'Let me go,' she whispered, pushing his hands down. Luc spun her violently and clamped her against him in a hard embrace she could not break, his thigh forced against her own, his hands on her back holding her captive.
Lissa's anger hardened inside her as she met the determined blue eyes. She stared back at him, her mouth straightening to a level, stubborn line, 'I won't go to bed with you, Luc. I ran away from Chris because I refused to let anyone manipulate me and use me, and
I'm not going to let you do it. Chris was never in love with me-he just wanted to take me to bed, too. He saw me as some sort of possession-a thing he wanted, which he was prepared to wait for if he had to-and you see me the same way, too. I'm sick of men grabbing at me! I'm a person, not a thing. I wasn't making idle threats about jumping overboard. I mean every word.' Her voice had risen and quickened as she spoke, her anger flooding her face with hot colour, her eyes burn-' ing. 'I'd rather be dead than find myself in your bed. The very idea makes me sick!'
Luc listened, watching her, his face tightening and chilling. When she had broken off the last words with a breathless half-sob he dropped his arms from around her and moved away. Lissa stood, shaking, rigid and cold. Luc walked to the door and opened it.
She watched him go out. The door shut. Lissa's rigidity collapsed in a storm of bitter, scalding tears.
She stood with her hands over her face, weeping helplessly.
She had meant everything she said to him, but she still felt drained and sick at having had to say it. Luc had not protested at her accusation that he didn't love her. He had had that muh honesty. If she had let him talk her into bed she would have hated herself later and she was glad he had gone. Her tears were inexplicable.
CHAPTER NINE
The weather worsened as they moved deeper into the Atlantic. Lissa had to stay in her cabin, but now it was not because Luc insisted on it but because she was too sick to move from her bunk.
Luc took the mountainous seas and fierce gales in his stride. Lissa had somehow expected him to be impatient with her over her illness, but he was gentle and sympathetic during the whole period. When she whispered an apology to him he smiled at her, shaking his head. 'Don't be silly. It happens to us all.'
It did not happen to him. His skin was as cool and his eyes as clear as ever. Lissa envied him his ability to survive the rolling and tossing of the boat.
She had never felt so dreadful in her whole life. She lay in her bunk, feverish, her head thudding like a hammer, the cabin swirling around her. Luc was with her a good deal of the time. When he left, Dandy appeared. There was comfort in having someone with her and she lost all consciousness of Luc except as the man who dealt calmly with her appalling sickness, wiped her hot face with a damp cool flannel, murmured soothingly to her when she cried afterwards.
Later, she never knew how long that period lasted. She slept finally for hours and while she was asleep the yacht passed into quiet waters and the winds and rain vanished.
When she did open her eyes again, the cabin lay still and calm around her. Sunlight gleamed on the polished wood surfaces. Lissa lay and felt the gentle rocking of the boat. She was empty and drained yet oddly content, languidly unwilling to move.
Suddenly she heard an eerie shriek and sat up, startled. The porthole was briefly darkened by the flash of a wing.
Gulls, she thought in astonishment, and slid out of the bunk. As she padded to look out, the door opened behind her. She looked over her shoulder and Luc gave her a smile.
'You're awake! How do you feel?'
'Much better, thank you. I thought I heard a gull.'
'I expect you did-there's one circling around us and hoping for something to eat.'
'Are we near land?' she asked.
'That depends what you call near. I suppose we're around fifty miles off Plymouth.'
She felt shock streak along her nerves. 'Oh,' she said weakly, and a grey depression came down over her. Soon she would be able to leave the yacht, say goodbye to Luc and his threatening attentions and she told herself she was relieved. The peculiar sick misery in the pit of her stomach was merely alarm at the prospect of finding a job, somewhere to live, facing a new life.
Luc was watching her, his face unreadable.
She suddenly realised that she was in the thick flannel pyjama jacket which Dandy had lent her when her own nightclothes ran out during her sickness. The jacket was massive, far too big for her, and she felt ridiculous in it. She climbed back into the bunk, very flushed.
Luc gave a sudden grin. 'What's up now? After nursing you for the last few days it's a bit late for you to become prudish.'
'I feel like a clown in this jacket,' she said wryly. He laughed. 'You look very appealing in it.' She pleated the sheet with her fingers. 'Thank you for being so kind and understanding when I was ill. I'm sorry I was such a nuisance to you.'
'You weren't a nuisance,' Luc said flatly. 'Thank you, anyway.' She glanced up at him. 'When will we get to England?'
'Tomorrow.' He said the word shortly. 'You've got your passport?'
She nodded. 'My father made sure I kept a British passport and I've always renewed it when it ran out.'
'Good. That should make it easier.' Luc paused. 'What plans did you have for when we arrive? Have you any relatives in England?'
'None that I know of,' she said slowly. 'I shall go to London and try to get a. job.'
'You have some money with you?' She chewed her lower lip, flushing. 'A little.' 'How much?'
She shrugged. 'Enough to keep me until I find a job.' 'How much?' he insisted.
When she told him he stared at her and gave a short, angry bark of laughter. 'My God, girl, that won't keep you for more than two days in London!' 'I'll manage,' she muttered, her head bent. 'You've no idea what you're talking about,' Luc shot back at her tersely. ' London isn't a little village, you know. You're in for quite a cultural shock when you first arrive and being penniless into the bargain will make it worse.'
'I thought I could get work in a hotel,' said Lissa, still not looking at him. 'Alter all, that will give me somewhere to live, and I do know all about hotels.'
Luc moved to the porthole and stared out, his hands thrust into his pockets. 'I can't let you wander off alone.'
'I'm responsible for myself!'
He laughed harshly. 'I wish I could believe that. You'd walk straight into some sort of fix and I'd go crazy not knowing what was happening to you.’
Her heart missed a beat. She didn't answer, staring at her own fingers as they fidgeted with the sheet.
'I can't let you do it, Lissa,' he told her roughly.
'You can't stop me.'
He swung, his face fixed in a frowning mask. 'I know I've handled this all wrong, but you've got to trust me, Lissa, At least let me take you to my home for a few days while you find yourself work and a place to live.'
'No.' Her mouth was stiff and stubborn and he watched her with a barely controlled impatience, his body shifting restlessly.
'You're being stupid,' he bit out. His mouth twisted and the blue eyes held sardonic irritation. 'Do you want my word that I won't try to rape you?'
Her colour rushed up in a blinding heat and she glared at him. 'Maybe I do! I wouldn't put it past you.'
She saw that he did not like that. His face tightened. But he said coolly enough: 'Very well, you have my word. I shall not try to rape you. Is that sufficiently reassuring?' He turned and walked to the door. 'Dandy and his wife will be around, anyway. You won't be alone with me.'