm and leg draped across me while I had my arm around her.
Her head was resting on my shoulder when I told her "We can make this happen however you want it to, Karen. If there's something that you want to happen in a certain way, then that's what we'll do. If you just want to tell me when you're ready for me to do something, that's fine, too.
You told me that it was okay for me to start doing things with you first, and if it would make you happy for me to be in charge unless you say different, I'll be glad to do that for you. It doesn't have to be the same the whole time, either; we change things around however you want, whenever you want — you're the boss, here."
"You always know how to make me feel good, Uncle Ted, so it's okay if you're the one in charge… I'd kinda like that, even. I'd like it if we could start by, you know, kissing and stuff."
I could feel that she was somewhat tense, and decided to take things extra slow at first, so she'd know that she didn't have to be nervous or afraid. Slowly, over the next few minutes, I began trying to get her to relax. I started by simply kissing the top of her head, then doing it again a little later. A gentle hug, then another kiss. Slowly and gently, I began caressing her side, careful not to tickle her; small touches that started out at just her waist gradually expanded to include the entire side of her body — even when I kissed the top of her head a couple more times along the way.
I continued my patient efforts until I could tell that nearly all the tension had left her, then gently got her rolled onto her back so that I could move to MY side and prop myself up on my elbow.
Looking down at her, I could see that she'd gotten a little bit tense again — which I'd expected.
Putting my hand on her belly, I tenderly caressed her from navel on up, but deliberately avoiding her breasts. As I did, I lowered my head and gave her lips a number of soft, chaste kisses to try and let her know just how much I loved her. The first few times our lips touched, she was simply too nervous to respond; but as I continued, she began to relax again as she slowly began to accept that I was fine with taking however much time she needed or wanted. Once she started to kiss me back, it didn't take long for her to lose the nervousness that had been there right after we'd moved. By the time I began to let my fingers start making brief contact with the outer edges of her breasts, she was as relaxed as I could hope for.
My fingers and hands slowly making more and more contact with the firm mounds of her breasts was something that was familiar enough to her that she was able to enjoy the increasing contact; that I was still exchanging soft kisses with her helped, as well. With my hand cupping her breast as I ran my thumb across her nipple, our kisses grew longer, and more involved; I'd gotten both of her nipples nicely extended when our tongues finally touched — something that was still somewhat new to her, since we'd only done it a couple of times before then. Under my hand, I could feel her start to respond to the additional excitement she was feeling because of how our tongues were playing "tag" back and forth between our mouths.