His brother had been lucky in so many ways; as the eldest, he had possessed the edge from birth. Their mother had always treated him with love whereas she had never once treated him with anything that even resembled love. Lance was convinced that everyone knew that she didn't care for him and that it was all pretend, that even now, she wouldn't speak directly to him if she could avoid it.
Lance loved Kathleen with the love he should have given to his mother if his mother had let him. Like him, Kathleen made his mother feel insecure, made her feel she had somehow fucked up, which of course she had. She thought she could pick and choose the children she wanted. Well, she couldn't.
His mother was the reason for everything bad that had happened to them all and she couldn't even admit it. So she dumped the blame on him and poor Kathleen. She was pregnant again; she produced children like other women shelled peas and with no shame or care for any of them, really. Another bastard would be produced by her and no one would be any the wiser as to who the father was. She didn't tell them anything, she didn't see it as any of their business. The girls, even his Kathleen, were all excited about it and acted like it was going to be some kind of joyous event. Yet not one of them had had the guts to mention it to her until she decided to tell them. Patrick wasn't even annoyed. He just wanted to know who the culprit was and if she was OK. No real bother about the fact she was knocked up once more, that another child would be produced and, knowing her, neglected. Patrick was so like her, he really didn't give a toss what people thought or how people perceived them as a family.
Well, one day she would see what she had done to them all, he would make sure of that. Lance knew so much about all of them and he never said a word but that could change, of course. If the need to open up presented itself he would not feel bad about it at all. It would not be the first time he had spilled the beans and he had a feeling it would not be the last.
Donny Barker walked out of his safe house then. Lance slipped out from the car he had stolen earlier that night and, walking over the road nonchalantly, he beat the older man to his vehicle. Donny was alone, a rare occurrence in his world, but, having seen Lance, he didn't feel any kind of fear. In fact, he smiled in recognition. Anyone observing them would have assumed that they were old mates or at least business associates of some description. But if they saw the look that was on Lance's face then they would realise that he wasn't smiling at all. In fact, he actually looked like most people's worst nightmare.
Eileen and the three younger kids were watching TV as usual. It was Saturday evening and they were all curled up on the sofa watching the A-Team and laughing at their antics.
Shamus, Colleen and Christy were used to being left to their own devices when their mother was working. It was strange, but they had known from an early age that without her out grafting, their lives would be a lot harder.
Unlike the others, who had been lucky enough to have a father who had been there at least some of the time for them, the three youngest had never had that kind of security.
And now Colleen and Christopher's father was out of their orbit, once and for all, they didn't really feel anything about him at all. Lenny Brewster had not really been a part of their lives ever, so his death actually meant nothing to them. The rumours around and about were rife and they had heard a whisper now and again about him but, in actual fact, they were not bothered one way or the other. Eileen knew the score, she had already put two and two together for herself and, like her younger siblings, accepted it as part and parcel of their lives.
She still had the odd flashback to the night her father had been murdered; as young as she was, she still remembered some of it with stunning clarity. This was usually when she least expected it and usually when she really didn't need the reminder. Pat Junior had never celebrated a birthday since and it wasn't through want of trying either. Their mum had tried her hardest to make the day a celebration rather than the anniversary of their father's death. Now though, none of them bothered. Patrick really didn't want the reminder and, as they had all got older, neither did any of them. Though they had always tried to make an effort for young Shamus's birthday, despite it coming so quickly after.
Eileen glanced at the clock. She would give it five minutes and then start getting herself ready to go out for the evening. At nearly fifteen years old she knew she looked much older. She also knew that if she didn't get out of this house on a regular basis, her twin sister's madness would infect her as well. She would never refer to Kathleen as mad in any way out loud but in her head she could think what she liked and she did. Frequently.
Kathleen was still confined to her bed and she was not eating anything of substance. For that matter, she was not even attempting to talk to anyone about what was wrong with her. Eileen was her twin and yet Kathleen still didn't trust her enough to talk to her about anything that was going on with her.
Eileen saw Colleen and Christopher whispering to each other, much the same as she had with Kathleen when they were younger.
'What are you two whispering about?'
Colleen laughed nervously. 'Nothing much. We were just wondering if Lance was going to come home soon, that's all. Do you know when he'll be back?'
It was a fair question, Eileen knew. She knew they were both worried about Lance's return to the house.
She felt so sorry for him because everyone knew that their mum, the woman who had birthed them all, couldn't stand to be in the same room as him. It hurt him, she knew it did. She knew that it had to be the worst feeling in the world knowing that your own mother didn't care about you at all. Lance had known that for years and she had known about it since she could remember. Even these two had sussed that much out.
'Lance is a grown man and he will come home when it suits him.'
Eileen got up then and wandered from the room slowly. She was going out and the last thing she needed was anyone drawing attention to her; she was not silly, she knew that this family could blow up in a heartbeat.
Colleen and Christy waited until Eileen was out of earshot before they started laughing with Shamus. They knew where she was going and who she was going there with. It was strange that the other people in the house had no idea about her secret life.
But then again, she was fifteen in a few weeks and to them she was ancient and they knew that if they opened their mouths she would launch them into outer space without a second's thought.
Jimmy Brick and Spider were in a private club off the Caledonian Road. They were drinking Guinness and dancing warily around each other. Neither of them knew exactly how conversant the other one was with the current state of affairs. This was a very common dilemma for many people in the know.
Conversation could be very difficult because, unless you were partnered with someone, or you had been briefed about a certain person, you could not talk freely to them without the fear of exposing information that could cause potential havoc. Spider and Jimmy went back a long way and so the situation was even more delicate than usual. Jimmy had been off the scene for many years and this was seen as cause for concern by Spider. Jimmy, for his part, knew that Spider had his own little firm and a respected firm at that. He also knew that his old mucker was wary of him because of his prolonged absence. That was something he had not discussed with anyone, of course, and would not do so unless he felt the time was right.
So when Pat finally bowled in surrounded by his boys, young men like him who had done a bit of bird and were willing to work for someone their own age who was going places, they were overly pleased to see him.