‘Chloe, it’s June. Your mum’s been discharged. We’ve brought her home. Don’t go to the hospital, come to the house instead.’
‘Discharged? After a heart attack? That doesn’t sound right.’
‘Just come to the house, love – where are you now?’
‘Kendal.’
‘Great; well, we’ll see you soon.’
Chloe hung up, grimaced, and, without indicating, at the next roundabout went all the way round to go back in the direction she’d just come, causing an irritated motorist to honk his horn at her. She resisted the temptation to give him the finger.
It took her another forty minutes to reach the laneways near her mother’s house, and as she did so, the phone rang again.
‘Hi,’ she said, holding the mobile sandwiched between ear and neck to allow her hands to remain on the steering wheel.
‘Chloe, it’s Mark. What’s going on? Jana said your mum is ill.’
‘Yes, heart attack,’ Chloe replied, frantically turning the steering wheel at a tight bend. ‘I’m nearly there now.’
‘Where?’
‘Lake District.’
‘Christ. Chloe, I’m so sorry…’
Chloe felt tears welling again. God, she was so sick of crying. ‘Thanks, Mark. Look, I’m driving, I can’t really talk.’
‘Okay, but ring me later, won’t you? Let me know you’re okay.’
‘Thanks, I will.’
She hung up, gritting her teeth, and threw the phone onto the passenger seat. The conversation she’d just had should have been with Alex, not Mark.
June came out of the front door of Chloe’s mother’s house before Chloe had even stopped the engine. As soon as she got out of the car she was enfolded in a hug, and Chloe responded for a moment, before pulling back and looking at June’s face, reassured to see only concern there.
‘Where’s Mum?’ Chloe asked.
‘Right this way,’ June said, leading her towards the front door, when George appeared.
‘June -’ he said.
‘Just let her see Margaret,’ June replied, not looking at him, trying to usher Chloe inside.
Chloe stopped for a moment. This was a little odd. The two of them seemed tense, and terse with one another.
‘What’s going on?’ she asked.
‘Nothing,’ June demurred in an overly bright voice, as George said, ‘Chloe, a word,’ and motioned her back towards the driveway.
‘George -’ June began, but he raised his hand to quieten her.
‘We’ll be there in a minute,’ he said.
June shook her head but went inside.
Chloe was alarmed by all the subterfuge. ‘What’s going on, George?’
He looked solemnly at her over his half-moon specs. ‘Your mother called from hospital this morning, saying she’d had a heart attack. So, June called you and we went down there, and waited while they did some tests… But, apparently, it wasn’t a heart attack after all, it was an anxiety attack.’
Chloe stared at him, dumbfounded. She was aching and tired from racing up to see her mother, thinking she was critically ill, to find out she had had an anxiety attack?
‘She seems fine now,’ George continued. ‘I just thought I should warn you, as I think June might have misled you on the phone this morning – unintentionally, of course. She was very worried at the time.’
Chloe nodded, still at a loss for words. She followed George into the house, and they walked through looking for her mother, who was eventually located in the kitchen.
Ironing.
‘Chloe, darling!’ her mother trilled as she broke off from flattening the sleeve of a blouse and came around the ironing board to embrace her. ‘You’re such a sweetheart to come. Silly me, thinking it was a heart attack, but I couldn’t breathe all of a sudden, and then I felt so terribly dizzy, it was like I was getting sucked into a big black hole, and so I called the ambulance. And they were ever so nice, in the ambulance, they figured out it was nothing pretty quickly, but they took me in and did all the tests anyway, and said that, actually, I’ve got a first-class ticker, how about that?’ She began to set about the sleeve with gusto. ‘June and George have been marvellous, of course,’ she said, finally pulling the blouse off the board and searching a nearby laundry basket for a hanger. She smiled across at June as she said this, and June, who was filling the kettle, smiled back.
There was silence as they all waited for Chloe to say something. George still looked sombre, while June was engrossed in finding tea bags, and Margaret was smiling beatifically at Chloe.
When Chloe finally spoke, it didn’t sound much like herself, but the words were definitely coming from her mouth in a stream of bilious abuse.
‘You selfish, selfish woman,’ she spat, watching the two women’s expressions become startled, and noticing somewhere in her subconscious that George was registering absolutely no surprise at her words. ‘I have driven five hours to come and see you; I have broken speed limits all the way here; I have come, despite being incredibly tired and nauseous, all the time desperately worried about you… to find you ironing, drinking tea, perfectly well, and completely oblivious to the effect you have had on me – to the kind of stress you’ve caused me today – when I’m, I’m pregnant -’ the secret was out of her mouth once again, and she registered the lack of shock on George’s and June’s faces with no real surprise – of course her mother had told them, her mouth was bigger than the Channel tunnel – ‘and when my husband is god knows where’ – at this, they did all look surprised ‘- but that’s okay, Mum, my life is going down the toilet, but as long as you’re fine…’
Margaret’s face was a picture of shock. Having returned to the iron, she put it down absent-mindedly, not noticing as June discreetly righted it so it wouldn’t burn a hole in the cover. ‘Chloe -’ she began.
‘Save it,’ Chloe said, holding up her hand. ‘I don’t want to hear it. Just stay away from me. Just leave me alone from now on.’
And she ran out of the room, down the hallway, and through the front door.
She was clutching her car keys, trying to find the right key on the fob, when she heard steps behind her. She swung round ready to launch into another tirade, to find George there.
‘George, don’t -’ she said.
He put his arm around her. ‘I’m not,’ he replied. ‘Just… don’t drive all the way back tonight,’ he said, pressing something into her hand. She looked down to see two fifty-pound notes there, and reacted by trying to give them back to him.
‘Chloe,’ he said, ignoring her and holding her shoulders gently. ‘I’m your uncle, or as good as. I’m paying for you to find a hotel for the night. Humour me. Okay?’
She nodded, looked quickly into his eyes and then down at the gravel drive.
He kissed her on the forehead. ‘We’ll call you,’ he said, walking back towards the front door as she got into the car, and stopping the two women, who had come behind him, from going any further.
‘Chloe,’ Margaret called, and her voice was high and unnerved. ‘Please.’ But Chloe was in her vehicle now, and she drove away without looking back.
79
As the sun cast the dusky pinks and mellow oranges of dawn onto the river, the first boats were already making their leisurely way along. The city was lazily yawning and stretching, preparing for another busy day. By contrast, as he stood on the hotel room balcony, Alex’s mind was frantic. He had given up all thought of rest some hours ago.
He was out of his depth here. How had it come to this? How come it always felt like he was on the back foot, desperately parrying what everyone else could throw at him?
In his hand was his plane ticket. He had been thinking all night of heading to the airport, catching a plane back to Chloe. He’d been intent on calling her yesterday evening, but Amy’s revelation had thrown him completely off-kilter again. He didn’t know how much more he could take; the whole thing was becoming a bigger and bigger mess. He tried to imagine how he would be feeling in Chloe’s position. He felt he had let her down, and for what? A girl from his past he thought he owed something to; a girl who this morning he didn’t feel he knew at all any more.