Without another word spoken, Emily quickly turned and headed for the elevators. She wouldn’t go in to talk to him. She couldn’t. Pride kept her feet moving and kept them moving fast.
“Hey,” Gina called out. “Are you going to answer my question or not? Who are you?”
“Apparently, I’m no one. I had the wrong address,” she answered, badly wanting to cry.
Wanting to know that she wasn’t numb.
That she was still feeling.
As it turned out, she needn’t worry that she’d lost her ability to feel because her heart was crushed like a pressed flower in a tattered book. Her body desperately tried not to let go of the contents inside her stomach. Her spirit felt defeated, broken, beaten, and torn—its assault brought on by a man whom she was naive enough to trust. Worse, she was naive enough to believe he actually loved her.
By the time the elevator completed its descent to the main floor, despite her best efforts to contain it, Emily’s stomach decided to fight back, releasing the small amount of food it held. Right there in the middle of the crowded lobby, she dropped the bag of bagels onto the floor as she dry-heaved repeatedly after throwing up. Embarrassed by her display, her brain faintly registered the sound of a woman gasping in shock. Cupping her hand over her mouth, Emily fled from the building. The icy cold air shocking through her system offered no reprieve to her sweating flesh.
As the heart of the world hummed around her with commuters walking down the packed city streets, Emily fought to gather her senses and tried to swallow her pain. However, her wounds rang loud, like the rushing winds screaming in the wintry storm around her. Clenching her purse against her chest, she found herself walking, her thoughts wholeheartedly derailed. She made her way into a diner around the corner and took a seat at a table, her hands trembling—and not by the frigid temperatures outside.
Peeling the sleet-beaded coat from her body, she ran her fingers through her wet hair, and it was then that she completely lost it. The tears flowed steadily down her cheeks as she tried to make sense of what’d just happened. She tried to make sense of her toxic, muddied perception of who Gavin made himself out to be in front of her. In her eyes, he was the master of trickery, delivering nothing but words tainted with lies and betrayal. The long road they were supposed to travel together was now riddled with pieces of her heart—pieces that he’d strategically placed there for her to trip and fall over. He was everything she wanted, and apparently, she was nothing he needed.
Nothing.
He’d shown her what she really was to him—just another void-killer in his life.
Emily didn’t know how long she sat there in that diner crying, completely uncaring of patrons whispering and staring in her direction. By the time she hailed a taxi back home, she was torn, her heart feeling as if it’d been sent straight through a grinder. Eyes blurry from tears, she made her way into her bedroom, rid herself of her soaked clothing, and changed into a T-shirt and sweatpants.
After brushing her teeth, she moved into the living room and sank into the couch, her body still trembling. Gavin had stabbed her in the heart. He carefully ripped through her chest, exposing the pulsing red tissue with his lies, and no amount of sutures could close this wound. She surrendered who she was for who she thought they were going to be together. Nevertheless, none of it was real; it was all an illusion. She trusted him and thought she had decoded him. But now, the truth was simple to her. She’d been Gavin’s puppet for a night, and she had danced to the beautiful melodies he had played. However, she would never allow him to hurt her again.
Never.
Throughout the day, she ignored numerous texts from him, proclaiming how excited he was to see her tonight. At one point, he called, but she sent it straight to voicemail. Without listening to the message, she cleared it from her phone. It was obvious to her that he didn’t know he’d been caught, and all it did was sicken her further.
As her mind continued to wrap itself around everything, a subdued knock came at the door, temporarily pulling her from the nightmare Gavin’s lies had created. With dulled reflexes, she rose from the couch. Upon opening it, her heart suffered another devastating blow as her eyes met with Dillon’s. He wasn’t supposed to be back until tomorrow. She wanted to ask what he was doing there, but the words froze in her brain as the stretching silence between them enveloped the room.
His words came out soft and reluctant as he stared into her tear-soaked eyes. “Please…talk to me.”
Unable to move, she simply stared at him without a coherent thought able to pass through her lips. He tentatively lifted his arm, placing an unsteady hand on her cheek, and wiped away her tears. Her feet remained planted to the ground, but she broke out in hysterics as her body and mind fell apart under the pressure of two men. Dillon reached out to steady her, his hands gripping tight around her arms, as he pressed his forehead against hers. She stumbled back from the door, the sound of it snapping closed echoed through the apartment.
“Em, I’m so sorry, baby.” Dropping to his knees, Dillon circled his arms around her waist, pressing his face against her stomach as he, too, began to cry. Emily shook more, the ache in his voice and his crying nearly killing her. “Baby, I swear, I’m gonna go get help. I’m gonna stop drinking, Emily. God, please, I can’t lose you, baby. I can’t.”
Emily believed, without any interventions, that she was losing her mind. At one point, Dillon was the reason she was still alive, but here and now, he was one of the two reasons she felt like she wanted to die. She didn’t want to give him power through her tears, and the worst part was knowing that the man who was on his knees before her actually loved her. Gavin—on the other hand—tried, tested, and tortured her with his cruel and lying tongue, but her heart still ached for him. Her mind was firing off conflicting thoughts in every direction. There’d been a time when Dillon was picture perfect, but that had shattered, and all that was left were fractured pieces—a collage of what he’d once been in her world. As she struggled to stay afloat in the poisoned waters that the day had sunk her in, she knew she couldn’t deal with any of it.
Backing away cautiously, she looked down to him. “I can’t…I can’t talk about this right now,” she whispered, her body trembling. “You have to go, Dillon. Please. You have to leave.”
Still on his knees, he buried his face in his hands. His sobs piercing Emily’s ears sent a shiver straight down her spine. “Emily, please. I won’t make it without you. I won’t. I’ll fucking kill myself if you leave me.”
He rose to his feet, his body shaking, as he stepped toward her. He slowly lifted his hands to cup her dampened cheeks. “My God, baby, please give me another chance. Look at yourself. When I walked in, you were just as fucked up over us as I am. We need each other.”
As she grabbed onto his wrists, he leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes intense. “Let me make this good. Let me make this better. I was drunk, Emily. You know I would’ve never touched you if I wasn’t. I would’ve never, babe.”
“Plea…Please, Dillon,” she stammered, shaking her head. “You have to leave. I can’t do—”
“No, baby, please listen to me,” he cried with his forehead still pressed against hers. “I kept thinking about the first time I kissed you. I kept thinking about the first time we made love. Do you remember that? God, I’ll never take you for granted again, Emily. Please.”
She went to speak, but he wouldn’t let her. He crushed his lips to hers. She tried to back away, but he moved his hands to the nape of her neck, tears flowing from his eyes as he continued his pleas. “Do you remember what your mother told us before she died, Emily?”
Now she pulled away. Her eyes narrowed on him while her sobs became harder. She tried to catch her breath. “Don’t you dare bring her into this, Dillon. Don’t you dare.”
He stepped forward, once again placing his shaky hands over her cheeks. “She told us to take care of one another. She told us to stick through whatever uphill battles life throws at us and to never give up on our relationship. This is my battle, and you’re going to leave me like this, Emily? Let me fix it,” he whispered, sniffling. “I can fix it and make us better again. I can bring us back to where we used to be. “