Ruth scowled impatiently. "Really, we're about to sit down at the table."
"Oh, this will only take a moment." The young man set down the vacuum cleaner and its attachments with a metallic crash. Rapidly, he unrolled a long illustrated banner, showing the vacuum cleaner in action. "Now, if you'll just hold this while I plug in the cleaner --"
He bustled happily about, unplugging the TV set, plugging in the cleaner, pushing the chairs out of his way.
Til show you the drape scraper first." He attached a hose and nozzle to the big gleaming tank. "Now, if you'll just sit down I'll demonstrate each of these easy-to-use attachments." His happy voice rose over the roar of the cleaner. "You'll notice --"
Ed Fletcher sat down on the bed. He groped in his pocket until he found his cigarettes. Shakily he lit one and leaned back against the wall, weak with relief.
He gazed up, a look of gratitude on his face. "Thanks," he said softly. "I think we'll make it -after all. Thanks a lot."
The Impossible Planet
"She just stands there," Norton said nervously. "Captain, you'll have to talk to her."
"What does she want?"
"She wants a ticket. She's stone deaf. She just stands there staring and she won't go away. It gives me the creeps."
Captain Andrews got slowly to his feet. "Okay. I'll talk to her. Send her in."
"Thanks." To the corridor Norton said, "The Captain will talk to you. Come ahead."
"Thanks." To the corridor Norton said, "The Captain will talk to you. Come ahead."
"In here." Norton backed into the control room. "This way. Right in here."
Behind Norton came a withered little old woman. Beside her moved a gleaming robant, a towering robot servant, supporting her with its arm. The robant and the tiny old woman entered the control room slowly.
"Here's her papers." Norton slid a folio onto the chart desk, his voice awed. "She's three hundred and fifty years old. One of the oldest sustained. From Riga II."
Andrews leafed slowly through the folio. In front of the desk the little woman stood silently, staring straight ahead. Her faded eyes were pale blue. Like ancient china.
"Irma Vincent Gordon," Andrews murmured. He glanced up. "Is that right?"
The old woman did not answer.
"She is totally deaf, sir," the robant said.
Andrews grunted and returned to the folio. Irma Gordon was one of the original settlers of the Riga system. Origin unknown. Probably born out in space in one of the old sub-C ships. A strange feeling drifted through him. The little old creature. The centuries she had seen! The changes.
"She wants to travel?" he asked the robant.
"Yes, sir. She has come from her home to purchase a ticket."
"Can she stand space travel?"
"She came from Riga, here to Fomalhaut IX."
"Where does she want to go?"
"To Earth, sir," the robant said.
"Earth!" Andrews' jaw dropped. He swore nervously. "What do you mean?"
"She wishes to travel to Earth, sir."
"You see?" Norton muttered. "Completely crazy."
Gripping his desk tightly, Andrews addressed the old woman. "Madam, we can't sell you a ticket to Earth."
"She can't hear you, sir," the robant said.
Andrews found a piece of paper. He wrote in big letters:
CAN'T SELL YOU A TICKET TO EARTH
He held it up. The old woman's eyes moved as she studied the words. Her lips twitched. "Why not?" she said at last. Her voice was faint and dry. Like rustling weeds.
Andrews scratched an answer.
NO SUCH PLACE
He added grimly:
MYTH -- LEGEND -- NEVER EXISTED
The old woman's faded eyes left the words. She gazed directly at Andrews, her face expressionless. Andrews became uneasy. Beside him, Norton sweated nervously.
"Jeez," Norton muttered. "Get her out of here. She'll put the hex on us."
Andrews addressed the robant. "Can't you make her understand? There is no such place as Earth. It's been proved a thousand times. No such primordial planet existed. All scientists agree human life arose simultaneously throughout the --"
"It is her wish to travel to Earth," the robant said patiently. "She is three hundred and fifty years old and they have ceased giving her sustenation treatments. She wishes to visit Earth before she dies."
"But it's a myth!" Andrews exploded. He opened and closed his mouth, but no words came.
"But it's a myth!" Andrews exploded. He opened and closed his mouth, but no words came.
"I can't do it!" Andrews shouted. "There isn't --"
"We have a kilo positives," the robant said.
Andrews became suddenly quiet. "A thousand positives." He blanched in amazement. His jaws clamped shut, the color draining from his face.
"How much?" the old woman repeated. "How much?"
"Will that be sufficient?" the robant asked.
For a moment Andrews swallowed silently. Abruptly he found his voice. "Sure," he said. "Why not?"
"Captain!" Norton protested. "Have you gone nuts? You know there's no such place as Earth! How the hell can we --"
"Sure, we'll take her." Andrews buttoned his tunic slowly, hands shaking. "We'll take her anywhere she wants to go. Tell her that. For a thousand positives we'll be glad to take her to Earth. Okay?"
"Of course," the robant said. "She has saved many decades for this. She will give you the kilo positives at once. She has them with her."
"Look," Norton said. "You can get twenty years for this. They'll take your articles and your card and they'll --"
"Shut up." Andrews spun the dial of the intersystem vid-sender. Under them the jets throbbed and roared. The lumbering transport had reached deep space. "I want the main information library at Centaurus II," he said into the speaker.
"Even for a thousand positives you can't do it. Nobody can do it. They tried to find Earth for generations. Directorate ships tracked down every moth-eaten planet in the whole --"
The vidsender clicked. "Centaurus II."
"Information library."
Norton caught Andrews' arm. "Please, Captain. Even for two kilo positives --"
"I want the following information," Andrews said into the vidspeaker. "All facts that are known concerning the planet Earth. Legendary birthplace of the human race."
"No facts are known," the detached voice of the library monitor came. "The subject is classified as metaparticular."
"What unverified but widely circulated reports have survived?"
"Most legends concerning Earth were lost during the Centauran-Rigan conflict of 4-B33a. What survived is fragmentary. Earth is variously described as a large ringed planet with three moons, as a small, dense planet with a single moon, as the first planet of a ten-planet system located around a dwarf white --"
"What's the most prevalent legend?"
"The Morrison Report of 5-C2 1r analyzed the total ethnic and subliminal accounts of the legendary Earth. The final summation noted that Earth is generally considered to be a small third planet of a nine-planet system, with a single moon. Other than that, no agreement of legends could be constructed."
"I see. A third planet of a nine-planet system. With a single moon." Andrews broke the circuit and the screen faded.
"So?" Norton said.
Andrews got quickly to his feet. "She probably knows every legend about it." He pointed down -- at the passenger quarters below. "I want to get the accounts straight."
"Why? What are you going to do?"
Andrews flipped open the master star chart. He ran his fingers down the index and released the scanner. In a moment it turned up a card.