The only way you will ever learn how to achieve multiple orgasms, is by practicing. Try different ways of stroking, different body positions, different paces of breathing.
It is very important, as with ordinary masturbation, that you concentrate fully on what you are doing, on the sensations of your body, on the movements of your hand, on your breathing and contractions. Ignore the outside world, forget about fantasies. Focus on your pleasure.
Stop from time to time to take stock. Make an inventory of your feelings.
Here is a mental checklist to run through, to monitor your progress:
Did you masturbate slowly and rhythmically?
Were you relaxed?
Did you breathe regularly and deeply?
Did you feel orgasm approaching?
Did you carry on breathing regularly?
Did you contract your abdomen in rhythm with exhaling?
Did you feel the tension subside every time you breathed out?
Did you feel the pleasure spreading through your body – your legs, your abdomen, your chest, your head?
What did this pleasure feel like: did you feel goose bumps or tingling spread over various parts of your body?
Did your contractions at any stage become involuntary?
Did your contractions bring you release and satisfaction?
I think it is important to try and describe the moment of non-ejaculatory orgasm, so as to help you to recognize it. I identify it as a wave of pleasure and release that originates in my penis and passes through my body, and it peaks at the moment in time just before I exhale. This is important, because it will help you understand how to apply the principle of “falling back” into or “relaxing into” the orgasm that I referred to earlier. In my view it is the moment of release of tension that is of the essence of an orgasm – that feeling of satisfaction. And we all associate a release of tension with releasing our breath. That is the moment in time that you go over the summit and down the other side, the most satisfying moment of the whole process.
I experience an orgasm as a series of waves of pleasure radiating from my penis into my legs, my torso, my arms and my head, each wave coinciding with my releasing my breath, and a sense of satisfaction. The sensation that I experience is a euphoric tingling throughout my body, usually marked by goose bumps. Mostly I do not achieve complete satisfaction when the first wave moves through my body, and I carry on masturbating. Soon the next wave comes, often more intense than the first. Every time I breathe out, my upper body contracts, eventually involuntarily. At some point I reach a stage where my torso and various parts of my body start contracting in an uncontrolled fashion, that is faster than my normal breathing. This can go on for quite a while. Eventually the pleasure climaxes, the tension subsides and the urge to carry on masturbating recedes, until I normally stop moving, and relax.
What is important with an orgasm without ejaculation, is that you do not tense up, rush, accelerate or hold your breath. You should just relax and enjoy the bliss flowing through you.
You will also find that, as with an ordinary ejaculatory orgasm, you will sometimes go over several of these “summits” or “releases” in the course of what is really one orgasm. Each of these pleasurable “releases” will be accompanied by the expelling of breath.
To help you get your mind around the idea of bodily contractions while orgasming, I suggest you watch videos of girls masturbating to orgasm. An excellent website where these can be found (for a reasonable fee) is www.ifeelmyself.com. The site contains very tasteful, very sexy videos mainly of girls masturbating. The videos are palpably authentic. Now you will find that not all the girls orgasm in exactly the same way, but many come while breathing heavily and repeatedly, while their upper bodies contract. Perhaps the best example of this is a girl who goes by the name of Kesia, who you can find with the site’s search engine. Kesia probably does not know that her upper body contracts and that she breathes out when experiencing a release. It happens involuntarily for her. She also happens to have spectacular orgasms that last as long as a minute or more and are typified by a number of strong exhalations of breath and contractions of the torso at the same time. Another girl by the name of Robyn has orgasms accompanied by rapid contractions similar to those I experience, usually after coming a number of times.
You can also control the pace of your movements in order to ensure that you do not ejaculate. Just as regular breathing helps you relax, just so exercising control by pacing your movements relaxes you. Sometimes you may even want to stop completely in order to make sure you do not ejaculate.
But at this point it is crucial that you do not for a second stop breathing deeply and regularly. Take it from me, if you suddenly stop masturbating because you know you are close to ejaculating – and you stop breathing – you will ejaculate as certainly as night follows day. This is very important: do not stop inhaling and exhaling.
It is just as important that you start masturbating again as soon as your sensations are under control again, in order to help yourself achieve an actual orgasm. The last thing you want is to frustrate yourself by stopping before having an orgasm. That way lie headaches, tension and high blood pressure, as I have described in the previous chapter.
In fact, I find that when I feel an orgasm approaching, I often increase the pace of my stroking, thereby bringing on the orgasm. It is important that, if you do that, you remain conscious and in the moment, and do not “chase” the orgasm. It must be already happening to you – you just go a little harder to enhance the pleasure.
Now to deal with what is to me a difficult topic: contraction of the PC muscle. A tip that the literature gives is that a man who wants to achieve multi-orgasmic masturbation, should contract his PC muscle. The PC muscle is the muscle situated between your testicles and your anus, and controls amongst other things your ability to stop urinating mid-stream. It also contracts while you ejaculate.
I have a confession to make: I do not know whether or not I contract my PC muscle while enjoying multiple orgasms. I certainly do not do so consciously. It is possible that I involuntarily contract my PC muscle while I contract my upper body and in particular my lower abdomen muscles. If that is so, I am not aware of it.
What I most certainly do not do, is consciously to interrupt my masturbation, or to hold the contraction of my PC muscle until the desire to ejaculate subsides. To me either of those activities (which are prescribed in many of the websites that I have read) would spoil the activity of masturbation as a rhythmic flow of energy through the body.
For example, this is typical of the kind of prescription that you will find:
...as you feel yourself reaching closer to orgasm, clamp your PC muscles by contracting them as hard as you can. Hold for up to 1 minute or until the urge to ejaculate surpasses and then slowly relax the muscles. It also helps to breathe out as you hold. As you relax, let a long deep breath out. Repeat this process for as long as you need to. (www.mindsecrets.com)
If the PC muscle must be contracted, it should happen in the same way as the rest of one’s masturbation: rhythmically and in a way that encourages the unimpeded flow of energy.
I have never understood why it is deemed a good idea deliberately to contract the PC muscle in order to postpone or prevent ejaculation. My experience is that consciously doing so achieves exactly the opposite: whilst artificially closing off the flow of semen to and through the penis, it also causes tension in the groin area, which is exactly what you do not want. I have found that consciously contracting the PC muscle when close to orgasm sometimes actually sets of ejaculation.