‘You should go and sit with Emily,’ Mary suggested.
‘Is she still quiet?’
Mary sighed and nodded, turning her gaze to her husband. ‘She barely says a word these days. She does everything I tell her without question or demur. You know what she was like. .’
Relations had soured between father and daughter in the autumn. Emily had been full of ideas, wanting to become a writer, wayward, secretly seeing a man who’d turned out to be a killer, and she’d been so faithful to him that Nottingham had been forced to hurt her to find his name and stop more death.
After that, the house had become a place of brooding, simmering silences. Until Rose’s death; then life itself had become fringed with black. Emily’s quietness had turned inward; the girl had barely wanted to leave the house.
‘She liked to think for herself,’ he answered.
‘She thought she knew everything,’ Mary corrected him. ‘Now she’s so meek, it’s as if she’s a different person. She needs to get some heart back in herself.’
‘Maybe she’s not the only one,’ he said.
She looked questioningly into his face.
‘All of us,’ he explained.
After long moments, she nodded sharply, gathered her breath and began to speak. ‘Most of the time I feel like my heart’s going to break. I see something and it makes me think of Rose. It’s everything. You, Emily, this house. And I don’t know what I can do about it. I don’t even have the words to tell you about the things I’ve been feeling.’
‘You think I don’t feel all that too?’ His voice was soft, a little stung by what she’d said.
‘I don’t know.’ She wiped her hands on her apron, pausing, pulling together her words. ‘I mean it, Richard, I really don’t know. You go on to work each day. You come home. You exist, and all we do is talk about all the little things as if nothing had changed, as if Rose hadn’t died.’
‘I. .’ he began, but couldn’t go further. She was right.
‘As long as I’ve known you, you’ve rarely discussed your work.’ The emotions started to rush out of her, as if she’d kept them in a bottle and now she was uncorking it. Mary placed her hands firmly on the table, trying to anchor herself in place. ‘I know you’ve done it to protect us. I’ve always loved that about you. But now, when you don’t talk about work, and we daren’t talk about family, what do we have left to discuss safely?’
He reached out, covering her hand with his own, rubbing it slowly, feeling her rough skin under his. ‘I stopped at Rose’s grave on my way home,’ he told her. ‘I go there when I can. Sometimes I pray for her, sometimes I just speak to her in my head.’
‘Does it help?’ Mary asked.
‘I think so,’ he answered after a moment. ‘Sometimes I feel closer to her.’
‘I’ve been there, too,’ she said. ‘I’ve stood for hours. I’ve tried to pray. But all I’ve seen is some earth and no God around it. Rose isn’t there. Not to me.’
‘Where is she, then?’
Mary tapped her head, leaving a smudge of flour on her cap.
‘I talk to her, too,’ she said. ‘I tell her things, the little things I’m thinking or doing. And she talks to me. She answers me.’
Nottingham listened.
‘She should still be here. A child shouldn’t die before her parents.’
‘It happens all the time,’ he said softly.
‘I know that, Richard.’ Her voice flared with bitterness and injustice. ‘That doesn’t make it any better.’
‘No,’ he agreed.
‘I cry a lot. I’ll be doing something, anything, and I’ll start crying. Sometimes it feels like I’ll never stop. Sometimes I don’t want to.’
‘We both miss her, you know that.’
‘I’ve watched you,’ she continued, her gaze fixed on him. ‘After Rose died, you seemed lost, but it was as if you wanted to be that way. You wanted it to hurt. You didn’t want anyone too close to you, you wouldn’t have let me near if I’d tried.’ She paused. ‘Now you have this murder the city’s talking about, and suddenly you’re you again. You’re Richard Nottingham, the Constable. You have a purpose.’ Her eyes were large and moist. ‘You have all that. And I’m Mary Nottingham, I’m still here. I’m still surrounded by the same things, the same memories, every single day.’
Slowly, with tenderness born from years together, from happiness and grief, he gathered her to him. She cried softly as he held her close. Silently, he thanked God. She felt so familiar in his arms, so much a part of him, a part he’d missed in these last weeks.
She pulled back suddenly, not hiding the tears, and wiping them away with the back of her hands.
‘Let me finish here.’
He smiled then unfolded her from his arms. They’d begun again. Together.
He’d barely taken three bites of the pie before there was a hurried pounding on the door. Glancing apologetically at Mary and Emily, he rose from the table to answer it. Josh was there, his legs muddy, breath coming fast and steaming on the air so he was hardly able to push the words out.
‘Mr Sedgwick asked if you’d come, boss. Right now.’
‘What’s wrong?’ Nottingham asked.
‘It’s that man from Graves’s warehouse.’
‘Rushworth?’ The Constable felt the pit of his stomach fall.
‘Yes. He’s vanished.’
Ten
‘Damn it.’ Nottingham paused to think. He thought he’d covered everything, that he was in control again. ‘Go back,’ he ordered quickly. ‘Tell John I’m on my way. Get men out. Look where he lives. Look in the taverns in case he went there. Look everywhere. And I want whoever was supposed to follow him at the jail in an hour.’
Forrester took off again, running as fast as his legs would move. Nottingham knew the reality. They’d search. If they were very, very lucky, they’d find Rushworth. But even as he hoped, he knew the truth would almost certainly be different. Wyatt had snatched him. The next time they’d see the man would be as a corpse with the flesh stripped from his back.
He turned back to look pleadingly at Mary. Emily gazed at him curiously.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I have to go.’
Mary nodded in understanding. She’d heard the words so often before in their life together. He put on his old, plain buff coat, gathered up his greatcoat and swept out of the door, buttoning the garment as he walked quickly over the bridge and up Kirkgate, ploughing through the dense mud of the road.
At the jail Sedgwick was sitting behind the desk, frowning anxiously.
‘How did it happen, John?’ Nottingham asked angrily before the deputy could say anything. ‘There were supposed to be men on him.’
‘I had Morris following him. He’s not the best, but he’s usually reliable. He said Rushworth went down a ginnel. By the time Morris got there, Rushworth had vanished. He says he looked all over then came back here. Josh was on and he came and got me.’
‘Has someone tried his home in case Morris just lost him?’
‘I went over myself. Lives alone, his neighbours said. His wife died during the winter. Don’t worry, boss, I didn’t tell them anything.’
The Constable rubbed his chin, feeling the stiff rasp of stubble.
‘Have you talked to Morris?’
‘Aye, just for a minute, then I sent him out again.’
‘And what do you think. Is he telling the truth?’
He watched the deputy carefully framing his answer.
‘I believe him. He’s not a liar. He’s always been a solid man, boss, he does the work as best he can. It’s just. .’
‘What?’
‘He’s not too sharp. He’s fine for little jobs, but this might have been too much for him.’
Nottingham stared hard at Sedgwick. ‘So why did you pick him? You know how important this is.’
The deputy look back evenly. ‘You said you wanted men on it right away. He was there, the better ones weren’t.’
Nottingham grimaced in frustration.
‘I’m sorry, John, you were just doing what I’d ordered. I told Josh I wanted Morris back here. I’ll find out what happened. How many men do you have out looking?’