I tightened my grip around his neck, holding him close, indulging in the intoxicating aroma of sandalwood that flanked his body. I breathed it in, losing myself in all things Alex as he picked up his pace, pounding his way through my tightly clenching walls.
“I love you so much, Cassie,” he whispered through laborious breaths. He worked his hips in a circular motion, slowing down just enough to allow me to feel every inch of him swirling around inside of me. My eyes closed as I allowed him to have his way with me.
He never got rough. He stayed at a medium pace, slowing down to feel the warmth of my walls as moisture began to build inside of me. He’d suck in his breath, bite down on his lip, tighten his hold on my body, but never once did he take it to the high intensity, rough impact that we knew so well. Alex was indulging, taking in every inch of my body that he’d missed out on, and made sure to allow me the feel of sensual gratification at the same time. He’d already done a masterful job with his tongue, bringing on a very intense orgasm, but he was allowing my body to work its way back up to another before taking the pleasure that his body so badly wanted.
“This is like a fucking dream, Cassie. I don’t ever want to wake up.”
“I… love…you, Alex!”
With those words, my walls clenched tightly, my legs went numb, and I lost all ability to speak. I cried out to Alex’s deep, sensual groans as we poured every ounce of the love we shared into one another. Alex’s body stiffened and he held himself inside, moaning with hunger, raw passion, and desire. I held firmly around his neck as my body was overtaken by him, and he finished us both off with a few more hard, pounding, thrusts. When he stopped, a tear slid down my cheek, which Alex noticed as soon as he opened his eyes.
His look of satisfaction instantly turned to concern as he took me in. “Why are you crying, Blondie?”
I smiled, trying to ease his fears. “I’m happy. And now that I’m happy, you’re leaving.”
He relaxed, then pulled out of me, laying down on my side and pulling me close. “I don’t regret much, but I regret the shit I’ve done to you. I regret making you angry and making you cry. I thought deploying was going to be the best thing for me, but now that the pieces of my life are put back together, I’m fucking torn up inside. I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to spend a single fucking day without you.”
More tears trickled down my face. I knew I’d be sad that Alex would be leaving in less than twenty-four hours, but I had no idea of what he was feeling, and for him to lay it all out for me…that was huge for him, and it broke me even more. Alex was all I wanted, and for at least the next few months, he’d be the one thing that I couldn’t have.
“I’m calling your ass as often as I can. I’m going to need to hear the warmth of your voice to get me through the shit storm I’m about to walk into, so keep your phone with you…everywhere you go.”
“I will. I promise.” I paused, swallowing the overwhelming emotion. “You promise to come home to me.”
Alex stiffened, leaving awkward silence lingering in the air. “I’m going to do everything I can to come back to you, Blondie.”
“Promise me, Alex.”
He paused again, blowing out a troublesome breath. “I can’t make that promise, Cassie. The tattoos on my chest are proof of that.”
“Alex!” I cried.
“I promise that I will do everything I can to come back to you.”
He kissed my forehead then held me close. The music outside of our room raged on as the party continued into the night without us. We never left our little haven. If we only had hours left with one another, we were going to hog every second of them, and that was exactly what we did.
++++
We woke the next morning to the bright desert sun blazing through the windows. Alex and I stayed wrapped around one another the entire night, allowing a thin layer of sweat to coat us in place of blankets. I wanted to stay locked in his arms forever because I knew as soon as we let go and started normal human function, we would be on the countdown until we were torn apart.
After lying together for a solid hour, kissing and making small talk, Alex finally accepted the fact that we couldn’t stay like this forever, and broke our link, pulling me out of bed with him and into the shower. We stood under the steaming mist of the water, washing one another in silence. For me, I didn’t want to speak because I was sure my words would be lost behind a flood of tears, or worse, the worrisome thoughts on my mind would be what would come spewing out.
We finished in the shower, then got dressed and sauntered out to the kitchen area. Surprisingly, there were no traces of a party left in the house. It looked as clean and organized as Alex normally kept it, which was amazing considering the equivalent of a college frat party had taken place the night before. Riley, Nat, and Adriana were in the kitchen when we walked in. All eyes turned to us as we took a seat at the island.
“Well, hello, strangers,” Adriana greeted. “You ditched your own party, Alex.”
“Yeah well, the party for two we had was much better.”
“Who cleaned the house?” I asked.
“Adriana and Rocky Balboa,” Riley answered, referring to Nat’s attack on Castillo the night before.
“Whatever,” Nat countered. “That bitch had it coming.”
“She’s crazy. Look out for charges coming your way,” I threw in.
Nat shrugged her shoulders, dismissing the threat. “It wouldn’t be the first time I had law enforcement down my neck.”
I was about to ask her to divulge, but Adriana put two big plates of chorizo and eggs in front of Alex and me and demanded that we eat. We did, making small talk about the night before but avoiding the massive elephant in the room. No one spoke about Alex’s deployment, even though we were only hours from him being on an airplane and headed for the gruesome unknown. I could tell everyone wanted to say something about it, but they never did, and from the looks of Alex’s face, he was just fine with that.
Finally, the dreaded time had come when Alex announced that he’d have to get going. My heart sank, and I lost my breath. The reality had hit, and there was no going back. I wanted to burst into tears, but I had promised myself that the night before were the last tears that he would see me cry. I didn’t need to shoulder him with my weakness. I wanted him to see that he was leaving behind a strong woman who would be ready and waiting for his return.
As we followed Alex out to the garage, he grabbed his seabag, backpack, and other gear, tossed them into the bed of his truck and began his goodbyes. Nat burst into tears as she wrapped her arms around his middle. The sobs leaving her body gave me the chills, forcing me to work extra hard not to falter on my own promise and join her in her cry fest. I had never seen her so broken up, and the sight of her so destroyed only made my heart break even more.
“We may fight, but I love you like a brother, Alex. Come back home to us, please.” Nat pleaded, giving up on fighting the tears streaking her cheeks.
Alex held her close, whispering into her ear, but failing to soothe the tiny, tatted up bad girl. She finally pulled away at Riley’s insistence, then walked over to me and held me as she continued to allow tears to pour from her bloodshot eyes.
Riley and Alex gave each other the guy hug, holding on for a few elongated seconds before letting go. “Go get some,” Riley said, patting Alex on the back. “Then come home and make a million fucking babies with this girl over here, man.”
Alex laughed. “That’s the plan, dude. That’s the plan.” He looked around the garage and took in the surroundings one last time. “Take care of my house, motherfucker.”