“Hey, uh, what’s yer buddy looking at, there?” Weasel asked, then louder and directed at Billy, “Conversation’s over this way, bro. We boring you over here?”
“Fucking rude, is what it is,” rumbled Larry. His eyes were dark and nervous and now bouncing back between Billy and me like he was watching an Olympic Table Tennis match.
Getting fed up with the whole stupid scenario rather quickly, I wanted to ask Billy just what he thought he was doing as well. Forcing back my frustration, I kept my eyes locked on the two men with my rifle muzzle up and spaced at the midway point between the two of them and said, “Bill?” I always called him Billy because that was how he’d introduced himself so I strongly hoped my calling him Bill would knock loose whatever it was that had gotten stuck in his brain.
He had apparently noticed, either by my tone or my usage of his name, because he said, “It’s okay, Jake. These two just really want me to turn around. They don’t want me to see…”
I’m going to do my best to describe what happened next without getting it all confused. I remember everything happening at the same time, and I’m not sure I can explain this coherently.
In the middle of Billy’s sentence, the sound of gut shaking explosions thundered off to my left—one blast followed by two additional blasts in rapid succession. After the first explosion but before the second two, Larry raised his hand in the direction of Billy and shouted, “Danny!!” At the same time as that, Weasel reached into his waistband and started hauling on the pistol.
I immediately began to drop into a crouch, swinging the barrel at Weasel and yanking on the trigger. The trigger itself didn’t move and nothing happened—I suddenly remembered that I had the safety on in response to Billy’s instruction from the night before. I cursed (or at least I tried to; it came out sounding like “Fyurk!!!”) and slammed the safety as far in the other direction as it would go. In the meantime, two more explosions detonated off to my left for a total of five.
Weasel had gotten the pistol out of his shorts by now and was lifting it towards me while Larry appeared to be digging furiously in his butt (I supposed at the time that he was going for his own weapon). I instinctively kicked out with both feet in an attempt to get away, like a kind of jump reflex. This propelled me backward two or three feet and landed me on my back with my feet pointed towards the attackers. This most likely saved my life as the first shot from Weasel’s gun passed over me and through the glass double doors of Pep Boys. On my back, I spread my legs to avoid shooting my own feet off and pulled the trigger.
I nearly soiled myself as the M4 came alive in full automatic fury, stitching a line up and down Weasel, with little dusty penetrations appearing all over his torso and thighs. In the movies when you see someone shot, you always see copious amounts of blood splatter flying all around the screen. Well, the movies are full of it. I saw puffs of dust rise off the impact points, and his clothes rippled about as holes appeared. If there was any blood, it was in a fine mist, and it was too fast for me to see. The guy didn’t start bleeding until after he hit the ground.
I whirled my muzzle over to Larry, who was still in the process of losing a tug of war battle with his keister and pulled the trigger. I recall very clearly how hard he flinched as the first few rounds hit him. He pulled his head way back, squinted his eyes nearly shut, opened his mouth, and stuck out his tongue while putting his hands out in front of him. He looked like nothing so much as an awkward schoolyard bully trying unsuccessfully to fend off a haymaker.
As Larry went down, I heard a snap very close by (I would have to place it just above my head, were I forced to guess) and something sharp and hot stung my cheek. I rolled over onto my left shoulder to look in the direction of whatever chaos was breaking loose down the street. As I did, I just noticed some mass peaking around the side of the building at the corner while, at the same instant, two more ear-shattering explosions detonated a few feet away, now to my right with my new position. The mass at the building corner disappeared and was replaced by a kicked out foot.
I rolled to my back again and looked at both Weasel and Larry, confirming that they were no longer moving. When I rolled left to look up the street again, Billy was out from between the van and truck. He was walking quickly to the outstretched leg. He was bent over, and I felt a moment of sick panic when I thought he had been shot. When he reached the end of the building, he swiveled left, and I realized he was just bent into his shotgun. He discharged it at the ground behind the building where I couldn’t see. It was at this point that I finally realized the explosions I heard were Billy’s 870. I was completely shocked; I had not realized a pump action shotgun could be fired as quickly as Billy had managed. He was walking back towards me, thumbing new shells into the magazine. As he neared me, he stopped abruptly and said, “Hey, are you okay? Did you get hit?”
I looked myself over, patted the length of my torso. “I don’t think so,” I replied.
“Your face…”
I reached my hand up to my face and felt wetness. It came away streaked with blood. “Awe, Jesus…” I said and levered up to my knees to look at my reflection in the shop window. There appeared to be a nasty cut under my left eye, and it was running red all down my cheek. Billy came over and turned me by the shoulders to get a look at it.
“That’s not a graze or a hit of any kind. You just got nicked by something.” He stuffed a hand into one of his pockets and pulled out a green handkerchief. “Here, dab that up. It’s fine,” he said, “I don’t blow into that. Just use it to wipe off sweat.”
“Lovely…” I said and began to wipe at my cheek. The cut wasn’t too bad; it was already clotting up.
“You got damned lucky,” said Billy. “I don’t know what it was that cut you, but that could have been your eye.”
I nodded and handed the kerchief back. He crammed it back into its pocket absentmindedly.
I looked back towards the end of the building where that ominous leg was sticking out. “Just how the hell did you know he’d be back there?”
“Didn’t,” Billy stated. “Was afraid he might be. I figured you had the two assholes covered well enough. That was really the only direction someone could have used to sneak up behind us. Seems like that was their idea, too.”
He came around the truck bed and had a look at what remained of our assailants. Whatever blood that was in them was oozing out freely by this point—two fat rivers of the stuff were running out from under both of the dead men, joining together and disappearing under the vehicles.
He said: “Jesus, that’s messy. Did you really have to go full Rambo on the Mario Brothers?”
“It wasn’t my intent. I had an issue with the safety lever.”
“You mean they had an issue with the safety lever. Damn!”
“Have it your way,” I sighed. “Can we get out of here now before any more of them show up?”
“Sure, sure, keep your shirt on, Kemosabe. I just want to go over them and see if they have anything worth having.”
“Oh, Christ’s sake,” I moaned, looking up and down the street. “That’s really morbid, man.” I conveniently left out that I had acquired my Glock in the same fashion. I wanted to get out of there at that point and was arguing over anything.
“They’re not using it anymore,” he said, totally unashamed. He had a look at Weasel’s gun, held it up, and sighted down the length of the barrel. “Hi-Point,” he muttered. “Eh, screw it…” he decided and slipped it in his back pocket. He moved over to Larry and rolled him over onto his stomach. What we saw stopped both of us in our tracks.