“As he should have,” Holly said.
Callie rolled her eyes.
“You don’t approve?” Lily asked Holly. The last thing she wanted was to drag her future mother-in-law to a tattoo parlor if the idea horrified her.
“Oh it’s not that. Callie was a lot younger then and had no business getting a tattoo. What she does when she’s older is her business. And I’m going with you two. It sounds like a lot of fun.”
Her eyes twinkled and Callie and Lily cracked up laughing at the idea of Holly hanging out in a tattoo parlor.
“Oh God,” Callie groaned. “We can not tell the dads what we’re doing. They’d have ten kittens and they’d tie us to chairs for the rest of the day.”
Holly put a hand over her mouth but she nodded her agreement.
“There’s another thing,” Lily said softly.
“Go on,” Callie encouraged.
“We’d need to be there overnight. I want to get the tattoo first. But then…then I’m going to go see my ex-husband.”
Callie sucked in her breath and Holly’s smile dimmed. She reached over and took Lily’s hand in hers, squeezing.
“Do you really think that’s wise? He hurt you, honey. Don’t give him another chance to hurt you again.”
“That’s just it,” Lily breathed. “I let him do and say all those things. I never fought back because I didn’t feel like I deserved better. I believed in my heart that everything he said was true and that he was justified. But he was wrong,” she said fiercely. “He had no right. He was wrong, and I won’t let him get away with it. I have to confront him. I have to lay my demons to rest if I want to go forward with a new life with Seth, Dillon and Michael. I want to look him in the eye and tell him what a bastard he was for telling me I killed our child.”
Tears ran freely down her cheeks. She was angry. Furious, even. But just saying the words. Her child.
It made grief soar through her all over again.
Callie hugged her from one side while Holly wrapped her arms around both girls and rocked back and forth.
“You get mad, honey. You get pissed off. You’re exactly right. He was a cock-sucking bastard for what he did to you.”
“Mom!” Callie blurted.
Lily shoulders shook with helpless laughter at the shock in Callie’s voice over Holly’s crude language.
“Well he is,” Holly huffed. “What kind of asshole lays the blame at his wife’s door when he wasn’t man enough to step up and help ease her burden? I hope you don’t blame yourself anymore, Lily.” Holly leaned away and brushed her fingers through the strands of Lily’s hair. “You have to know it wasn’t your fault. What happened was a terrible, horrific thing that no mother should ever have to endure.
But it wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault.”
“I know that now,” Lily said in a low voice. “For so long, I didn’t feel like I deserved forgiveness.
Now I realize that I first have to forgive myself. And I have to face down the man who betrayed me in a way no woman should ever be betrayed. I can’t not confront him. I’ve been thinking about this all week.
It’s something I have to do for me. So I can be whole again.” She glanced between Callie and Holly. “The guys asked me to marry them.” Callie’s entire face lit up. “And? You said yes, right?”
“I asked them to ask me again in a few days,” Lily said quietly. “I need to do this first so that I can come to them free of my past. Without any baggage. So we can have a fresh start.” Holly stood. “Well then, what are we waiting for? Let’s get this girl to Denver so she can get back and put my boys out of their misery.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
“That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” Lily said as she and Holly and Callie walked out of the tattoo parlor.
She rubbed at her hip, feeling the bandage through the denim of her jeans. “I was expecting a lot worse.”
“You did great,” Callie complimented. “I think it looks awesome, and I think my brothers will think it’s damn sexy. They’re cave-mannish that way. To them it’ll be like they’re branded on you. Their stamp of ownership, so to speak.”
Lily laughed. “I’ll let them think that, anyway.”
“Now you’re catching on,” Holly said as they climbed into the Rover.
Callie leaned up from the back seat. “So, uhm, Mom, what did you tell the dads we were doing, anyway?”
Holly pulled into traffic and started back toward the hotel. “I simply told them that I was going to spend some quality time with my two daughters, and I might have gone a little overboard in the sense that I let them believe that you needed some mothering, Lily.”
“You’re so evil, Mom. I like it,” Callie said in a gleeful voice.
“A girl can always use mothering,” Lily said as she shot Holly a grateful look.
Holly reached over and squeezed her hand. “I know you do, honey. Now, what we need to do is get you back to the hotel so you can relax for a while. Then what do you say we order in room service. Get into our jammies and eat some yummy food while we figure out your plan of attack for the morning.”
“Room service sounds divine,” Callie said. “Jammies and girl time only make it better. I want to check out your tat again when we get back to the hotel, Lily. The artist there does such good work. I’m seriously considering getting something done. I just haven’t settled on just the right art yet. Maybe you could draw me something.”
Lily smiled back at her. “I’d love to. Whenever you have an inkling of what you’d like, just let me know and we’ll see what we can come up with.”
They valet parked at the hotel and went immediately up to the suite that Holly had booked.
“You girls get into your PJ’s and tell me what you want to eat. I’ll order it up,” Holly said.
“You pick for me,” Lily said. “I’ll eat anything.”
“Same here, Mom. You know what I like. Just get a lot of it.”
Holly smiled. “Okay, then. Hop to it. I’ll get our order placed.” Callie followed Lily into the second bedroom of the suite they were sharing. “Can I see it again?”
“Sure,” Lily said.
She unzipped her jeans, peeled them away from her skin and let them fall to the floor. Then she stretched out on her side on the bed and carefully pulled the bandage away on one side.
“It’s amazing, Lily. Seriously. You have such talent. I know the guy inked you, but this is your design. It’s so intricate. It must have taken you hours to get all the detail you put into it.”
“Try days,” Lily said ruefully. “It’s all I’ve worked on for the last week. I drew and I pondered what I wanted to say to Charles.”
Callie grimaced and then plopped onto the bed next to Lily. “I admire you for doing this. I wish…I wish I had the balls to stand up and say, hey fuck you, you were wrong.”
“Is that what happened to you?” Lily asked softly. She replaced the bandage that the artist had told her to leave on for a few hours.
Callie hesitated for a long moment. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. I…I fell hard for someone. I thought he fell just as hard. I was wrong. He took what he wanted and then he was gone without a word.” Lily eased up and then wrapped her arms around Callie. “I’m sorry. That must hurt so much.” Callie hugged her back. “I’ll be okay. I ran home to lick my wounds, and to be honest, I haven’t had the desire to leave again. Maybe that’ll change or maybe I’ve changed. I’ve always been so restless. Ready to take on the world. See new places. Meet new people. Right now I like being surrounded by my family—
people that I know love me and would never hurt me. That’s comforting, you know?” Lily squeezed. “Yeah, I do know. Boy, do I know. I’ve felt that way ever since I met your brothers and was welcomed into your family. I’ll never be able to express to any of you just how much that meant to me.”