And she had not even wondered where she was. All the while she was being murdered, that poor little girl was being killed somewhere, and she had been more interested in how the house looked. Colleen had not even entered her mind. Eileen blamed herself for it, had always blamed herself.
Then when she had married Paulie, she had hoped to make everything better, but there had been no babies; the one time she had been pregnant she had lost it at five months, and there had been nothing since then. She had seen that as her punishment for losing Colleen, that God saw that she couldn't be trusted with a child.
The drinking had started after poor Colleen had gone missing. It had gradually escalated over the years until now she was an alcoholic and Paulie helped her keep her secret. Knew why she was like she was. Listened to her rambling on about Colleen, wishing there was something he could do to help her.
'Take her home, Paulie, will you?'
Eileen's secret was common knowledge to everyone, but until Paulie asked for help, they would let him sort it out, knowing he was good to her, loved her, and would one day see that his love and care was not enough to make her better.
Paulie Brick walked the sobbing woman from the room. Kathleen put her hand out to touch her as she passed her, and Eileen grabbed it tightly, saying, 'I can't listen, in case they say it's my fault.'
Paulie walked her out, and the silence was deafening until Shawn said, 'Well, come on, what's this fucking reason then?'
Scanlon looked at the sea of faces around him and, taking a deep breath, he spoke once more: 'Six weeks before Sammy snatched her, Lance and Donny Barker had gone to his house to collect a debt they had recently bought from an unknown party.' He waited for some kind of reaction, but no one spoke. It was as if they were all in shock.
'Go on?' It was Patrick who urged him on.
'Sammy's eldest daughter was held at gunpoint, and she was terrified. Only twelve at the time, he said she was absolutely in bits. He said that Lance had shot him in the feet with a sawn-off and that has been verified by the way, the shooting. He told the hospital he opened his front door, and someone had shot him cold. No one really bothered to pursue it, knowing it was obviously something and nothing. The usual falling out among thieves.'
Scanlon looked around the room. 'You all know the score. Anyway, he said that Bianca, his daughter, was never the same again. She couldn't eat or sleep. It really affected her. At one point she had the sawn-off aimed at her head. A month later, she cut her wrists. Killed herself.'
No one spoke, they all seemed to be holding their breath.
'The girl killed herself? Over Lance?' This from Lil. 'Why am I not fucking surprised?'
'That's why he ain't here, ain't it? He knew what you were going to say. Has he fucking packed up, Annie? Has he left?'
Patrick stared at the old woman and she was shaking her head in distress. 'No, course not…'
'Fuck Lance for a minute, Pat. So what happened, Mr Scanlon?'
Lil was sitting up in the chair once more and her face quieted all of them.
'Sammy was distraught and went after Lance. He said he found Lance with Colleen that morning, watched them talking and, after Lance had said goodbye to Colleen, he went up to him and told him what had happened to his girl. He wanted Lance to at least acknowledge what he had done, but Lance just laughed at him and said she was better off away from him, that she was ugly and no one would ever have wanted her anyway. When Sammy pulled a weapon on him, Lance laughed, beat him up and drove off laughing. He said it was the final straw, he couldn't make any sense out of it all. He knew that Lance had no care or interest, had simply thought it was funny. Lance had found Bianca's death amusing. It drove him mad.'
Scanlon sighed. 'Sammy drove after Colleen then, to ask if she knew where Lance was going and she had said she didn't. Before he knew what he was doing, he had talked her into getting in the car, and he tried to explain about his daughter, thinking she might be able to make Lance understand what he had done. But Colleen got frightened and tried to get away and somehow, in the tussle, he killed her. He then drove back to his house and buried her in the garden. He waited, expecting to be caught, wanting to be caught, in fact. But no one ever put two and two together. He thought Lance would have been the one to bring it all out.'
'That is fucking rubbish.' Annie was shouting now.
'Donny Barker confirmed his story and he also confirmed that Lance had met him that day and bragged about seeing Sammy that morning and how he had laughed at him. He remembers it so vividly because it was the day Colleen went missing.'
It was true. They all knew that, even Annie.
Lil couldn't believe what she was hearing, even though in her heart, she knew it was true. Lance had bullied the man, as he always bullied everyone, and had finally sent someone over the edge at last.
Lil looked at her eldest son then. 'I told you, didn't I? I said he had something to do with it. I knew it, I just knew it…'
No one spoke, it was as if a bomb had exploded among them.
'All right, Lance?'
Donny Barker was all nervous smiles and Lance walked to the bar in the corner of the room and poured himself a drink.
'Bit early for you, ain't it?'
Lance swallowed the brandy quickly and looked at his friend.
'Did you get the tickets for me?'
Donny nodded. 'Course. The bloke is going to deliver them in a while. Why?'
Lance shook his head nonchalantly. 'No reason. I just wondered, that's all. Did you get me money out?'
Donny poured himself a vodka and coke and, adding ice and lemon, he sat on the edge of his desk and said quietly, 'Is everything all right? What's this all about? All this fucking hurrying…'
Lance stood up and said in a loud voice, 'You got my fucking money or what, Donny?'
Donny automatically leant back; he could see the nervousness that would soon turn to violence. Lance was obviously in a state.
'Calm down, Lance, for fuck's sake. What is wrong with you?'
Lance sighed heavily, trying to control his temper and not doing a very good job of it.
'The money is all here, OK. The tickets are being delivered by Karen Hines. She booked them herself, OK? So fucking calm down.'
Lance knew he was acting suspiciously but he was unable to relax. Once he had the cash and the tickets he would calm down.
'What are you going to Northern Ireland for, anyway? Hardly a fucking holiday destination, is it?'
'Who are you, Donny, the fucking holiday police?'
Donny laughed but he knew Lance would be taking a plane somewhere else from there. The question he wanted an answer to was where. He knew he had money, they all did, and he knew that if he was going on the trot then it meant he had an inkling that something was up.
Lance was a fucking leech and he knew that, had accepted that; his worry was whether it was something he should be worrying about.
Lil looked around her and saw her sons sitting there, all trying to understand what they had just heard.
Lance, the child she had never wanted, had never cared for, had destroyed everything that they had held dear. He had caused every person in the room heartbreak. Had ensured that not one of them had ever known a real day's peace and now, she knew, thanks to him, they never would.