Problem 2: You carry on masturbating pleasurably for a long time without ejaculating, but you do not have an orgasm.
This is another fundamental problem, and is the other side of the coin of Problem 1. In the case of Problem 1 you do not have a non-ejaculatory orgasm because you ejaculate; in the case of Problem 2 you don’t because you do not have an orgasm at all. If this is your problem, typically you will be very stimulated and experience a high degree of pleasure, but you will not know how to “finish” the job. You will continue building up enormous frustration because of mounting sexual tension. The only way to resolve this is – well - to learn how to orgasm without ejaculation.
A likely cause of your problem is that you stop moving or stroking because you do not want to ejaculate. That means that you stop at no 99 (or 98 or 90) and you do not continue to 100. You have to continue moving until you orgasm. You have to trust your body not to betray you. You will not ejaculate as long as you breathe and contract your muscles as the orgasm approaches. That means you must relax. Once you start stressing about ejaculating, you will. Remember to move slowly and deliberately.
You should be able to avoid almost any ejaculation by pushing out your breath strongly. Exhale hard if you are worried that you are about to ejaculate. But carry on stroking until you reach that wonderful point where you just know it cannot go on like this; something’s gotta give. Then move on through that point. Something will give: you will come.
Every time that you breathe out hard while close to orgasm, you should feel a warm wave of pleasure flooding through your body. That will be the beginning of your orgasm. Pursue it relentlessly. Ride it until you slump down, momentarily spent. You will never look back.
You will get better and better at this. Your success will feed on itself, because the key to it will be relaxation. The more successful you are in having multiple orgasms, the more relaxed you will be, and the more success you will have.
Problem 3: You feel on edge and jittery all the time
This problem is the natural consequence of Problem 2. Problem 2 means you do not go to orgasm because you stop too early. That is naturally causing stress to build up in your body, hence the feeling of edginess or jitters. You never have any release or satisfaction. As soon as you learn to get release from a non-ejaculatory orgasm, you will lose the sense of edginess or jitters.
A variation of the same problem is that you actually come, but you do not breathe properly all the time. You expel your breath on reaching orgasm, but some time during the process you abruptly stop breathing out, and still keep on tensing up in an attempt at “getting the orgasm out”. You will probably orgasm, but you will not release all your tension. Remember, your breathing (in conjunction with contractions) is how you release tension. It is a bit like lifting heavy weights in the gym without breathing out. The blood will go to your head and an immediate increase of blood pressure will occur. Relax by breathing before, during and after coming.
Problem 4: You get headaches
This is most likely a manifestation of Problems 3 and 2. Headaches are a classical stress symptom, and are the result of the fact that your energy does not dissipate through an orgasm.
Headaches may also be the result of dehydration, which is dealt with below under Problem 5.
When you practice multi-orgasmic masturbation properly, your sexual energy should circulate throughout your body, and not pool in one place, especially your head. The literature describes a number of exercises that you can do to circulate the energy throughout your body, and especially to ensure that it does not build up in your head. I have not mastered all these exercises, but describe some of the more simple ones that I have adapted and that work for me:
First of all, I have mainly focused on breathing deeply while masturbating, and most importantly, on masturbating to satisfaction through orgasm. That should prevent any headaches.
Once you have had an orgasm and you want to stop your current session, and you still feel that there is some residual tension in your penis, your head or body, here are a number of things you can do:
Firstly hold your erect penis as you had it while masturbating (ie with your fingers encircling it) but making sure to touch only the outer skin. Gently and slowly move forward until the skin is pulled as far as it can go, and with the same hand squeeze a drop of pre-cum from your penis head if possible, then slowly pull back, imagining that you are “drawing” the last energy from your penis every time you pull forward. Keep on breathing.
I also find that residual energy can be drawn from the penis by gently massaging the balls for a minute or so – all the time while breathing deeply and easily. This is surprisingly relaxing and pleasant. If done after masturbating, it normally does not lead to further stimulation.
You can also lie very still and breathe deeply. Focus especially on exhaling and feeling the energy dissipating. Imagine the energy passing into your head and then going down back into your body, passing through your belly and into your legs. Carry on until your head feels relaxed, and there is no buildup of energy or pressure in your head.
Then do this: stretch your whole body by contracting all your muscles from head to toe. You can do this by lying on your back and lifting your buttocks off the surface where you are lying, and try and rest your entire weight on your heels and shoulders. That way you should be contracting most of your big muscles, and distribute more of your energy.
Another useful exercise is this: While lying on your back, bend your legs at the knees and spread them. Now touch your forefinger to the opening to your anus at the top end (the end closest to your penis) and massage that point by repeatedly pressing down on it, while continuing to breathe deeply. The gurus say you should repeat this 81 times. I do not believe it needs to be exactly 81 times, but you should carry on for a minute or so. You will really enjoy this exercise. It is pleasantly relaxing and draws energy from your penis.
A very good way of ending your session is simply to lie very still, close your eyes and breathe, while you allow the feeling of gratitude wash over you. I find that after such a session I normally feel so happy that I want to give thanks. I am so grateful for the privilege of such pleasure, that I do not simply want to break off the session without acknowledging my happiness.
Finally, you do not want all the sexual energy to dissipate. This may be a matter of taste and style, but I enjoy a bit of a tingle or buzz in my body after a session. I want this to continue as long as possible, and it often does for at least a further two hours. This should be enough to make you feel good, but not cause a headache.
Problem 5: You feel thirsty, headachy, weak or generally tired, or your eyeballs ache.
This is most likely the result of dehydration. Dehydration is caused by a loss of fluid and a loss of essential minerals like sodium, magnesium, potassium and zinc. You should first of all drink at least 10 glasses of fluid a day, and from time to time rehydrate with a sports drink that contains electrolytes. (Energade, USN, Gatorade)
Problem 6: You cannot get an erection