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“You can, and you will. Just stick with me. I’ll help you get there.” Dalton pulled away, kissed my forehead, then stared into my eyes.

“We are a lovely pair, aren’t we?” I asked, finally allowing a bit of humor to filter through in my voice. “The knocked-up girl, and her man-whore best friend. Like peanut butter and jelly.”

“Spaghetti and meatballs.”

Laughter burst from my body, shocking us both. My emotions were all over the place. One moment I was a crying mess, and the next I was unable to contain my amusement. It was a strange place to be in.

“Seriously, what are you going to do about Ben and Johnson?”

Dalton exhaled harshly, running his fingers through his hair. “I really don’t know. I like them both.”

“You can’t have both, Dalton. You know that.”

“I know. I just have no clue what to do about it.”

“My love life is a fucking roller coaster, so I really don’t know what to tell you, but make a choice before you get in too deep.”

A light knock on the door gave way to Ben slowly creeping inside. “Hi, Cassie. How are you feeling?”

Ben was adorable. He stood a good four or five inches shorter than Dalton, but had a firm physique, and the same illuminating blue eyes that Dalton had. He was soft-spoken but confident, and I could see why Dalton liked him.

“I’ve been better, but thanks for asking,” I replied, smiling to put him at ease.

Ben returned my smile, then turned to Dalton, looking a bit more serious. “Can I talk to you outside?”

Dalton nodded, then stood and followed Ben out of the room. They didn’t go far. I could see them from my bed—hands flying, shaking heads, Dalton’s stern face.

Both guys calmly walked back into the room, and Ben gave me a hug before wishing me well, then turned to Dalton.

“I’ll be at the hotel. Call me in the morning.”

“I will,” Dalton somberly replied.

My heart ached for both of them. They obviously cared for one another, but Johnson was a sticking point, and rightfully so.

Ben walked out of the room, and Dalton plopped down in the chair next to my bed. He ran his hands through his hair again and sighed loudly. “Looks like we’re both alone and scared, doll.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re knocked up, and I’m a man-whore,” he sarcastically remarked, smiling at me.

His words brought my reality gushing back to the surface, smacking me in the face with the fact that I was indeed knocked up, and I had a hot-headed, temperamental boyfriend to spill the beans to. I took Dalton’s hand and kissed the top, then laid it down on the bed. “Peanut butter and jelly,” I softly said.

“Spaghetti and meatballs,” he chimed in.

We fell asleep in that position, our hands held tightly together. We were both afraid and vulnerable, but being in the company of one another allowed those feelings to dissipate, and the comfort that we seemed to bring one another was more than enough to whisk us away to a pleasant sleep.

A sleep that I desperately needed.

Chapter 19

Alex

Shit was only getting worse the longer that I was stuck in this hell hole of a desert. I’d had little to no contact with Cassie, and it was beginning to make me lose what little self-control that I had. The kidnapped American contractors were found—beheaded with their bodies lying in an open grass field with their heads not far away. A group of kids found the bodies while playing soccer, located the Marines in the area, and the search for the men was called off.

Sleep was hard to come by. Mortar shells pummeled the base almost every single night, leaving us on high alert with little to no rest. Luckily, the guys shooting were wholly inaccurate, leaving us more flustered and frustrated than anything else. LCpl. Avery was still a nervous little fucker, but he was doing much better since the night I’d had to damn near threaten his life if he ever discounted another one of ours.

Not everything was shit on a stick with a black cloud hovering above it. LCpl. White received mail with pictures of his pregnant wife showing off their child growing inside of her. He teared up at the sight, making me realize that as badly as I wanted to move on with my life with Cassie, I didn’t want to bring a kid into the mix until I was out. This life we led was too much, and with two active duty parents, our kid wouldn’t stand a chance.

Cpl. Vega revealed that he had a girlfriend, and she was moving to Twentynine. She was finding a place to stay that they would be able to call home. In this fucking wasteland that we were calling home for the next few months, any bit of good news from home was enough to put a smile on our faces. Other than that, there really wasn’t much to smile about.

I got a letter from Cassie, just detailing the day to day shit going on with her, and as boring as it probably was for her to write it out, I held on to it. I read it over and over again until I’d damn near memorized it. Her getting up, PTing, going to the chow hall, working, then going home and doing close to nothing put a smile on my face. She was safe. She was able to move about freely and without worry which was a luxury we weren’t afforded in a combat zone.

I read her letter every night before I attempted sleep, and many mornings her letter was still in my hands when I woke. It was my only piece of normalcy, and I had to hold tight to it or else I would succumb to the insanity of where I was.

Good news finally came a few weeks later when First Sergeant Keating informed me that I’d be pinning on Staff Sergeant. Unfortunately, because of the nature of our surroundings, there would be no ceremony. I’d be pinned, and that would be that. I was okay with it, considering only a couple of months earlier, I thought I’d never see this promotion. If they decided to pin me in the middle of a deserted street, I’d take it.

I met First Sergeant Keating and our Company Commander, Captain Lucas, in their work quarters. Captain Lucas greeted me with a warm handshake, but First Sergeant Keating was a little milder. We hadn’t spoken about our blow up since the night it happened, but there was a thin layer of friction between us that was mutually shared, so the relationship was business only. We were the only people in the room, solidifying the fact that the pomp and circumstance of my previous promotions was an after-thought.

Captain Lucas held my warrant in his hand as he approached me. “Because of our circumstances, we’ll just do a small and quick promotion for you, Sergeant Cruz.”

First Sergeant Keating read the award warrant—long, drawn out, and lacking any real sort of emotion. The man was overworked and unenthusiastic about almost everything he did, but I didn’t care because, at the end of this, I would finally have my rank. They both stood, one at each of my sides, and removed the Sergeant chevrons from my collar and replaced them with the Staff Sergeant chevrons: three chevrons with the cross rifles in the middle and a rocker on the bottom. This was a moment of pride, and one that I thought would never come.

First Sergeant O’Hara gave every ounce of himself to try and keep me from attaining my rank, but alas, he’d failed, and the feel of it sitting on my collar was the ultimate testament to everything I’d given to the Corps with a mighty fuck you to O’Hara to go along with it.

“Anything you’d like to say, Staff Sergeant Cruz?” Keating asked.

“Just thank you,” I responded, remaining composed.

“All right, get your ass back to work,” Keating said, turning away and going back to work.

I left the building and headed straight for the phone center, not wanting to wait a second longer before sharing the big news with Cassie. If my ceremony had been at home, she would have been the person to pin me, but since that couldn’t happen, I wanted to make sure she was the first person to hear about it.