"I'm so sorry for your loss," Carolyn said. "And I'm glad you're feeling better."
"Thank ye." She offered a quick curtsy then quit the room, leaving the door open, as she'd found it.
"Shall I pour?" Carolyn asked.
"Thank you." His gaze drifted to his dogs, who sat lined up on the hearth rug like pigeons upon a branch, their gazes riveted on the plate of biscuits. "You have a rapt audience," he said with a chuckle.
After serving them both-and tossing each dog a biscuit-she sipped her tea, then stared into the hearth at the low-burning flames. Darnel's gaze roamed over her, taking in her glossy hair, delicate features, and lovely pale green muslin gown. Bloody hell, she was stunning. Literally, as she completely stunned him, not only with her beauty, but her wit. And intelligence. And that devilishly mischievous streak. And the passion that sizzled beneath the surface of that perfect, ladylike exterior.
He was just contemplating how she would react to him pulling her onto his lap when she turned toward him.
"I have a proposition to offer you," she said.
"Yes," he said without hesitation.
"Yes what?"
"My answer is yes. To your proposition."
She blinked. "You don't even know what it is."
"I cannot fathom not liking anything you might suggest. Especially if it's anything like what I was thinking."
"And what were you thinking?"
"That I'd like to drag you onto my lap and slip my hand beneath your gown."
She looked toward the ceiling, but a smile teased the corners of her mouth. "Again you're thinking of sensual matters."
"Not at all. Clearly you didn't hear the word 'gown,' which makes it, once again, a clothing matter."
"Certainly an activity ripe with appeal and possibilities. However, my proposition-at least this one-concerns Katie and her employment situation."
"You mean her position here?"
"Yes. Daniel, I suspect you do not really require another maid. That you offered the job to Katie simply out of kindness. And if that is indeed the case, well, I'd like to hire her."
His brows rose. "You're in need of a maid?"
"Not exactly."
"Then why? You think her unhappy with her position here?"
"Not at all," she said quickly, shaking her head. "But I thought about this all morning, wondering if I should broach the subject with you. Seeing Katie just now convinces me my idea is sound. She's obviously grateful to you, and your offering her the position was very kind and generous. But considering her circumstances, I wonder if she might not feel more comfortable in a woman's household. Plus, she clearly took a strong liking to Gertrude, as Gertrude did to her."
She paused, looked down into her steaming cup, then again raised her gaze to his. "Plus, those things you said, about feeling useless and unfulfilled and how helping those in need has lessened those sentiments… I know all about feeling useless and unfulfilled, and have yearned for an enterprise to help chase them away. I find your efforts with your animals and now with helping Katie very admirable. Honorable. And I'd like to be a part of them. I thought offering Katie employment in my household could be a first step." Uncertainty flashed in her eyes. "That is, if you wouldn't mind my help."
For several seconds Daniel simply stared at her, stilled by the unexpected emotions her words elicited. After clearing his throat, he said quietly, "It's been a very long time since anyone has used the words 'admirable' and 'honorable' to describe anything I've done, Carolyn."
"I find that difficult to believe."
"You shouldn't. They certainly haven't always described me. I'm not certain I deserve them now."
Her gaze searched his, a frown marring her brow. "Based on your actions, on what I've observed, I'm certain you do. And I'm certain Samuel would say the same. And Katie. And all your animal friends, if they were able to do so."
She set aside her teacup then reached out to lay her hand on his. Heat rushed up his arm, and his heart ridiculously skipped at the simple touch. "You should be proud of what you've done, Daniel. Of what you're continuing to do. And I'd be proud and honored to help you. In any way you'd allow me to do so. And I'd be delighted… and relieved… to be doing something useful."
He looked down and studied her pale, slim hand resting on his. Bloody hell, he liked the way it looked atop his, so small and delicate. Liked the way it felt, so warm and soft. Liked the way it seemed as if it belonged there. A displaced piece of a puzzle that he hadn't even known was missing.
He rarely found himself at a loss for words, but this woman had a way of tying his tongue into knots. Of flooding him with such unexpected emotions he couldn't even begin to figure them out, let alone verbalize them. She'd spoken to him as if she considered him some sort of hero-a huge error on her part, as he knew damn well he wasn't. But how could he tell her that? He'd never told anyone…
He dragged his gaze up to hers, and realized by her high color and embarrassed expression that he'd remained silent too long.
"I beg your pardon," she murmured, slipping her hand from his. "I didn't mean to-"
He grabbed her hand and pressed it between his palms. "I'd be honored to have your assistance, Carolyn. Your offer to employ Katie is very generous and your reasoning is both sound and wise. We can put the proposition before her and allow her to decide. As for the animals, you may be sorry you've offered once your calm household is overrun with crazy canines, felines, and the odd rabbit or two. Or twelve. Believe me, chaos will reign."
Her smile was tentative at first, then bloomed fully, and he felt as if the sun had emerged from behind a cloud. "My household could use a bit of chaos. And I'm very fond of animals."
"Excellent. Shall we start you off with four dogs, two cats, and a very mouthy parrot?"
"If I thought you'd part with any of them, I'd take you up on that offer. But 'tis obvious you adore them."
He heaved a sigh and glanced at his four dogs and two cats, which all lay in a huddle on the hearth rug, heads resting on each others' backs and rumps. "Don't know how that motley bunch managed to get under my skin," he grumbled.
"It's because you've a soft spot inside."
"More like a soft spot in my head."
She smiled, and he felt as if he were slipping into a stupor.
Bloody hell, it seemed that he also had a soft spot right where he didn't want one. And had never before had one. Right in his heart.
Well, he'd have to shore up that unexpectedly vulnerable point very quickly because this interlude with Carolyn was nothing more than an affair. A lighthearted, temporary liaison. To even for one moment consider it something more would be the height of foolishness. Her heart belonged to her husband's memory-she'd made that patently clear. His heart was his own-and he'd be wise to keep it that way.
A lighthearted, temporary liaison.
Yes, that's what this was supposed to be.
So why did it suddenly feel so… unlighthearted? So… intense? Or was it sudden? Had it always been so all-consuming? Bloody hell, he didn't know. And why, when he tried to imagine himself with a woman other than Carolyn, did his insides seem to curdle in protest? Why did no other woman's face materialize in his mind?
Again, he didn't know. And damn it, he was afraid to examine those questions too closely for fear of what he'd find.
Chapter Sixteen
Sometimes our lovemaking was slow and leisurely, which I always found enjoyable. But those other times, when it was frantic and wild, when we dragged each other to the floor and yanked at our clothes as if possessed by demons, when he lost all control and the memory of his hard thrusts could still be felt hours later… those were the times I liked best.