We stand there staring at each other like idiots, until Opal shouts, “Hey! What’s for dinner?”
Then we laugh and our hands unlink, not like they’re breaking apart but more like they’re just easing into a separation that could end at any moment, bringing our fingers back together. We work together in the kitchen, and I discover there are lots of things I like about Dillon besides his hair and eyes and smile. He tells good jokes and stories. He keeps Opal occupied. He even figures out how to set up the TV and DVD player so she and my mom can watch a movie, since there’s nothing but snow on the regular channels.
“How long will your genny last?” he asks after we’ve washed the dishes and made our secret way down to the basement.
“I don’t know. I figure a day or so before I have to refill it, but I’m going to turn it off when we go to bed.”
“Good idea. I can bring you some more gas tomorrow,” Dillon says. “It’ll be easier than you riding your bike.”
“You don’t have to.” I pause in front of the workroom.
“I want to. Is he… in there?” Dillon sounds a little nervous.
Craig doesn’t look as scary now that I know what I’m expecting. And there really isn’t much of him left to wrap inside the tarp. We secure it with duct tape. He doesn’t weigh much at all, though I know I’d never have been able to lift him by myself. Together, Dillon and I get the bundle up the stairs and out the garage without Opal even looking up from the TV.
We carry Craig all the way around the house and into the woods, as far back as we can with only the light from the family room to guide us. We settle him against some fallen trees. I have a shovel and we take turns digging a hole. The ground’s rocky, and in the end, it’s very shallow, but we slide him into it and cover him with dirt and rocks and the limbs of fallen trees.
“Do you want to say something?” Dillon sounds out of breath.
“Should we?” I don’t really know what to say. “Umm… Craig was a good neighbor and he deserves better than this. And… this isn’t how it should’ve happened, but the world’s changed a lot and I guess this is the best we can do.”
I feel like I should recite a poem or something, but nothing comes to mind. The whole situation is entirely bizarre and yet compared to everything else that’s gone on in the world, burying my neighbor in the backyard doesn’t really seem so bad.
We get back in the house just as the movie’s ending. I check on Opal, who’s asleep with her head in my mom’s lap. My mom’s stroking her hair, her eyes heavy lidded, and I leave them both to clean up in the kitchen.
Dillon and I scrub our hands and arms at the sink, glad for hot water and lots of soap. It’s not a shower, but I might still get one later. For now this is good enough.
He blows a handful of suds at me. That seems like a good idea, and I blow one back. Then he splashes me, and I can’t let that go without retaliation.
I’m not sure how it ends up that he’s got me in his arms, but the kiss is everything a first kiss should be. Soft and slow and sweet… and magic.
Dillon pulls away, looking worried. “Sorry, Velvet, is that okay? That I did that?”
I nod, smiling. “Yeah. Definitely.”
He kisses me again, even slower this time, and I know that while I may have thousands of memories I want to forget, this isn’t one of them.
TWENTY-THREE
WE HAVE A COUPLE OF WEEKS TOGETHER, me and Dillon, in which he comes over every day after his work is finished at the Conkennel. He takes me to the post office to pick up the assistance checks and to the bank to cash them, to the store for groceries and gas station to buy gas for the generator. He spends time with my sister like she’s his and my mom as though she’s normal. Dillon makes life normal for me.
I don’t know what I’d do without him.
He helps Opal with her homework. He walks her through the math problems I’d have struggled with. He’s patient with her. He promises her a game of Uno if she finishes on time, without whining, and Opal does the work seriously, nibbling her pencil.
“Hey, Opal,” Dillon says. “Do you think you’d be okay here with your mom while I take Velvet someplace?”
I look up from the pot of beans I’ve been stirring on the fire. Yeah, we can use the stove, but beans have to cook a long time, and I don’t want to use the generator when I don’t have to. Dillon found me a cast-iron pot that will cook them slowly and makes them taste better. I meet his eyes across the room.
Opal shrugs. “I guess so. Will you be back before it gets dark?”
With spring on the way, the nights take longer to get here, but Opal still doesn’t like to be left alone in the dark, even with Mom. I wouldn’t, either. Even so, I’m surprised she agreed to Dillon’s request.
“I promise.”
“Are you taking her to the store?” Opal asks.
She loves going to the grocery store and I hate taking her, because she always wants to spend our minimal money on junk cereals and candy, no matter how many times I have to tell her that just because the list of foods we’re approved to buy includes them, that doesn’t mean we have to buy them.
“If she needs to go. Velvet?”
I want to say yes, just to get out of the house for a short while, though I know I don’t have any money. “Sure. Mom, I’m going to go with Dillon for a while, okay? You stay here with Opal.”
It’s still hard to know what she hears and understands, though every day there’s a little more glimmer in her eyes. Every day she moves a little less unsteadily. She dresses herself, feeds herself, and uses the bathroom. She doesn’t talk, though. I know she can—she has a voice, I mean. And she can communicate sometimes, too, though more often than not, she simply does whatever it is we tell her to do. But words seem beyond her.
Right now she’s sitting on the couch, flipping through an ancient home and garden magazine she’s looked at a dozen times already. Maybe more. She studies the pictures, her face blank. She turns the page. Sometimes she turns the page backward to look at it again.
“Opal, you sure you’ll be okay?” I ask.
Opal shrugs. “Sure.”
Things have changed over the past couple of weeks, mostly for the better. I thought it would be harder, making sure she did her schoolwork, making ends meet without a job, but so far it’s all falling into place. I put on my coat and give them both a last look before I follow Dillon out the door.
“Do you really have to go to the store?” he asks.
“No. Where are you taking me?”
“On a date.”
He grins at me as I slide into the passenger seat. We haven’t had anything like a date yet. With curfews and the army patrolling the streets, there’s no place to go, even if either of us did have any money to spend or there were anything datelike to do.
I laugh. “For real? Where? To Foodland?”
“No.” Dillon shakes his head. “You’ll see.”
There are roadblocks set up across the highway, and Dillon frowns as he slows the truck. I look out at the camouflage-painted trucks, and the men and women in their uniforms. They have blank faces and carry guns.
“What’s going on?”
Before Dillon can answer, one of the soldiers raps on his window. Dillon rolls it down. Without saying anything, he tugs open the collar of his jacket and the shirt beneath it to show his bare skin. The soldier nods, then gestures.
“Her, too.”
“Show them your neck, Velvet.”
“What? Why?”
This gets the soldier’s attention. He leans in Dillon’s window to stare at me. “Where’ve you been?”
“Just show him, Velvet,” Dillon says calmly, though I hear a slight tremor in his voice.
I bare my neck for the soldier, who seems satisfied and withdraws. He waves us on. All my good feelings have faded, but I wait until we’ve left the roadblock behind before I turn in the seat to look at Dillon.