“Don't worry so about me, you sweet old thing! I'll listen to your advice in the future. But it's fierce to be here all alone. Maybe I'll pay you to come and sleep with me some night, I've got lots of money. I'll telephone Lafronde and disguise my voice and ask for a girl, and you can volunteer.”
“No! I won't sleep with you, you perverted little woman-fucker!”
“Not even if I pay you?”
“No! Not even if you pay me!”
“That's nice! You'd go to a hotel with some woman you don't even know and do things with her, but you won't sleep with me!”
“Jessie, how can you even think of such things after what's happened?”
“Let's get undressed and lie down for a little while. You haven't anything to do this afternoon.”
“Are you in your right senses?”
“Listen; if you'll stay, I'll do it like Heloise did… only nicer!”
“Oh! You're one of those, too, are you? Well, thanks, I don't want any today. When I do, I'll let you know. How much do you charge?”
“I'll bet I could make it last you a whole hour!”
“No!”
“Please, darling, sweet Hester! Think of me, locked up here alone in this room by myself day after day!”
“No! And if I did, you'd be sure to leave the door unfastened so anyone could open it and walk right in!”
“Look!” I exclaimed, and jumping up I twisted the key in the lock and held it up before her. “I'll even hang up a towel over the keyhole so nobody can peek at us!”
“Well, come on, then! I just want to see if you're really capable of doing that, too!”
I had paid a month's rent, but by the time two weeks had passed I found the loneliness and inactivity intolerable. Hester had brought a list with several addresses which Madame Lafronde had prepared, and feeling now that there was little likelihood of being bothered by the police, I set out one afternoon to see if I could find a place.
With one swift glance of appraisal the madam of the first house on the list invited me to a room, had me undress for a survey of my physical assets, and immediately began to ply me with flattering and enticing inducements to join her menage. I was rather taken aback by such unexpected eagerness and the assurance of profitable earnings, but anxious to settle the matter of immediate occupation I accepted her offer without delving into promises which seemed somewhat exaggerated.
The bargain was struck. I was shown the room which would be at my disposition and introduced to several of the young ladies who would be my future companions. They were a slightly faded lot, considerably below Madame Lafronde's standards, and the depressing thought came over me that my entry into this second-rate bagnio signaled another step downward towards the abyss. But I shrugged the thought aside; I could always leave if I didn't like, it, and told the woman I would bring my effects in the morning.
Before opening the door for me to leave, she detained me a moment in the hall.
“Listen dearie,” she murmured in low, wheedling tones, “I forgot to mention… I don't suppose it will make any difference… but I've got a special class of trade here… this isn't a French house exactly, but you know how it is… most of my best paying regulars like it a little out of the ordinary… you understand. All the other girls here do it You won't mind that, will you dearie?”
Ah! As I digested this bizarre announcement, which fully explained the cajolements and flattery and alluring promises, the woman watched my face anxiously, as though to read therein some sign which would tell her whether the bird was going to fly off affrighted or remain in the trap.
For a long moment I stood pensively silent. I knew from the dejected aspect of the place, the sallow-faced girls, the tarnished furniture, that the type of men who frequented it would be far, far different from those I was accustomed to dealing with. Up to the present, my cock-sucking inclinations had been exercised voluntarily, to satisfy my own sexual cravings. Here, I would be obliged to do it, whether I felt so inclined or not. I hesitated uncertainly, and then, with a gesture of indifference, replied:
“I'll give them what they want.”
And thus, with six short words, did I seal my pact with hell, and bind myself henceforward to madden the brains of men and corrode their souls with the bittersweet poison of my sucking lips.