56
Chloe was not having a good New Year’s. She had popped in to see some friends earlier on during the night, then headed to Anthony’s Millennium bash, which he’d been going on about for at least six months, and which she’d originally planned to invite Mark to, before he had stopped speaking to her. Over Christmas she had decided she needed to forget about Mark, but even having come to this decision she couldn’t dispel the hurt she was feeling at things ending so abruptly, and without Mark having the good grace at least to explain where they stood.
On arriving at the party she’d found out Mark wasn’t the only one blanking her. After a cursory hello, Anthony had proceeded purposefully to ignore her, which had become quite embarrassing in front of his friends, who tried to make small talk with her for a while, their eyes glancing over her shoulders as other people came into the room, unsubtly looking for their getaway. She was put out, to say the least. If anything, she shouldn’t be speaking to Anthony after what he’d done.
After an hour of this, Chloe had had enough and stalked out. But she didn’t want to be at home alone for the Millennium, particularly as both her housemates had paid to go to swanky dos, and would be full of it when they got in. She decided she might as well show her face at Susan’s bash, as she was now much closer to that than anywhere else. It began to rain as she made her way there, so she ran along the pavement in the gloom, trying to dodge all the swaying, merry people calling out their New Year’s greetings to anyone around, and pushed her way into the packed pub. It was hard to see anyone, but she finally spotted Risto in conversation at the bar. He raised his eyebrows and smiled at her, using his thumb to point behind him as he carried on his discussion.
She made her way over and then stopped in her tracks.
She’d thought New Year’s Eve couldn’t get any worse, but this topped it off.
Right in front of her was Mark, his lips locked with Charlotte’s.
In a daze, Chloe turned away immediately, but before she could make her escape she heard someone say, ‘Hey, Chloe!’ from behind her.
She swung round again awkwardly and waved hello to the people at the table, now looking at her, then at Mark and Charlotte, who were both staring at her. Charlotte was smiling like she hadn’t a clue, and Mark looked as shocked as she’d ever seen him.
‘Chloe,’ said a voice behind her. She turned. It was Risto.
‘Can I get you a drink?’ he asked.
She nodded, trying not to show him how upset she was, and he ushered her towards the bar. She moved automatically as he said, ‘I saw what just happened. Do you want me to take you home?’
She just nodded again and let him lead her outside.
57
Alex was just about to go out the front door with Jamie when he saw Ray coming up the drive.
‘Come on, Al, let’s go,’ Jamie said. He had decided he didn’t like Ray after hearing snippets of what had been going on.
‘No, Jamie, I’ll just be a minute,’ Alex answered, alarmed.
‘But, Al, I really want to -’
‘Just wait inside for a sec,’ Alex said, shoving his brother back through the door.
His heart thudded as he saw Ray’s stricken face. ‘Oh my god, what is it?’ he asked.
‘She’s okay… I think,’ the older man said sadly. ‘It’s just I’ve made a terrible mistake.’
Alex let him in, and he came into the lounge, said a subdued hello to Alex’s mother and father, and told the whole family the story.
Amy had snuck out. She was gone. Tess was furious with him for not taking Amy more seriously when she had confided in him, for allowing it to happen.
Alex’s mother pointed out that there was little he could have done other than physically restraining her, and Ray nodded sadly. ‘I know, but still… looking back, I should have realised how determined she was. I just never thought she’d go that night…’
He looked at Alex. ‘I came to see if you’ve heard anything from her.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Alex shook his head. Oh, Amy, he thought, why haven’t you been in touch? Why are you pushing us all away?
‘Have you talked to the police?’ Alex’s father asked.
‘Yes,’ Ray nodded. ‘They’re sympathetic, but say that often there’s nothing much they can do. She’s an adult, entitled to exercise her own free will; she’s never had any mental health issues before, even though she’s obviously been through something truly terrible… They can do some checking, but once we said we thought Amy might have gone overseas they weren’t very optimistic about locating her.’
He got up to leave. He looked broken. ‘Anyway, I won’t keep you. You’ve probably got things to be doing tonight. I just wanted to give you this.’ He held a piece of paper out to Alex, who took it, his heart thumping. ‘Just let me know, will you, if she…’ Ray added, looking at Alex. ‘Keep in touch.’
Alex nodded. ‘Of course.’ He watched as his mum and dad said polite goodbyes, the paper scratchy in his hand, then saw Ray out to the door.
Ray turned at the doorway. ‘Alex,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry if I was a bit harsh on you… in the hospital. I wasn’t thinking very clearly, and I…’
Alex didn’t know what came over him, but as Ray stood there on the doorstep he moved forward and patted him on the shoulders in an awkward semi-hug. ‘I understand,’ he said, pulling back quickly for fear of overstepping the mark, but Ray was smiling sadly at him.
Amy’s father turned to go. ‘Ray,’ Alex called.
Ray swung around.
‘Did she really not want to see me last week, or was that just you?’ he asked.
Ray shook his head. ‘I’m sorry, Alex. She said she didn’t, but we know she’s not thinking straight, don’t we?’
Alex nodded, and Ray turned to go.
Jamie appeared behind him. ‘Happy New Year,’ he called to Ray’s retreating back.
Ray raised a hand in acknowledgement, but didn’t turn round.
‘Come on, Al,’ Jamie said once Ray had gone. ‘Let’s go. I’m desperate for a pint.’
58
The little street was dark, though there were lights shining intermittently from the few restaurants dotted about the place. Behind the street, the sea lapped gently at the narrow shoreline, a rhythmic watery lullaby you could only hear between gaps in traffic noise and voices.
This seaside Caribbean village felt incredibly peaceful. And that’s why Amy was here.
She did feel calmer, being away. And she felt sad about that, but it was so much easier, saying hello to strangers who knew nothing of her; being around people who didn’t care a jot, rather than the slow, constricting, suffocating love from those she had left behind. She wasn’t thinking long term, just trying to put one foot in front of another, get through the next hour, the next day. Seeing if she could heal from the inside as well as out, now the bruises had faded.
Yet she couldn’t help but make the phone calls earlier. It was New Year’s Eve, the Millennium, after all.
‘Amy, thank god,’ her mother had cried down the phone. ‘Where are you?’
‘I’m okay, Mum. I’m just letting you know I’m okay.’
‘Come home, Amy, it’s better for you here.’
‘No, it’s not.’
‘Your dad will be so sorry he’s missed you. He’s just popped out.’
‘That’s okay. Tell him I love him. I love you both.’
Her mother was sobbing down the phone. It was frightening. She rarely lost control like this.
‘Amy, you have to promise me one thing right now.’
‘Mum, I -’
‘PROMISE ME you’ll do no harm to yourself. If anything happened to you… well, your father and I, we would die too – do you UNDERSTAND, Amy?’ she said fiercely.