Jordan didn’t lie. The man loved her. Yet she hadn’t returned the words. The idea of saying them with death so near had caught the truth in her throat. And yeah. He’d surprised her. Dreams didn’t have words. Yet he’d found some.
Her dreams had always included him. Even while lying to herself, trying to move on, she’d harbored the hope of their future. Deep down at her core, she’d believed.
Fate smashed hope and belief into splinters of nothingness.
Fear that he’d see her feelings as a silly crush, or worse yet, have pity on her had kept her distant from him for ten years. An entire decade had passed when she could’ve been with him.
And now, Jordan was accepting fate. He was going to leave her all alone again.
She flashed back to the moment she’d first shifted as a small child, scared beyond belief and running alone in the woods. If anything, the woods and the world were much scarier today than they’d ever been.
And he was going to leave her alone again.
At the thought, fire welled up in her with a strength that had her sitting up. Fuck that. Fuck fate. And fuck Jordan, too.
Katie had absolutely nothing left to lose. She did, however, have one last chance to save him. Sure, it might kill them both. Or anger Jordan to the point that he hated her. She could live with the hate, if it saved him.
With a quick punch to the pillow, she shot to her feet. She could either lie back and let fate decide, or embrace the dark.
Life truly was all or nothing.
Chapter 19
Out of the whipping rain, Katie stood at the entrance of headquarters, peering from under a New Orleans Privateers hat. The clouds shot across the sky, revealing and then hiding the moon, the storm never pausing. She tilted her head for a better sense, nodding when no vibrations came back. Brent and any others of his kind remained too far away to feel.
The safety wouldn’t last, of that she was sure. The moon would be full the next night, and if Brent attacked again, he’d strike under its power.
But for tonight, the forest around them remained clear. The snipers had headed indoors after making sure the area was secure. They weren’t needed outside tonight in the storm. The folks could sleep peacefully in the earth one more night.
She double-checked her readings. Now that she’d decided on a path, no emotion clouded her mind. “I don’t sense anyone.”
Jordan lounged against the rock, not touching her. Dressed in a black T-shirt and cargo pants, he looked as impenetrable as the rocks around them. They stood less than a foot apart, but the distance felt like miles. “I’m betting we see some action with the full moon tomorrow.” He peered into the darkness. “Yeah. The woods are safe tonight.”
Anticipation and an odd inevitability hinted in his low tone. The man was planning on going out strong, taking out werewolves before losing himself.
That’s what he thought. Thunder rolled high and loud. Katie jumped and then cleared her throat. There had to be a way to get through to him. He was the most honest person she knew and wouldn’t play coy even if he could figure out how. “Did you mean what you said earlier?”
His eyes darkened. He sucked in air. “Yes.”
Her smile came unbidden. “You don’t sound happy about that.”
“I’m not.” He scrubbed both hands down his face. “I have twenty-four hours until I go over completely. Telling you I loved you was a mistake.”
At least he didn’t call the actual fact of loving her a mistake. “I kissed Lance.” Well, Lance had kissed her, but close enough. She wanted a reaction from Jordan, and she’d get it.
Fire shimmered along his skin. “Katie, come on.” Then he lifted his head ever so slightly. His nostrils flared.
So far, he was keeping an admirable hold on his impressive temper. She’d need him to unleash for her plan to work. “I want all of you, Jordan.” Her voice stayed soft, but the guy had animal hearing.
“You have all of me.”
“Bullshit.” Something inside of her enjoyed the flash of warning that lit his eyes. He’d always hated when she swore. “While I thought you were a good fuck, you didn’t give me all of you.”
His chin lowered. “What’s your goal here, kitten?”
Leave it to Jordan to cut right to the issue. “What do you mean?” Unlike the leader of the lions, she had no problem playing coy.
“You’re trying to piss me off, and for the world of me, I can’t figure out why.”
Because Cara had told her to challenge him. “Cowards piss me off.”
“You’re calling me a coward?” He sounded more bemused than angry.
Okay, this wasn’t going according to plan. Well, if all else failed. “The sex was just fine, Jordan. I know you’re not feeling a hundred percent lately.”
His eyebrows lifted. “Just fine?”
“Well, yeah. I mean you’re cranky tonight, obviously, and I figured you might be stressed about what happened between us. It was ... nice. Really, really nice.”
He studied her like she was trapped in a slide under Emma’s microscope. “So nice you screamed out my name each time. Four times, to be exact.”
“I know.” She lowered her voice to something soothing. “So stop worrying about it. I mean, you’ll move on, and I’ll learn the really hot stuff from Lance.” She bit her lip. “Or maybe Terrent Vilks. I’ve heard wolves are crazy wild.”
“Katie.” Jordan’s voice cut like a whip. “Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
He rolled his eyes. “Stop trying to make me mad. This isn’t going to work.”
The clouds chose that moment to part a sliver, allowing the moon to shine through the rain. He lifted his head, a low rumbling spilling from his chest.
Well, if words wouldn’t do it, she had one card left to play. Twisting her body, she shot a sidekick to his knee. With a muffled oof, he went down, surprise lighting his face. Jumping, she kicked him square in the temple. His head bounced off the rock with a sickening thud.
With a gasp, she ran. She dodged left, then right, having scouted her path earlier.
A shiver wound across her torso to land in her abdomen. She probably had less than a minute until Jordan recovered and came after her. The rain pelted down, soaking her white T-shirt and ripped jeans. Her tennis shoes squished in the mud as she jogged. No sense making this easy on him.
God, she hoped this wasn’t a huge mistake.
She yanked the bill of her cap lower to shield her eyes. Thunder complained high and loud. Lightning flashed across the sky, turning the clouds a light gray for the briefest of moments. The ocean churned far below.
Panting, she leaned against a tree, allowing the boughs to protect her somewhat.
Jordan’s bellow rose over the storm. Calling her name. Oh yeah. The lion was angry.
Gingerly, quietly, Katie headed deeper into the forest. This was all or nothing. God, she hoped it was something. Using all the training he’d given her, she tried to avoid leaving signs. Rain dripped off her hat. Wet clothes molded to her skin. Wind smashed into her body. She shivered.
The hair on the back of her neck prickled. She turned around only to see dark forest. Pivoting, she hurried the other way. Every instinct she owned clamored she was being stalked.
Several quick turns and she stopped cold. Jordan stood between two trees, clothes plastered to his hard body, his hair long and wild in the wind. But those eyes. Nearly glowing in the dim light, something more than lion.
She hadn’t thought about the emerging werewolf inside him. The lion would never hurt her. The werewolf... who knew?
Thunder roared, and she jumped.
“Why did you kick me?” Low, guttural, the primal tone cut through the storm.