“Yeah, but nothing I turn on is going to be any better than what you’ve already been listening to.” I frown when I spot Piper and Logan watching me from the foyer, chatting about God knows what.
Beck tracks my gaze. “You want me to ask them to leave? Because I can if you want me to. I don’t even know why they’re here. It’s not like I officially invited them.”
“It’s fine. They’ll just cause a scene if you do.” I rip my attention away from them and focus on the stereo. “You really want me to do this?”
He rotates his cap forward. “Absolutely. I love your taste in music, Lu. It’s so unique and different.”
I almost laugh as I wind around the table. Unique and different. God, no wonder my parents hate me. They love ordinary and blending in.
Shoving thoughts of my parents aside, I click open my music account. It takes me five tries to get the password since I haven’t been allowed to get on the internet in ages. Once I figure it out, I open one of the mixes I put together during the rare occasions my parents let me go to my friend’s house. Then I adjust the base and tweak the sound before stepping back.
A bumping, hypnotic beat booms from the speakers, and a satisfied grin spreads across Beck’s face as he rubs his hands together. “Dancing time.”
We squeeze toward the middle of the dance floor as the song slowly builds up, growing louder and louder.
“What about Ari and Willow?” I ask when we find a space on the floor.
With a drunken grin, Beck cups his hands around his mouth and shouts, “Ari! Willow! Front and center!”
Although people gawk at us like we’ve lost our minds, Beck just shrugs it off. He’s never been one for caring what other people think.
We start to move to the beat.
“You’re not going to do the robot this time, are you?” I ask him.
“I wasn’t planning on it, but now that you brought it up . . .” He charms me with a grin before he backs up with his arms out to the side, clearing some room. Then he proceeds to do the robot right there in front of everyone, and there’s nothing left for me to do but to just roll with it.
He laughs as I rock out, doing a head bang, and I giggle as he strikes pose.
“You guys are so dorky,” Willow comments as she joins us, “and I love you for it.”
“Of course you do.” Beck dances around her, grabs her arm, and spins her around.
She throws her head back, laughing when he does it again. As the song lulls to a sexy beat, he hauls her against him, and they sway back and forth, rubbing against each other, getting down and dirty.
I look away from the two of them, feeling as if I’m imposing on some sort of sexual moment.
“Ari, dance with me?” I ask with my hand extended to him.
“You know I suck at dancing,” he says but still takes my hand.
We dance for what feels like hours, laughing and messing around. As I’m standing there in the middle of the packed living room, dancing with three people I love more than anything, I become hyperaware of how much fun I’m having, maybe the most fun I’ve ever had. I realize that, whether that makes me a bad person or not, this is the kind of person I am. The kind who likes to dance, who likes to laugh with their friends, who loves picking out music, who loves being . . . well, free, like the walls are wide and there’s so much space, so much air.
“I need some water!” Ari shouts, fanning his face.
“I’ll come with you!” I start to tell Beck and Willow we’ll be back, but Beck’s hands are wandering all over Willow’s body, and she seems perfectly okay with being fondled by him, even enjoying it.
I quickly look away, startled. Ari appears as uncomfortable as I do, and we both silently agree to just let them be and head out to the back deck without them. Unlike the side porch, the back deck is an extension from Beck’s parents’ room, and not many people are out there.
“Well, that was . . . interesting,” Ari says, digging a bottle of water out of a large cooler.
“I know. Maybe they’re a little drunk or something.” I rub my hand across my forehead. “I don’t think Willow drank that much, though.”
He unscrews the lid off, hands the bottle to me, and gets another one out for himself. “You don’t think we should stop them or something?”
I take a swig of water and then shake my head. “I think we should just let them go. They seemed pretty comfortable with what they were doing.”
Ari unenthusiastically nods. “I guess so. Still, it’s going to make things weird if they hook up.”
I hadn’t really thought about that.
Before I can say anything else, his phone rings from inside his back pocket, and he fishes it out. “Shit. It’s my mom. She probably forgot I was going to the party and thinks I’m still in the house.” He presses talk then wanders down the stairs and into the shadows of the backyard.
I plant my backside down in a patio chair and sip on my water, staring up at the night sky dusted with stars, waiting for Ari to return. From the tidbits he’s told me about his family, his mom has some sort of mental illness, and the meds she’s on make her forget stuff, like picking him up from school, buying food, and paying the bills. Ari’s dad seems like a nice guy and tries to take care of the household, but he works crazy hours, and Ari and his older brother do a lot of things, like run errands and make sure the bills get paid. His brother even skipped going away to a college and, instead, takes classes online so he can be around to help out.
By the time Ari climbs back up the stairs, his shoulders are slumped over, as if the weight of the world is bearing down on him. “I have to go home. My dad’s working the nightshift tonight, and my mom needs help with something at the house.”
I start to get up. “Do you want me to go with you?”
He motions for me to stay put. “It’s okay. Stay and have fun for the both of us, okay?”
“If you need me, call,” I say, sinking back down into the chair.
He nods then disappears into the house.
The people who were out on the porch when we first came out have migrated to the back lawn to play Frisbee, so I relax back in the chair. While I’ve always been okay with being by myself, I find myself wishing I wasn’t out here alone. I think about going back inside and finding Beck and Willow, but what if they’re up in one of the rooms or something? I could always go find Grey, but I’m not sure I feel that daring just yet. And wandering alone . . . What if I run into Piper and Logan? I don’t want to put up with drama tonight. I just want to relax.
I take out my phone to read the email that is supposedly from Aunt Ashlynn as I work up the courage to go track down the guy I like. As I’m typing a quick response, asking her when her birthday is, I hear the back door coast open.
“I was beginning to worry that you didn’t come,” Grey’s voice sails over my shoulder.
An uncontrollable, goofy smile rises on my face. I quickly hit send then look up at him. “I was starting to wonder the same thing about you.”
He steps onto the deck beneath the porch light, and I discreetly check him out. He always looks good, but he looks extremely sexy tonight in a pair of loose-fitted jeans and a black, thermal shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Like Beck, he has a backward baseball cap on his head, but unlike Beck, Grey’s eyes aren’t glazed over and bloodshot.
He pulls the door shut, his eyes all over me, taking in every inch of my body and face. “You look nice.” When his gaze lingers on my chest, I fight the urge to cross my arms, remembering what Piper said about me being flat chested. He drags his eyes off me and notes the vacated back deck. “Why are you sitting out here alone?”
“Ari was out here with me a few minutes ago, but he had to go home.” I lay my phone down on the table and cross my legs. “I was inside for a bit, dancing, but it got too hot.”
His brow teases upward. “You dance?”
“What can I say? Apparently, I’m a closet DJ and dancer.”
“Really?” He seems particularly interested in my declaration. “Do I get to see these dancing skills anytime soon?”
“Sure.” I rise to my feet, preparing to go inside, but he moves away from the door, takes out a phone from his back pocket, and swipes his finger across the screen.