Adam started to argue, but Ryan stopped him.
“Just go. Please.”
It was the please that did it. Ryan rarely said please, and pain edged his voice. Adam knew he didn’t want to be weak in front of his brothers. Anger choked him. Anger at whatever the hell had destroyed so much in his brother.
Adam turned around and walked out of the barn.
Holly burrowed deeper under the covers, not wanting to leave her warm nest. She was tired, deliciously exhausted, and she had about as much motivation to get up and move as she did a trip to the dentist.
She closed her eyes and relived the ecstasy she’d experienced as the three men had made love to her. Alone they were a force to be reckoned with, but together they were positively mind-blowing.
She missed them already. That feeling drove her out of the bed as she went in search of them. She pulled on one of Adam’s discarded shirts and let it fall to her knees. She walked barefooted down the hall, hoping to find one of them in the living room so she could indulge in a good snuggle session.
She found Ethan on the couch. He smiled at her and patted the spot beside him. She immediately curled herself around him, loving the warmth that emanated from his body.
“Want a blanket?” he asked as he wrapped his arms around her.
She shook her head. “You’re fine.” She burrowed further into his arms until his heat had soaked into her body. “Where is everybody?”
“Ryan’s out in the barn and Adam’s on the phone in the kitchen.”
“Who’s he talking to?”
“Our parents.”
She stiffened. Until now she hadn’t given their parents a single thought. They’d existed as a non-entity. She remembered Adam mentioning them once when he explained that his mother, like her, participated in a relationship with three men.
“Something wrong?” Ethan asked.
“Your parents…do they know about me?”
He smiled down at her. “They do now.”
She couldn’t control the look of dismay, and she knew Ethan saw it.
He arched an eyebrow. “You look less than thrilled.”
“Do they know everything?”
Ethan continued to stare at her. “I’m sure Adam has filled them in on the situation.”
Holly groaned. “Not the image I want to present to your parents.”
“Oh hush. They’ll love you. They’ll be thrilled we found you.”
Adam walked in holding the phone to his ear. “All right, Dad. I’ll give you to Ethan, and I’ll talk to you later.”
He handed the phone to Ethan, and Holly moved away. She felt awkward being talked about. She headed to the kitchen to escape the conversation. As she poured a glass of juice from the fridge, Ryan stepped in the back door.
She smiled shyly at him. “Good morning.”
Pain glittered brightly in his eyes, and he limped as he walked.
“Ryan, what’s wrong?” she exclaimed. She set her juice down and rushed over to him.
As soon as she touched him, he stiffened. “I’m fine.”
She backed off, hurt at his demeanor.
He closed his eyes and put out a placating hand. “I’m sorry. I’m fine, really.”
She curled her hand back around her juice and maintained her distance. She didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing.
Ryan stared at her for a long moment then limped into the living room. His rebuff stung, but more than that, she wondered what had happened.
She sipped at her juice and sighed. Living with three unique personalities could get exhausting. If she were more secure in the relationship maybe she wouldn’t be on eggshells all the time, but she was still learning all three of them.
Ethan was so open, and Ryan was his complete opposite. Reserved, shut off from the rest of the world. And Adam, well, she was still trying to figure him out, too.
“Don’t take it personally,” Adam said.
She looked up to see him standing in the doorway Ryan had left through.
“What’s wrong with him?”
Adam opened the fridge and took out a beer. He popped the cap and took a long swig. “It’s his leg. He got a leg full of shrapnel over in Iraq. Did a lot of damage. He’s getting better, but it still gives him a lot of pain from time to time.”
“And he won’t talk about it to anyone?” she asked.
Adam shook his head. “I wish to hell he would.”
Holly set her glass down and ran her finger around the rim. “Your parents. They’re like us, aren’t they?”
Adam nodded.
“So they won’t think anything bad about me.”
She tried not to make it a question, but somehow it came out inquiring anyway.
Adam smiled. “Relax, baby. They’ll love you.”
Ethan ambled into the kitchen. Adam looked up from his beer. “You done with Mom and Dad?”
“Yeah, Ryan’s talking to Mom now. I expect he’s getting an earful. She’s pretty worried about him.”
Adam looked over at Holly again. “You probably ought to get packed up today. We’ll head out early in the morning.”
She smiled. “Not much to pack.”
“We’ll remedy that in Denver,” Ethan said. “We’ll take you shopping for whatever you need.”
She grinned mischievously. “Even underwear?”
“Especially underwear,” Ethan replied.
“If I had my way, you wouldn’t wear underwear,” Adam murmured close to her ear.
Ryan walked into the kitchen, his features drawn. He slid the phone across the bar then turned and limped out.
Holly followed his progress, her heart aching at the pain in his expression. What would it take to get beyond the barriers he’d erected?
She wasn’t sure what had awakened her, but her eyes fluttered open and searched the darkness for what had disturbed her sleep.
Holly strained her ears for the source of the noise she’d heard. A low moan filtered down the hall then an inarticulate cry. She sat up and glanced frantically around. Adam and Ethan were sound asleep in bed next to her, but Ryan was gone.
As carefully as she could so as not to wake the guys up, she eased from the bed. The house was chilly, and she shrugged on Adam’s flannel shirt for warmth.
She padded down the hall toward the noise, ending up at Ryan’s door. She pushed it open and peered inside. Ryan was on the bed in a tangle of sheets. The comforter was twisted and lay discarded on the floor.
He moaned again and stirred restlessly, his head shaking from side to side.
“No,” he said in a thick voice. “God, no. Stop for God’s sake, she can’t take any more.”
Holly moved closer, shocked to see Ryan’s face bathed in tears. Her chest constricted painfully. She sat down on the bed next to Ryan and put her hand on his forehead.
“Ryan, it’s okay. It’s me, Holly. Wake up.”
He let out a torturous cry, the sound hitting her directly in the heart. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, pulling him against her. She held him, rocking back and forth, running her hands through his tangled hair.
In response, he curled his arms around her, squeezing her tightly against him.
“I’m here, Ryan,” she whispered. “You don’t have to be afraid any more.”
“Holly?”
His voice was muffled by her chest. He sounded confused. Uncertain.
She trailed her fingers through his hair, soothing him. “I’m here.”
He tensed in her arms then pulled slightly away. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
But she wouldn’t let him shove her away. “Talk to me, Ryan,” she said softly. “What happened to you?”
He leaned back closing his eyes. She followed him down to the pillow, curling her arm around his stomach. She waited, not pressing him. She sensed an internal battle raging.
He scrubbed a hand over his face and took a deep breath. “We got caught with our pants down behind enemy lines. Our mission went down the toilet in a matter of minutes. Most of my team managed to get out but I got a leg full of shrapnel from a mortar round. I fell behind. They fucking left me there.”