n say creeping, creeping, creeping on. Oh, look what happened when Timmy knocked the thing off the leaf it was creeping, creeping, creeping on. It's in the dirt, it's in the dirt! Is the thing creeping down in the dirt? Oh, look at the thing creeping down in the dirt. Where oh where could the thing think it is creeping down in the dirt to? Do you know where the thing thinks it is creeping down in the dirt to? Look, everybody, Timmy is getting it with his nail. But what about Tommy? Oh, Tommy is doing what Timmy is doing, only Tommy only has a spork. Timmy has a nail and Timmy has a spork. But Tommy only has a spork. What does Tommy only have? Tommy only has a spork. See the boys stick the thing with their things? The boys are sticking the thing with their things. But Tommy started sticking it after Timmy started sticking it and Tommy only sticks it the same way Timmy sticks it and Tommy can only stick it only with a spork. If Timmy sticks it this way, then Tommy sticks it this way. If Timmy sticks it that way, then Tommy sticks it that way. Only Tommy can only stick it with a spork. But Bobby, how about Bobby? Is Bobby doing anything at all? What is Bobby doing? Oh, I know, I know. Bobby is talking to himself in his mind. Bobby is saying things to himself in his mind. Bobby is getting ready for him to say something about something. The way Bobby gets ready for him to say something about something is for Bobby first to say it over and over again in his mind. So what is Bobby doing? Can you say what Bobby is doing? Bobby is getting ready for him to say something by practicing saying something over and over again in his mind. Bobby really wants to say things. But Bobby has to get them all set first in his mind. Look, everybody, look! See the thing? Oh, it has lots of colored dots on it and there is stuff all coming out. Who can see the colored dots on it and the stuff all coming out? Ooey, ooey, it's on my spork. Is it on your spork? Ooey, ooey, it got all over my spork. Wait, everybody, wait! Tommy has it all over his spork. Stick out your spork, Bobby. I don't want to stick out my spork. Oh, come on, Bobby, stick out your spork. No. Big baby. Am not, am not! If you're not a baby, then stick out your spork. I don't have to. What a big baby! Stick out your own spork. Oh fuck, what a big baby! I'm telling, I'm telling. Go tell. Who gives a shit if you go tell? Can't we just play? Jesus, fuck, what a big fucking baby! How come you came? Nobody asked you to come. Big stinking fucking baby can't even stick out his spork. Can't make me, can't make me. Who can't make you? You want to see us make you? Wait, wait, the thing, the thing — is the thing getting away? No, no, the thing is not getting away. How could the thing get away? Does anything ever get away? Not one thing in the world ever gets away. Isn't Timmy watching it? Timmy is watching it. Timmy is guarding it. Do you know the word guard? Say the word guard. Let me hear you say the word guard. I love getting it with a spork. This is the best, getting things with a spork. This is how you can really get things with something. Try it like this. Try it with a nail and spork both. This is the best, a nail and a spork both. Now it's bent in two different ways. It's bent up at one dot and bent around at another dot. You know why this is? Who can say why this is? Raise your hand if you can say why this is. It's because it's been getting stuck in its dots. Hey, stick it all of the way down so it's stuck right down through it into the dirt. Oh, hooray, hooray! Now Bobby knows something he can get ready to say. Suppose we listen. Everybody, everybody, shall we listen to Bobby's mind so we can hear what Bobby is trying to get ready to say? Fellas, fellas, what about we roll him over and see if he's got any of those darn dots of his anywhere on his tummy too. Okay, here is Bobby trying it another way. Guys, guys, let's roll him over and see what the deal is with him underneath. That was Bobby. That was Bobby in his mind getting ready for him to have something to say. Now here's Bobby being Timmy and Tommy in Bobby's mind. A-hole. You hear the a-hole say tummy? Up yours, a-hole. What an a-hole — tummy. Go home, you fucking tummy a-hole jerk. Bobby is such a fucking tummy a-hole jerk. Hey, you fucking tummy a-hole jerk, how would you like it if we take down your pants and look at what's on you underneath? Bobby's hand feels all sticky to him. Do you remember which boy's hand feels all sticky to him? Bobby, it's Bobby, it's Bobby's hand. Bobby is the boy whose hand feels all sticky to him. Mother gets out the meat. Mother gets out the bread. Mother gets out a tiny bottle with white stuff in it. Oh, but wait, wait. Where is the ketchup? Where is the mustard? Where in the name of all that is holy is that fucking jar that had that last little fucking bit of fucking bit of fucking mayo in it? Shall we listen for another little while to what is going on inside of Mother's mind? Songs, there are songs, it is almost all songs that Mother is singing to herself inside of Mother's mind — such as willow, tit willow, that's one. Such as the flowers that bloom in the spring, tra la. And ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found thee. And here comes the one that goes come, come, I love you only, O come, come to me. That's the last one, that's the last. Let's see if you can remember them all. It is time to see if you remember them all. First, what's first? Willow, tit willow. Second, what's second? The flowers that bloom in the spring, tra la. And next, say next? Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found thee. And last, last? Come, come, I love you only, O come, come to me. But what about the boys, the boys? Has Andy come yet? Has Lew? Who has come to Timmy's yard to play so far? Can you say who has come to Timmy's yard for them to play so far? Wait, wait, here is Andy. Hi, Andy. Hi, missus. Is Lew with you, Andy? Did you say Lew? Is Lew coming over? Really Lew? All in due course, Andy, all in due course. May I go play with Timmy, please? Why of course, Andy, of course. Take this spork and go look in the yard. Tommy's here. So is Bobby. All we need now is Lew. Be careful with your spork. Will you be careful with your spork? Tell the boys for them to be careful not to poke their eyes or anything. Can you do that for me, Andy? Yes, missus, I will. Oh, that's a good boy, Andy. Have a nice time playing. These sandwiches will all be ready for all of you in just a jiffy. O the flowers that bloom in the spring, tra la. O the flowers that bloom in the spring, tra la. Can you wait for Lew? I can't wait for Lew. Everybody, hey, everybody, say Lew! Hey, Andy. Hi, Timmy. Hi, Tommy. Hi, Bobby. Hey, what are you guys doing? You're not hurting that, are you? Don't hurt that. Let's just dig, okay? Let's play a game of digging, okay? Uh-oh, listen, it's Bobby in his mind. I'm turning the cocksucker over. Get out of the fucking way, you a-holes, I'm turning the cocksucker over. Scram, you darn cocksucking sons of darn bitches, I'm flipping the cocksucking sonofabitch over. Look how gooey my spork is, Timmy. You see how gooey my spork is, Timmy? Who has the gooiest spork, Timmy? Tisk, tisk, did you hear that, everybody? Shame on Tommy saying gooiest. All right, everybody, everybody all together now — shame, shame on Tommy for Tommy saying gooiest. Hey, Timmy, what are you rolling it over for? Did everybody see Timmy roll it over? Willow, tit willow. Meat. Bread. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. Then get the crusts all cut off. Then cut it all in quarters. Oh shit, it's all upside-down now and look at your spork. Missus, can I have a new spork? I'm busy, Tommy. Missus, I need another spork. Now, now, Tommy, didn't I give you a perfectly good spork to begin with? Look at it, missus, please. Now, now, Tommy — is Tommy going to cry? Oh, Tommy, can't you see I am busy making everybody lunch? You go back outside and just be patient. Can't I have that spork? How come I can't have that spork? Oh, Tommy, I am so disappointed in you. That spork is going to be Lew's spork. That spork's Lew's. Oh, missus, mine is all icky, icky, icky. Tommy, Tommy, am I going to have to send you home? Don't you see how nicely the other boys are all playing? Don't you want chocolate milk? Give me this one and Lew can have mine. Why can't Lew have mine? Oh, Tommy, I am so disappointed. How could you be such a disappointment to me? Don't you see how you're wrecking everything? Now look, now look, it sounds like Lew is coming. Is Lew here? Lew, is that you? How come Lew does not answer? Does Lew not know how to answer? Answer, Lew, answer! Here is what Bobby is getting ready to say. Let's listen to what Bobby is getting ready to say. Let's get something else. Squoosh it, squoosh it — then we'll go get something else. Oh, its back, look at its back! Its back is all bent crazy. See how crazy its back is bent? That's from the sporks. Do you know what else it's from? It's also from the nail. Its back is all bent all crazy like that from Timmy and Tommy sticking it in its back with sporks and with a nail. Were we watching when they did it? We were not watching when they did it. But they did it anyway. Did you hear what Andy just said? I'm hungry. Let's play a game of digging a little bit. We could play a game of digging a little bit and then by then we could eat. Get out the chocolate syrup, get out the milk. Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found thee. O come, come, I love you only, come, come to me. And Bobby, what about him? Bobby's getting ready. Do you hear Bobby getting ready? Let's get Andy, let's get Andy! We're all going to jump you and get you and really do something to you, Andy, if you don't give me your spork. Andy, I'm telling them they better jump you and smash you and beat the shit out of you if you don't give me your spork. Oh, hi, Lew! Yeah, hi, Lew! Did Mother give you a spork? Take a look at what we got over here. You see this, you see this? Get me that fucking rock! Oh, Lew, see how you can dig with a spork? We are going to play a game of digging with our sporks. Who wants to be captain? How about you, Lew? Do you want to be the captain? We were just waiting for you to be captain. Let's review. Shall we review? There is Timmy and there is Tommy and there is Bobby and Andy and who? Who is the last boy? Is it Lew? Yes, yes, the last boy is Lew. It is Lew who is littlest and last — so this would be one of the reasons among all the unrevealed reasons for us to watch out for Lew. Because Lew is littlest and last. Go get me that fucking rock! Could I borrow your spork, Lew, could I? Ass-wipe! Bunch of sissy ass-wipes! Take this plastic shit and get me the fucking rock! Come, come, I love you only, come, come to me. Who wants to see how gooey it can get? You want to see how gooey it can get? Look at them. See them things with them wings over there? And ants. Hey, how about we let us get some ants? Let's spork the shit out of a whole bunch of ants! The flowers that bloom in the spring, tra la, the flowers that bloom in the spring. Can't count any dots now, can you? Hand me the nail. It's my nail. Give me the nail. It's my yard and my nail. Can't we just play digging? Selfish little prick. I'll give it back. Give it here for a sec and I'll give it right back. It's his, it's his. Shut your face. Make him shut his face, Lew. Lew, I'd like to see you make him do it, Lew. Shut his yap for him. Shut his hole. Shut your hole! Willow, tit willow. Oh, everybody, look — here comes Mother with everything on a platter all ready for everybody to eat. Dive in, boys. Get ready to dive in. Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found thee. Ah, I know at last the secret of it all. Guys, guys, there is this great idea I've got which I have been thinking about. Hey, guys, no kidding around — don't you guys want to hear this great idea? It's spork-collection time. Mother, Mother, collecting all sporks! Each boy will wipe off his spork on his sandwich, face me and drop his spork at his feet. Stick the bitch, stick her! No, no, stick anything instead. What instead? There's never any instead. Come, come, I love you only, come, come to me. Answer me, answer me. Isn't answerability everything, Lew? Everybody, everybody, tell Lew. Is not answerability not the very thing of everything, Lew? Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found thee. Foon the bitch before she sporks us all to hell. But she did not have to. Mother did not have to. Remember the white stuff? Oh, come on, don't say you don't remember the white stuff! All right, here's a new one. Is a spork a foon, or a foon a spork? Raise your hand if you need extra help. A spork is not a foon because a foon is what? Gee willikers, class, see the white stuff go to work on them all? Anybody, anybody, come take a seat down in front if you cannot see the secret of it all.