I flinch as I look over my shoulder and see Trent lying down with his hands behind his head and an ‘I want to fuck you’ look on his face.
“Sorry if I woke you.”
Abruptly he is off the bed and standing directly in from of me.
“You didn’t. Is your headache gone?”
His tone is caring, which I know is all a damn lie.
“It is,” I lie too.
“Good, because I missed you last night.” Bringing his mouth down, he kisses right above the top of my towel where it’s wrapped tightly over my breasts. “Next time wake me up so we can shower together.”
Not on your motherfucking life will I wake you up and let you EVER touch me in that shower. He lifts his head and runs his hands down my arms, causing chills of horror to ripple all over my body.
“I would love that.” I smile and lean in to give him a soft peck on his lips. “What do you have planned today?” I ask as I turn from him and enter the bathroom, shedding the towel in record time and quickly getting dressed.
“Not quite sure. You?” he asks through the closed door.
“Krista called me yesterday and wants to meet for coffee. She’s been dying to have some now that Nolan is here. Would you like to come with?”
Please say no.
“Nah, I’m good. I do want to go out tonight, though.”
I grab my brush and pull it through my wet hair and gather it up in a ponytail.
“Sure. Do you want to go to the club like we planned last night?” I ask, turning and walking back into the bedroom. I pray like hell he is dressed.
“Let’s do that,” I hear him call out from the closet.
I let out the breath I was holding, which damn near made me pass out, and start to make the bed. I want to keep my daily morning routine the same so as not to throw him off. He reappears out of the closet fully dressed in my husband’s clothes.
“What time will you be back?”
My anger climbs out of control as I see him standing there as if he owns the place. Keeping my murderous thoughts to myself, I rein in my anger and replace it with a bogus smile.
“Not too long.” I go back to finishing up making the bed. “I do need to stop at the grocery store, though. Is there anything you would like me to pick up?”
He grins and stealthily makes his way over to me, putting his arms around me and guiding me slowly down onto my perfectly made bed.
“Just bring yourself back,” he whispers hoarsely.
Within seconds his mouth is on mine. Even though the sight of him lying on top of me is nauseating, I submit to his kiss, lightly stroking my tongue against his. With persistent urgency, he plunges his tongue into my mouth and doesn’t miss a beat as he swirls his tongue forcefully against mine.
Now that I know who this man really is, he definitely kisses so much differently than Turner. Turner’s kisses are sweet and comforting and Trent’s are demanding and full of temptation. A temptation that I am finding myself eagerly surrendering to.
My mind is telling me that it is wrong, oh so wrong, to enjoy the way he is kissing me, but my body has a mind of its own and at this very moment it’s winning as I feel his steely erection press into my core. I’m weak and I need to stop, and yet somehow I can’t. I clutch desperately at him, drawing him as close to me as I can.
I hate you. I hate you, I repeat over and over in my head.
“Holy shit, baby. If we don’t stop now, you will never make it over to Krista’s.”
His voice is raspy and full of desire as he mouths his words against my lips. I blink several times as I realize what I have just done.
“You’re right.” Bracing my hands on his chest to gently coax him off of me. “I’ll call you when I leave the store.”
He takes my hands and pulls me up off the bed.
“Sounds good. Tell everyone I’ll be over soon.”
Lifting my phone off the dresser, I kiss him one last time on the cheek and with shaky legs, I descend the stairs in a blurry haze. I manage to grab my purse and make it out to my car before losing myself in a fit of tears. A lump forms in my throat as I pull out of my driveway. I slam my hands against the steering wheel as I speed down the road toward the coffee shop as all the guilt pours out of me at once and my heart sags into an empty pit of darkness.
************
I survey the parking lot of the coffee shop for Zack’s truck. This is where we’ve decided to meet to try and come up with a plan, since we didn’t have much time to figure things out when he broke this news to me yesterday. I will never forget the look of pain on my brother’s face when he told me. Not seeing his truck anywhere in sight, I pull down my visor and look into the mirror.
“Jesus Christ, Clove. You’re a fucking mess.”
Reaching over and opening the glove box, I yank out a handful of Kleenex and wipe my eyes, trying to clean up my face as best as I can before my brother gets here and sees what a mess I am.
Oh, who am I trying to kid? I toss the dirty Kleenex onto the floor. He’s my brother, for God’s sake. He knows how much I love Turner, so he knows I am going to be a mess. As if on cue he pulls in right next to me, dashing out of his truck and whipping my car door open.
“Fuck. Clove. Come here.”
He helps me get out of the car and I am engulfed in the best brotherly hug that I have ever had, one that is so very much needed.
“Shh. Come on. Let’s get in the truck.”
Zack extracts himself from my clingy body and opens his truck door for me to climb in. After shutting the door, he dashes to his side and steps up.
“Here,” he says, handing me some Kleenex. “I can’t imagine what you must be going through, Clove. It’s okay to let out how you feel. I can’t tell you what you need to do at home, sis, but I can tell you that I am doing everything humanly possible to try and find Turner. I need you away from that sick fuck like yesterday.”
He places his hand on my shoulder and gives me a light squeeze. I know he still wants me to leave. I just can’t. I have come to terms with the fact I have to stay; it’s just a lot harder than I imagined.
“Does everyone at the station know about this?”
I turn my head and look out the window. I can’t bear to look at my brother right now. I feel so deceitful. If I make it through this without killing either Trent or myself it will be a damn miracle. The guilt is eating me alive that in spite of knowing right from wrong, I still let myself succumb to Trent this morning.
“Martinez and the chief know, Clove. There are a few others as well, others that work for us. We’re having Trent followed. We know his every move outside of the house. But . . .” He pauses and my head snaps around to look at him.
“But what?” My voice cracks. His empathetic look is confirmation of what I am dreading the most.
“You have to play your part in this, Clove. You have to be his wife.”
“I- I don’t know how to do that, Zack.”
God, it’s so hard talking to my brother about this. Zack places his hand over the top of mine.
“Look. I know how much you love Turner and want him home safe. That love is all you’re going to need to get yourself through this.”
My tears have turned into uncontrollable sobs now. I want my husband home and safe, and to feel his arms wrapped tightly around me. I am so ashamed of myself for the way I acted this morning when Trent kissed me. There is no way in hell I can tell my brother that, though. He’ll think poorly of me. I start shaking.
“Clove, what is it?”
“Oh my God, Zack. Do you know what it’s going to do to Turner when he finds out that I’ve slept with another man? This is going to destroy my marriage. He is so proud of the fact that he was my one and only. What if he can’t get past that?”
I’m so frightened. And I don’t like the look that my brother is giving me, either. I don’t want his pity.