‘I do not think — ’
‘No, my boy, I’m well aware of that!’ he said with a dry laugh.
‘What I mean is, I prefer my friendships to be with my friends.’
‘Ah. I have not just raised a scholar, I have raised an idealist, it seems. Well, my boy, I wish you well of it,’ he said, taking up his quill. ‘I hope you will be very happy. You will invite me to your lodgings one day ten years hence, I hope, so that I might see the splendours you have won with your labours.’
He said no more, but turned his attention to his books, and after waiting a minute or two to see if he would speak again, I left the room.
I wriggled my shoulders, as if to shake off something unpleasant, a habit acquired through long years of conversations with my father, and then I found myself wondering what he would have said if I had told him of my plan to marry Eliza. Would he have congratulated me on becoming affianced to an heiress? No, probably not. He would have berated me for not finding another one. Nothing would please him more than to marry Eliza to an earl and gain a string of great relations, and I believe he would have laughed at me if I had told him of my intentions.
I returned to my room and found that my trunk had already arrived. Dawkins had unpacked it and my evening clothes were laid out on my bed.
I had time to write a few letters before changing for dinner and then I went downstairs. Eliza was in the drawing room, her hair bound up with a ribbon that matched the blue of her eyes. Harry was already drunk. As we walked into the dining room, his gait was unsteady. My father merely smiled, as though Harry afforded him great amusement, and I guessed that this was not an unusual state of affairs.
‘I will be giving a ball in three weeks’ time,’ said my father to me as we began our meal. ‘It is a long time since we have had such a gathering at Delaford and it is time we entertained our neighbours. They need an opportunity to criticize our house, find fault with our arrangements, disparage the efficacy of our servants and revile our taste. Your studies will allow you time to attend, I hope?’
‘Yes, Father. As you know, I am on holiday now.’
‘Very true. But an industrious young man such as yourself might wish to work on high days and holidays. Indeed, if you are to advise the neighbouring farmers on their contracts, you must work hard now to make sure that you do not lead them astray in the future.’
Eliza glanced at me and we both hid our laughter behind our napkins, whilst Harry laughed outright.
‘What! You mean to become a lawyer!’ he said, reaching for the bottle and pouring himself another drink. ‘My brother, the attorney!’
‘It is a noble calling,’ replied my father gravely. ‘If your brother applies himself, then he might one day own a gold watch.’ He turned to Eliza. ‘I hope you are looking forward to the ball, my dear. Now that you are seventeen it is time you went into company. You have your new gown, I know, and a very pretty gown it is, I am sure, but is there anything else you require? You have only to ask and it will be yours.’
‘A fan, perhaps,’ said Eliza, ‘and some new slippers.’
‘Then you must go into town and buy anything you wish. You will be opening the dancing with Harry, so you must look your best.’
Eliza looked at Harry and then sighed as he spilt wine down his coat, but he only laughed and poured himself another glass.
I was glad when the meal came to an end. When Eliza withdrew, my father and Harry were silent, and I waited only five minutes before following Eliza. She was singing with great sweetness when I entered the drawing room, and as I sat and listened to her, I thought I would endure a dozen such evenings for the pleasure of hearing her voice.
My father and Harry did not follow for some time, but when they returned, they robbed our time together of its sweetness. Eliza finished her song and then retired. I soon followed. If not for Eliza, I would be off again tomorrow, but her presence keeps me here.
Friday 26 June
I rose with the dawn, awakened by the birds, which sang lustily outside my window. I was soon dressed and went down to the stables, where I lost no time in saddling Ulysses and setting off across the fields. There was an early mist which hugged the ground, turning the green fields white, but it soon burnt off to reveal a glorious day. The sky was a brilliant blue and skylarks soared, and I felt my heart expand with the joy of being at home again. I rode down to the village and then I walked back along the country lanes with the trees making a canopy above me.
I returned to the stable yard with a hearty appetite, and having given Ulysses into the charge of my groom, I went inside. There was no sign of Harry but my father was there, eating his breakfast. He looked up once as I entered the room, but after a few remarks on the poverty of lawyers, he returned to his steak. Soon afterwards he finished his meal and, without another word to me, left the room. I helped myself to ham and eggs from the food laid out on the sideboard and made a hearty meal.
Sitting back at last, I looked out of the window, over the lawns and down to the lake. It was a perfect morning for rowing, and I decided to see if the boat was in good order or if it had been allowed to decay.
I went down to the boathouse and I was pleased to find that the boat was sound. Once I had taken it out and tied it up by the jetty, I returned to the house to ask Eliza if she would care to spend the morning on the water.
As I approached, I heard music coming from the ballroom. When I passed the window, I saw Eliza practising her steps with an elderly gentleman whose hair was white and whose shoulders were bowed. I laughed, and she turned and saw me. I clutched my hand to my chest in a charade of a broken heart, and she had the goodness to laugh, too. I heard her dancing master asking her what she found so amusing, and she was chastened until the lesson came to an end.
I waited for him to leave and then I joined her in the ballroom.
‘What are you doing here?’ she asked me. ‘I thought you were out riding.’
I pulled a tragic face.
‘I have come to release you from our engagement. I see now that I was wrong to ask for your hand. Your dancing master is so handsome that I cannot keep you from him. I wish you happy, my dear.’
She looked at me saucily, and stopping only to fetch her bonnet, gloves and parasol, she took my arm and walked out into the garden with me.
‘Were you a little bit jealous?’ she asked me.
‘My dear Eliza, I was so jealous that, if he had been as handsome as you declared, I would have asked my father to dismiss him at once.’
‘Good. I am glad you were jealous.’
‘And I am jealous of Harry for being able to open the ball with you.’
She frowned.
‘I would rather open it with you. But I am only to dance the first two dances with him and then my card is empty.’
‘Then you must dance the next two with me.’
She sighed happily.
‘Is this not perfect, James?’ she asked, looking round her. ‘The sun up above and the scent of the roses perfuming the air? How I love the summer. I believe I could never bear to leave here, with everything so dear to me, if it were not for you. We must have a rose garden when we are married.’
‘We will have one, even if I have to make it for you myself,’ I promised her. ‘And we will have everything else your heart desires. My father may laugh, but I am young and ambitious, and I have a reason for succeeding. We will be happy and prosperous, Eliza.’
‘I do not doubt it.’
We walked down to the water’s edge and I helped her into the boat. She steadied herself as it rocked from side to side and then, having gained her balance, she sat down, arranged her skirt and opened her parasol, which framed her face as beautifully as a picture.