I enjoy watching myself masturbating – either in the mirror or simply by keeping my eyes open and focusing on what I do. Sometimes I close my eyes in order to focus on my physical sensations, and adjusting my movements in response thereto.
Move your hand in such a way that you make slight adjustments to the pressure points touched by your fingers. If a change feels better, keep that position of your fingers. If it does not, move back to the previous position or another position that feels better.
This whole process is part of the art of conscious living, and by extension, conscious masturbation. The point is that you are constantly aware of what you do, and live truly in the moment. So often are we tempted to perform the act of masturbation as a task that must be completed in order to get “there”, while we think of other things. Not good.
Our natural inclination is to masturbate faster and harder as we go along, and especially as we approach orgasm. Again I want to turn this on its head. The most sensual experience is often the result of soft and slow movements. And the most intense sensation is that which you enjoy if you deliberately slow down in the last seconds, or preferably minutes, just before you orgasm. Trust me, that is when you will know what it means to be alive. You might be watching, but you will certainly be feeling, your engorged, redly swollen penis, which at this stage should be freely dribbling pre-cum down its shaft and onto your fingers. By this stage your whole lower body and abdominal area should be glowing warmly. This is when you might instinctively want to speed up, but should deliberately slow down, when you should have the discipline to enjoy the excruciating pleasure of your body to the limit. You will feel like a giant, with the swollen member of a giant. Why rush and leave pass up such a state of bliss?
On the contrary, you want to carry on as long as possible. You want to enjoy the plateau of your pleasure as long as you can. That you achieve by relaxing and breathing, and by controlling the pace of your movements. The more relaxed you are, the more likely you are to continue enjoying your blissful state. Deep breathing helps your muscles to relax, and allows sensation to seep into the core of your being. It is also important that you relax your body, especially your legs and feet. Instead focus your mind on your penis and the enormous hardening and growth of its head and shaft, and the pleasure generated there.
You also exercise some control over your pleasure by controlling the pace of your movement. Here again it is important that you focus on your sensations and respond accordingly. The pace of your movements should be a bit like Goldilocks’ porridge: not too hot, not too cold. You do not want to go too fast, or too slow – not too fast, as that is likely to rush you to a superficial orgasm, or worse, leave you frustrated as you cannot orgasm at all. You do not want to go too slowly, as that may cause you to lose interest, depending on where you are in the process. Ironically perhaps, sometimes when you are close to orgasm, a few seconds of slow, gentle stroking may bring on the orgasm, while slightly more forceful stroking will keep the climax at bay, without driving the pleasure away. The point is to focus and pay attention, so as to maximize your pleasure.
How long to carry on? For the time being, remember, we are focusing on masturbating to orgasm in the most enjoyable way. You are not trying to avoid an ejaculation. That will come later. For the time being, just focus on enjoying the sensation, without worrying whether you will come or ejaculate, or when. You will momentarily, or perhaps for some minutes, postpone the orgasm because of your slower movements. But at the same time, paradoxically, you will increase the excruciatingly pleasurable sensations in you penis. These two powers – increased sensation and delayed orgasm – will eventually combine to produce a most powerful orgasm. The idea is to let your body take its own course while you control what you can control as long as you can – your breathing, your slow movements, and your focus on your pleasure. What I normally experience at this point is a feeling of enjoyment and deeply satisfying pleasure rising up from my body spontaneously. It is often preceded by a slight, not unpleasant burning sensation as my penis starts releasing pre-cum. This is when I enjoy a sense of intense pleasure over an extended period of time. For a minute or more I feel a glow of enjoyment in my lower body that is akin in intensity to an orgasm, but it is not explosive and climactic. It is pleasure at a very high plateau.
Because I am not aggressively pumping my penis at this stage, I do not force the pace of the orgasm. It happens in its own good time. It happens spontaneously. I invariably at this stage get more goose bumps all over my body as pleasurable sensations ripple out from my core into my limbs.
When I finally come, I do not ejaculate as wildly and powerfully as I would have done had I been masturbating hard and fast. Instead I first notice that the trickle of pre-cum that invariably dribbles out of my penis at this point, gradually becomes a flood that soon transforms itself into a stream of semen that spontaneously bubbles up from below. My penis contracts rhythmically and repeatedly. My breathing and my heart rate speed up, and my lower body often contracts involuntarily.
Something that I have often done at this stage, that is, when realizing that orgasm is commencing, is to stop moving my hand altogether. My penis then continues to contract rhythmically of its own accord. I do not “pump out” the pleasure; it happens spontaneously. Again the delicious memory of a wet dream comes to mind.
The pleasure of this kind of orgasm for me lies in the sense of deep satisfaction, rather than the power of the ejaculation. Afterwards I feel deeply satisfied. My penis is sensitive, but pleasant to the touch. As opposed to when I masturbate fast and hard, my penis is not too sensitive to touch immediately afterwards. I also retain a glow of pleasure in my lower body. Despite feeling that for the moment I am completely and utterly satisfied, I am still able to think about sex or masturbation. Yet, because I am so completely fulfilled, I want to linger in the same position, breathing deeply and enjoying the sensations of the afterglow and the warm semen on my skin.
The process takes about half an hour or forty minutes, from the moment that I start playing with myself to where I rouse myself to get dressed again. And the feeling of pleasure, the glow in my core remains for an hour or two thereafter.
To me part of the beauty of this way of masturbation is how completely self-contained it is. Its very pleasure lies in the fact that it “keeps it real”. It does not try and ride to happiness on the back of a fantasy. It is enjoyment of life for its own sake.
The principles of good masturbation:
Good ejaculatory masturbation begins in the mind.
The ideal mindset is one which sees happiness as enjoying that which you have now, not that which you desire to have at a later stage.
For that reason you should not fantasize while masturbating.
Focus on your penis and the enjoyment of your body now.
Do not chase erections and orgasms. Simply enjoy the pleasure of the moment.
Good masturbation is like meditation: relax, focus on one activity, be in the moment, breathe deeply.
Learn to enjoy your penis without an erection.
Less is more: think slow and soft and gentle.
Breathe deeply all the time.
Visualize and feel the sexual energy spreading through your body and into your head.
Prolong the pleasure by pacing your movements and breathing properly, but without caring when or whether you will come.