I'll step down off my box with the observation that, hell though the Tenderloin is, and as vile, vicious, or degraded as its habitues may be, most have some choice about being there.
"Garrett."
I think I jumped about four feet high because my sense of survival had gone into hibernation. I came down so ready for trouble I had the shakes. "Maya! What the hell are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you. I figured you'd come this way."
Was the little witch turning into a mind reader? "You didn't say why." I knew why, though.
"We're partners, remember? We're looking for somebody. And there's some places a man isn't going to get into no matter what he tries."
"You get hiking right back home. I'm going into the Tenderloin. That's no place for—"
"Garrett, shut your mouth and look at me. Am I nine years old and fresh out of a convent?''
She was right. But that didn't make me like it, or incline me to change my mind. It's weird how the symptoms of fatherhood had set in. But damn it, Maya out of her sleaze ball duds and chuko colors wasn't anybody's little girl. She was a woman and it was obvious.
And that was maybe two-thirds of my problem. "All right. You want to stick your neck out, come on."
She joined me, wearing a smug smile filled with good teeth.
I said, "You snuck up on me, you know. You grew up. I can't help remembering the filthy brat I found beat to hell all those years ago."
She grinned and slipped her arm through mine. "I didn't sneak, Garrett. I took my time and did it right. I knew you'd wait for me."
Whoa! Who was talking shit to who here?
Maya laughed. "If we're going to do it, let's go."
37
To understand the Tenderloin—to even picture it if you've never been there—you have to get in touch with the seamiest side of yourself. Pick a fantasy, one you wouldn't tell anyone about. One that makes you uncomfortable or embarrassed when you think about it. In the Tenderloin there's somebody who'll do it with you, for you, or to you, or somebody who'll let you watch if that's your need.
Let your imagination run away. You can't think of anything somebody hasn't thought and done already. Hell, somebody's thought of something even more disgusting. And it's all available there in Wonderland. And not just sex, though that's the first thing that jumps to mind.
At that time of day, late afternoon, most of the Tenderloin was just waking up. The district worked around the clock, but the majority of its patrons were like insects who shun the light. The district wouldn't get white-hot until after sunset.
I asked Maya, "You been down here before?"
"Never with a gentleman." She laughed.
I tried to scowl but her constant good humor was catching. I smiled.
"Sure," she said. "One of our favorite games. Come down here and watch the freaks. Maybe roll a drunk or kick the shit out of a pimp. We got up to lots of stuff. Most of the people who come here don't dare complain."
"You know how dangerous that is?" The people of the Tenderloin are solicitous of their customers.
She gave me the look the young save for old farts who say dumb things. "What did we have to lose?"
Only their lives. But kids are immortal and invulnerable. Just ask them.
It wasn't yet dark but we had plenty of company on the outer fringe, where the offerings are relatively tame. Gentlemen were window shopping, barkers were barking, my angels were lurking, and a dozen prepubescent boys were trying to mooch copper. When I turned one down he took a big pinch of Maya's bottom and ran off. I roared in outrage, as I was suppose to do, and took a step after the brat, then the humor hit me. "You're on the other side now, sweetheart. You're one of the grown-ups."
"It hurts, Garrett."
I laughed.
"You bastard! Why don't you kiss it better?"
There in the tamer parts the houses display their wares in big bay windows. I couldn't help admiring what I saw.
"You're drooling, you old goat."
I probably was but I denied it.
"What's she got that I don't?" she demanded half a minute later. And I couldn't answer that one. The delicacy in question was younger than she and no prettier, but provocative as hell.
I needed blinders. My weakness was getting me into deep shit.
"There she is."
"Huh? Who? Where?"
Maya gave me a nasty look. "What do you mean, who? Who the hell are we looking for?"
"Take it easy. Where did you see her?" Grow up a little, Garrett. You got somebody's feelings to consider.
"Right up ahead. About a block."
Her eyes were better than mine if she could pick somebody out of the crowd at that distance.
I caught a glimpse of blonde hair in a familiar style. "Come on!"
We hurried. I tried to keep that hair in sight. It vanished, reappeared, vanished, reappeared. We gained ground. The hair disappeared in the swirl near the en- trance to a "theater" just opening for the first show. And it didn't reappear.
I was as sure as Maya that we'd spotted Jill.
I tried asking questions of the theater's barker. He was a lean whippet of a man, hide tanned from exposure to the weather. He didn't look like a nice guy. He looked at me and saw something he didn't like, either. The promise of five marks silver got me a look of contempt. This guy not only didn't know anything about any blonde, he'd forgotten how to talk.
Maya pulled me away before I tried to squeeze something out of him. One must be careful putting the arm on the help in the Tenderloin. They hang together like grapes, them against the world. "Next time how about I do the talking?" she said. "Even these jaded apes will listen to me."
They would, just to spite me. "All right. Let's go across the street and sit and give this a think." The Tenderloin does boast a few amenities absent from the rest of the city, like street-side loos and public benches. Anywhere else benches would get busted up for firewood and loos kicked down for the hell of it. Here the busters themselves would get broken up for kindling before they got done with their fun.
The organization has no patience with people who cost it money.
We went across. We sat. I considered the area and my options while Maya turned away offers by explaining that she was engaged. "Although," she told one would-be swain, "I might be able to shake this old guy later."
"Maya!"
"What do you care, Garrett? You're not interested. He looked like he might know how to have a good time."
Damn them all! I swear, before they let them go into puberty, they make them sign a contract in blood saying they'll cause us all the aggravation they can. "Give me a break, Maya. At least give me a chance to get used to the idea of you being a woman."
That put a smug look on her face. She chalked up six points for Maya on her secret scoreboard.
The majority of nearby businesses catered to spectators rather than participants. My stomach did a little growl and knot at the thought of Jill Craight starring in one of those shows.
Nothing is impossible, of course. I just didn't like it.
I didn't have much trouble believing it. The woman obviously had mental problems. I could see her making the kinds of connections that would convince her she was fit for nothing else. The human mind does weird things.
What amazes me is that we manage to cope as well as we do, that the race not only survives but manages to make the occasional stumbling advance. Maybe there is a force greater than ourselves, an engine driving us toward greatness.
It would be comforting to know my species is destined for something that will outshine its past and present. The Church, the Orthodox sects, all the Hanite cults and factions and denominations, offer that hope, but they've surrounded it with so much bullshit and in so many cases have given in to worldly temptations which act against the hope, that they've forfeited any right to guide us toward the brighter day.