“Ben,” Jim Bob said, “you remember Calvin Hedges?”
“Arrested me for drinking a couple of times over in Smith County. Kept me overnight and let me loose. Hell, I was just a kid then. He still alive? He must be eighty years old.”
“Eighty-five,” Jim Bob said. “Claims his pecker still gets hard as a screwdriver. He isn’t sheriff anymore, but his boy Calvin, Junior, works for the FBI, and old Calvin owed me a couple of big favors. I called in one of them.
“I had him phone his boy and have the boy call me. Took a couple of days to arrange it on account of Junior was out of pocket, but he did call and said he’d do me the favor.”
“Pretty agreeable, wasn’t he?” I said.
“Like I said, his old man owed me a couple of favors, and the boy wanted to help pay them off. One of the favors the old man owed me had to do with Junior his ownself, and Junior knew it. He also knows I’m one of the good guys, and he was willing, after a line of bullshit, and me putting it on him pretty hard about how he and his old man owed it to me, to tell me what I wanted.”
“Freddy’s location,” I said.
“Wasn’t that easy. He wasn’t gonna put his neck in the noose that far. But he works in the records department and he gave me an access code to the central FBI computer. That’s kind of like a gal giving you the key to her apartment. I got another code or two from him and… Well, to make this a little easier on you folks, a computer, if you know what you’re doing, is a sneaky booger. There’ve been fifteen-year-old kids that knew how to use them and managed to break codes as tough as the Department of Defense. It takes time to do something like that, but you can damn sure do it. You got to first get some of them low-level access computers to give you what you need, and you use them to move up to the superusers. And if you’re real good like me, and you can get the codes you need without having to hunt for them, you can save yourself a lot of time and wiggle in there like a snake, and get what you want with less chance of getting caught with your drawers down. Them computers are something. You take one of them dudes and a modem and you can damn near do anything but walk the dog with ’em.”
“You know how to do all that?” Russel said. “You know about computers? Where’d you learn that?”
Jim Bob looked hurt. “A manual, you jackass. Hell, I’m smart as a whip. You know that. And I got sense enough to know you got to keep up with the times. Just because man was born with his butt hanging out didn’t mean he had to stay that way. He made clothes out of a bear’s hide, then cotton, then that synthetic shit. Same way with computers. That’s how things are now. You don’t keep up, it’s like some gal using the rhythm method instead of the pill. It don’t make sense.”
“Or,” Ann said, “it’s kind of like a man depending on a woman for birth control instead of caring enough to do something about it himself.”
“All right,” Jim Bob said. “You got your lick in. That too. And besides, you can get these little games to go with computers, and they’re neater’n hell. They got this one with this monkey that climbs a ladder and throws coconuts, and there’s all sorts of traps and pitfalls for the monkey, and it’s a challenge, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. There’s some others I been wanting to try, but they don’t just give those dudes away, you know.”
“Guess this is what you meant when you told Russel Radio Shack, huh?” I said.
“Yeah. And by the way, you just bought yourself a computer and modem for your business, I don’t need one. I got a big system at home.”
“I don’t want to buy a computer, and you said your fee didn’t count expenses.”
“I consider this an exception,” Jim Bob said.
I started to argue with him but decided it wasn’t worth it. Jim Bob was like a force of nature. If you were going to deal with him, you had to accept the consequences. The hard part would be dealing with Ann later. I hoped I could convince her my business needed a computer. I refused to look at her; things would be bad enough with her after they left.
“All right,” I said. “I roll over. Tell us what you found out for Christsakes, and just get on with it.”
“Bottom line,” Jim Bob said, “is he’s in Houston, using the name Fred Miller. The question now is, do we want to take this thing any further.” Jim Bob turned to Russel. “He’s your son, Ben, and it’s your choice. If you want to find him, we’ll do it. If not, we’ll just let it go, find out what Dane wants to know and the rest of it is so much wind.”
“He doesn’t sound like what I had in mind,” Russel said.
“He’s your son and you’ve come this far,” Jim Bob said, “and now that he’s away from that Dixie Mafia bunch, maybe things could be different. I don’t think he’s gonna be singing no hymns or nothing, but he might turn out all right. He might not even have been into anything real bad, just found out some real bad things. Maybe he squealed cause it was getting on his conscience… On the other hand, things could turn out a lot worse than you can imagine.”
Russel looked at me. “If you still have a mind to finance me so you can find out what you want to knou want ow too, then I’m for going on.”
“Can’t turn back now,” I said. “I’ve got to know.”
“See it through no matter what it costs you, huh?” Ann said.
I looked at her. “Sorry, but yeah.”
She shook her head but didn’t say anything.
“All right then,” Jim Bob said, “we do it. Tomorrow night, late, we leave this chickenshit town. I got me a promise to keep tomorrow, and I won’t be free till late.”
“What kind of promise?” Russel asked.
Jim Bob grinned. “Well, I promised this sweet little thing that works at the hotel restaurant that she could have my undivided attention all day, and I don’t break my promises. Besides, it wouldn’t be gentlemanly to deny her what may be the most rewarding experience of a lifetime.”
“I said it earlier,” Ann said, “and I’ll say it again. You don’t lack for confidence.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” Jim Bob said.
27
I woke up about three in the morning and rolled out of bed and sat on the edge and thought about the dream I’d had. I couldn’t quite recall it, no matter how hard I tried, but it had been dark and dreary and very sad. There were tears on my face. I think maybe I dreamed I died and no one cared. It didn’t make much sense.
I sat there thinking about it, and Ann rolled over and touched my back.
“You’ve got to see this thing through?”
“I do,” I said.
“I just have this horrid feeling it’s all going to turn out so ugly, baby.”
I didn’t tell her I felt exactly the same way. It was like I was a toy windup soldier pointed in a direction I couldn’t alter. I had no choice but to go until I wound down. The thought of being driven made me think of Russel, his dissatisfaction with life, the feeling that there was a hole in him and his soul was rushing out of it and he didn’t know if he could get it back. How did that happen? Could it happen to me?
“You’ll be careful?” Ann asked.
I turned back onto the bed and took her in my arms and pulled her to me and smelled the scent of her so strongly that there were tears in my eyes.
A man without a soul didn’t have anything to cry about, so I considered the tears a good sign.
“Please tell me you’ll be careful,” Ann begged.
“I will,” I said. “I’ll be careful.”
Jordan and I love you. We need you.”
I had needed my father, but he had left me. My mother had left me and I had needed her. I couldn’t remember either of them ever needing me. I thought of Dad holding me that last time and looking at me and telling me he loved me.
“Jesus,” I said.
“Make love to me,” Ann said. “Don’t worry about anything. Just make love to me.”
I kissed her and did just that. When we were finished, I lay there holding her. She smelled wonderful, an aroma concocted of perfume and sweat and sex. There in the bad light she looked very young, like the girl I had fallen in love with so many years ago. Her skin seemed smooth and untroubled by lines of worry, just the way it had been when she was young and things were simple and sleep canceled out all pain.