His?
Meaning mine?
Fine, then make it weewee, swell.
CRAW
YOU KNOW ABOUT HANDEDNESS? Jesus, don't make me have to explain it to you about handedness. For Christ's sake, it's supposed to be something everybody knows, this way for this, that way for that. It's the rule of the whole works, one thing on the one hand, the other thing on the other hand. Isn't something as dumb as even a teacup handed? I'm almost positive of it, I am absolutely almost positive of it, even though there is absolutely no reason why I should have to know a thing like this about a teacup, is there? — because, oh come on, why should I, why should I, haven't I always been the same side of the way I'm handed as far as a teacup? Haven't I all of my life always been the same side as far as that? Which is why I am so incredibly pissed off with myself. I'm serious. I never used an expression like that, I have never once in my life ever before used such an expression as that, and this just goes to show you how exactly pissed off I am. Because I really am. And it's at myself, or with myself. And it's on account of something so incredibly stupid which I did which I really can't believe I did. It's hours now, it's been hours now, it's been almost half the day now since when I did it, and I am not, if you don't mind, I am not one bit less pissed off with myself even now after all of these hours later — I'm not, I'm sorry, I'm not! I expected it to, you know, to go ahead and dissipate. I expected it to like recede on me or something. Or from me. I expected I'd, you know, that I would get used to it. But forget it. It was a bitter pill then and it's a bitter pill now and I bet it is going to remain being a bitter pill stuck up inside of me in my craw until I kill myself. Because I'm sorry, but this is just how I feel — that the only solution for this is for me to kill myself. I mean, Jesus, how could I have been so stupid? I've got some nerve sitting here accusing a teacup when look at me. Who would believe this? Nobody would believe this. I am too ashamed even to tell you what I did — except for the fact I glued something and that when I glued it I paid no attention to the handedness of it — or anyhow the handedness of me. Okay, I dropped something, okay? I dropped this particular thing and, right, you bet, it broke all apart, okay? But so then I thought to myself hey, it's not so bad, it's not so terrible, cheer up, for Christ's sake, can't you glue? I mean I thought to myself dummie, you can glue it, dummie, don't you see you can glue it? So I go get out the glue. It's this great glue. It's this glue which they invented for when it's glued, that's it, that's how it is, it is really fucking glued. What I mean is is that with this glue if you try after that to get it apart after that, like the thing you're gluing after you glued it, you break it but really good. Because this is how tough this glue is. It's some kind of wonder glue, this glue, and this is what happens with it, this is what's the final deal with it, you get your one chance with this glue and that's it. So did I know this? I knew this. There was no question in my mind that I knew this. You can't say okay, the guy didn't know what the score as far as this glue was because I knew it, I knew it, I did, I did. Except I didn't make any allowance for this handedness thing, did I? I glued it for the wrong hand. It was supposed to go this way and I sat there and glued it for going that way. So now what? It's glued. It looks like it's new and it works like it's new, but it's glued for somebody who goes the other way than I go. And I keep sitting here thinking to myself there's got to be a way for me to get this thing cleared up. Because I cannot accept the fact I went ahead and wrecked everything in my life — I mean really absolutely went ahead and wrecked it as far as this gluing — for good.