And when things go to hell, she always said, stick with the familiar.
Her stomach growled, and she realized she was hungry. What day was it, anyway-Thursday? No, God, it was Friday.
Her appetite had been nonexistent since Monday. And if that wasn't indicative of her state of mind, she didn't know what was. One summer a lifetime ago, she and a boy named Jared had gone hungry together on the streets of Denver. It was an experience that had hardwired her ever after not to miss another meal. Yet, except for about six gallons of coffee and the occasional candy bar grabbed when paying for her gas, she'd barely eaten a bite.
Twisting her hair up off her neck, she reached for her baseball cap and pulled it on, then donned a pair of oversized dark glasses. Slipping a handful of bills into her shorts pocket, she headed for the door.
It was hotter than usual for early June and the swamp cooler laboring in her room's window dripped green-tinged condensation onto the concrete next to the two-step stoop outside her door. Blinking against the glare, she tugged the brim of her navy cap down and set out across the lot.
The Prairie Dog Cafe was a squat orange building next to Elmerson's Feed and Seed, and P.J. pulled open its screen door to the clatter of heavy crockery, the rumble of male voices discussing crops and Lari White singing about flies on the butter from an old Wurlitzer in the corner. She stepped out of the sun into the smell of frying meat and cigarette smoke. Slipping off her dark glasses, she noticed that the only customers who didn't have John Deere tractor caps planted firmly on their heads had straw Stetsons hooked over the back rails of their chairs.
Conversations faltered for a second, then resumed their accustomed rhythms. P.J. noted she was the only woman in the cafe this time of day, then shrugged the observation aside and crossed to the counter to claim one of the few vacant red-vinyl swivel seats. If she'd allowed men to intimidate her in her line of work, she would've quit singing about the same time she'd first attempted to go professional. The truth was, she liked the company of men. She worked primarily with them-her backup band consisted of two of the species, and the roadies that set up and broke down shows and transported the equipment from city to city were almost exclusively male.
Moving aside an ashtray, she reached across the counter for a laminated menu stuck in the rear prongs of the stainless steel condiment holder.
A waitress withSandy embroidered above the breast pocket of her pink uniform came over a few minutes later and set a glass of water in front of P.J. "What can I getcha, honey?"
She ordered a ham and swiss on sourdough and knew she should ask for it to go. But the murmur of voices was comforting to a woman accustomed to being surrounded by people and she couldn't quite bring herself to relinquish the sound to return to her too-quiet room.
She realized it wasn't a smart choice, however, when Sandy said something as she clipped her order to the wheel above the pass-through to the kitchen and the short-order cook immediately poked his head through the opening to give P.J. the once-over. She also caught the waitress stealing glances at her as she bustled about the room filling coffee cups and slapping down bills torn from a pad in her apron pocket. Then "Mama's Girl," P.J.'s very first recording, came on the jukebox and with an inward groan she settled a little deeper into her chair. Sandy brought the bill a moment later. "That's you, isn't it?" she demanded with a tip of her chin toward the Wurlitzer.
P.J. could lie with the best of them and she looked the other woman straight in the eye. "Don't I wish." She smiled wryly. "People arealways mistaking me for her. Darn shame I can't sing a lick."
"It's you," Sandy insisted. "I saw you onAustin City Limits once and I'll never forget your speaking voice."
Damn.Didn't it just figurethat would give her away? She hated her speaking voice. It was raspy and made her sound as if she were a three-pack-a-day smoker. She'd always figured God had given her a good, strong singing voice to make amends for saddling her with such a ridiculous conversational one.
Still she insisted, "Oh, this isn't the way I usually sound. It's the tag end of a nasty case of laryngitis." But recognizing a blown cover when she saw one, she left a hefty tip and headed for the door. It looked like she might see California after all.
"Pretty cold-blooded to fire your own mama, you ask me," the waitress called after her.
Ouch. Ouchouchouch! Given the mess with her mother earlier this week, Sandy's parting shot was a direct hit.
"Nobody asked you," she muttered under her breath when she was out of earshot. Damn if she intended to make excuses to someone who didn't know the first thing about her relationship with her mother. She stomped back to the Wind Blew Inn.
She had just zipped her suitcase closed and was looking for her flip-flops when there was an authoritative knock on the door.
She stilled, her head raised to stare at the peephole-free door. Dear Lord. Reporters already?
Then she willed herself to relax.Don't be ridiculous, it's probably just the manager. Even if Sandy had called someone, which was iffy, the only reporter who could have gotten here this fast would be from a local weekly, and she could be three states away by the time its next edition hit the streets. She crossed to the window and lifted a corner of the curtain, trying to see who was on the other side of the door.
A tall man stood on her tiny stoop, but the angle was wrong to see more than the fact that he had wide shoulders in a navy-blue T-shirt, neatly trimmed brown hair and was wearing a faded pair of jeans. His right forearm, she saw as he raised his fist to knock on the door once again, sported a long, narrow tattoo that undulated subtly with the movement. It was mostly green and almost looked like a praying mantis.
"Ohmigawd."
She lunged for the door, pulling it open. The man jerked back his fist, but she barely even noticed how close it had come to her forehead. Her gaze went first to the tattoo, which was exactly what she'd expected to see, then to the man's face. "Jared?" she whispered. "Jared Hamilton?"
"Hello, P.J."
"Ohmigawd!" she said again. A frisson of pure pleasure buzzed along her spine and, laughter erupting, she leaped out at him, her arms snaking around his neck in a stranglehold, her legs wrapping around his waist. "Oh. My. God!" Leaning back, she gazed into his face. And grinned. "You sure grew up good."
That was an understatement. He'd been good-looking at seventeen, but now his features were honed in a way that made it nearly impossible to look away. Hard jaw, aristocratic nose, stern mouth with a full lower lip. His hair was still the sun-streaked brown she remembered but he wore it shorter these days. And he'd grown into his long, skinny bones. He was still tall and lean, but his shoulders were wide, his body muscular.
His fingers, which had clasped her butt with a light touch when she'd jumped him, tightened infinitesimally. A slight smile pulled up one corner of his mouth. "You grew up pretty well, yourself."
Well.Not good-well.Some of her pleasure dimmed. It was due to Jared that she'd worked as hard as she had in her language arts and English classes in junior high and high school, and her grammar was much better than it had been at thirteen. Not good enough, though, evidently. "Grew up good, grew up well." She shrugged. "Not everyone has the advantage of your prep-school upbringing, rich boy. Some of us are simply never gonna speak like some stick-up-the-butt banker."