In a way erectile dysfunction may be the result of a more far-reaching problem, and it can have many causes. That topic is beyond the scope of this book. Here we assume that you have had normal erectile function before, but during the course of your practicing multi-orgasmic masturbation you gradually encountered an inability or partial inability to become erect. This is possibly the result of sexual exhaustion as the result of the depletion of chemicals that are normally supplied by your body, and which you may have to supplement. To deal with this problem, I invite you to read Chapter 7: Too much of a good thing?
You must also remember that an erection does not occur on command. It is normally the result of sexual stimulation. Reread the section in Chapter 3 about learning how to play with yourself in a non-erect state. The key here is to remember that less is more. Gently does it. Tease yourself by touching yourself lightly, tentatively, tenderly. Try and coax goose bumps out of your skin. Above all, enjoy the moment of touching yourself. Never, ever “try” and get an erection. Your masturbation session should start by your undressing, relaxing, breathing deeply and touching yourself ever so gently while focusing on every feeling. Once you feel any pleasure – and it is hard to imagine that you will not be able to coax some pleasure out of touching or stroking your balls, penis, thighs, buttocks, anus and stomach – then continue enjoying that pleasure. Forget about moving on and manipulating your penis until you have an erection. If you should have an erection, it will come, believe me. Be happy in that moment. Trust me, unless you learn to enjoy that moment, you are not going to enjoy stroking yourself if you eventually have an erection. Because then you are going to start chasing an orgasm, and once again fail to enjoy the moment.
I should just add here that problems with getting an erection would normally not occur as long as you practice regular multi-orgasmic masturbation and do not ejaculate. That way your natural sexual energy is preserved, and over the medium term should even increase. This is because you accumulate the energy and do not waste it through ejaculation.
It may of course happen that you suffer from a temporary relapse because of a recent ejaculation. I have found that if I have been very active and having long sessions of multi-orgasmic masturbation before, and I then suddenly ejaculate, my energy will be more depleted than if I have been less active before.
Also, not all ejaculations are equal. Sometimes you will ejaculate a little bit, but because you are not vigorously pumping yourself to exhaust every drop of semen, you will retain some of your available energy and recover quickly.
Sometimes it is good just having a break from all sex. Normally 24 hours or 48 hours should be more than ample, and you will be surprised to learn how beneficial that can be.
If you want to use pornography to stimulate yourself to an erection, remember that that would not address the underlying problem. Normally if you fail to get an erection, it is because your body has been sexually exhausted for some reason or other. Besides being a form of fantasy that should preferably not be used during masturbation for that reason (more about which in Chapter One and Two), pornography will not add to the available resources of your body; it will probably exhaust them further, thus exacerbating the problem.
Sometimes you may find that you are just battling to concentrate on what you are doing, and some pornography – not to mention contact with a real woman – may just be what you need to focus your mind. I prefer that porn be used before actually starting to masturbate, so that you can focus on yourself and get the best value out of your session. As a rule of thumb, the pornography should stimulate you so that you get an erection without touching yourself, or perhaps only by touching yourself lightly. Otherwise you are probably flogging a dead horse and need a more drastic intervention, for which read Chapter 7 on supplements and similar remedies.
Problem 7: You feel nothing:
It can happen that you get an erection, or that you do not get an erection, but you do not have the “feeling” of pleasure that you normally expect. Sometimes you have neither the ability to get an erection nor any feeling. This is probably a further variation on the theme of sexual exhaustion discussed under the previous problem. You should likewise read Chapter 7 to deal with this problem.
Problem 8: You are exhausted all the time
Multi-orgasmic masturbation is like riding a bike for the first time. You will want to carry on and on, and never stop. But sooner or later you will get tired. There is not an activity in the world that you cannot overdo. I suggest you read Chapter 7 on sexual exhaustion in dealing with this. Otherwise, use your head. Multi-orgasmic masturbation is a powerful weapon. Use it unwisely, and it can destroy you. Use it wisely, and you will enjoy pleasure such as you have not known before.
Problem 9: You get cold-like symptoms or an upset stomach.
I have on occasion suffered from a cold which I link to exhaustion due to masturbation. This has dissipated over time, and I believe the problem is one of lowered immunity as the result of sexual exhaustion. Now that I seldom feel exhausted, I do not have problems with colds or similar afflictions either.
Problem 10: You get a pain on the pit of your stomach.
When I masturbate a lot, I sometimes get a pin on the pit of my stomach. I believe it is the result of the contractions of my abdomen that upsets my digestive system over time, and causes gas to form. The best way to deal with this is to take a break of a day or so. You can also massage your intestines by using your fingers to press into your intestines while completely relaxing your stomach muscles.
Problem 11: Your penis pains.
You can have different kinds of pain or discomfort in your penis due to masturbating. A burning sensation and redness around the rim of the head or under the foreskin, possibly accompanied by flecks of white mucus-like discharge and an unpleasant smell, could mean that you are suffering from yeast infection, or candida. This is caused either by direct exposure to yeast, for example to another person who suffers from candida or to an infected area. It can also be caused or exacerbated by too much yeast in your diet, leading to yeast intolerance and -overgrowth. Try washing your penis, especially the affected parts, several times daily with cold water (no soap). Always dry your penis softly with a towel and keep it dry. If that does not help, try an over-the-counter candida remedy that you buy from your pharmacy. If your problem persists, try avoiding yeast-containing foods, including mushrooms, cheese, bread, beer, wine, vinegar and soya sauce.
Your penis may simply show some wear and tear from frequent use. One manifestation of this is where the shaft is sensitive to the touch and presents with deep-tissue pain when you masturbate. This is probably the result of exercising too much pressure when you masturbate. It is not necessary to grip your penis hard. In fact, you may well detract from your own pleasure doing that. As always, softly and gently does it. If you feel you absolutely want to go harder, spare it for the actual orgasm. Also consider taking a break for a day or so.
Too much friction on the head of the penis may cause chafing, showing up as redness and/or tiny bumps on the rim of your penis head that are sensitive to the touch. Never rub the head of your penis with your bare hands without using a good lubricant. Otherwise wash regularly as suggested above, and take a break until the chafing goes away.
Problem 1: No matter how hard you try, you keep on ejaculating.
Relax. Breathe in and out and enjoy the moment. Contract your upper body as you exhale.
Problem 2: You carry on masturbating for a long time without ejaculating, but you do not have an orgasm.